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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about this nurse?

78 replies

askyfullofstars · 28/02/2015 06:43

I had my asthma check with my nurse. My asthma is fine at the moment, its just triggered by allergens mostly.
Anyway, the nurse told me that I was overweight and so I should get that under control and that would also help. I agreed and told her that 18ish months ago I was xx stone. Now I am xx stone. I have lost six and a half stone so I am aware of my problem and Im well on the way to fixing it.
She said its not really a reason to celebrate as according to my BMI I still have 3-4 stone to go.
I said I know, Im working on it, and also, I've worked really hard to get where I am so I feel really proud. She just rolled her eyes.
Anyway I go to the gym 4-5 times a week, I do a lot of cardio but add in a couple of rounds of weights. I also mix it up with classes and every Friday I do yoga.
Anyway, was at yoga class, stood on one leg, focussed on a point in the mirror. All I could see was myself, and I just kept thinking, "you are a fat bitch really, look at your wobbles" and honestly it made me want to cry. I did when I got out the class.
I am now a size 14 (sixteen on top as Ive massive norks) from a 20-22 and havent thought of myself as fat or wobbly in ages, but I cant shake that bloody eyeroll.
WIBU to complain and suggest she tries to be more personable? Or am I being oversensitive? After all, shes not wring I am overweight.

OP posts:
WestEast · 28/02/2015 08:38

Nurse here. Fuck me, six stone is excellent! I'd tell you exactly that, without the swearing obviously! I'd complain if I were you, she might not know she's coming across as a cow and it definately needs highlighting to her.

Well done.

engeika · 28/02/2015 08:38

I don't know if I'd complain or not but I do wan to add "well done" for the weight loss. It is so hard to do what you have done. Keep it up. Don't lose heart

smartiesaretheanswer · 28/02/2015 08:41

Firstly well done on your weight loss that's amazing! I would also complain. My asthma nurse is also on at me to lose weight (am a size 12) and every time I go insists I demonstrate how to use my inhaler, well seeing as I've been using them over 10 years I'm not going to have forgotten, she's put in my notes I can take it correctly and yet every time I have to take unnecessary Ventolin just to show her, drives me mad!

sparkysparkysparky · 28/02/2015 08:44

Complain. Too many health professionals get away with this arrogant crap. You should be praised and encouraged. Wow by the way!

Beesandbutterflies · 28/02/2015 08:56

Please complain!
Congratulations on your weight loss and hard work x

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/02/2015 09:14

She was very rude and wrong. Complain.

TwoOddSocks · 28/02/2015 09:40

Yes you should complain that's absolutely outrageous behaviour from a professional. Mentioning weight the first time was fine, the attitude she betrayed from that point on is absolutely unacceptable. She's there to help and encourage you with your health, not judge or berate you. Eye rolling is never acceptable.

It's pretty clear to everyone that losing 6 and half stone is something to celebrate. That's pretty f**king amazing. You're more than half way there and there is nothing else you can do apart from continue doing what you're doing. Trying to shame you when you're doing everything right is not only nasty and unpleasant but counter productive.

TwoOddSocks · 28/02/2015 09:41

PS shaming you if you weren't even trying to lose weight wouldn't be productive but when you are actually doing everything right it's both nasty and stupid.

mousmous · 28/02/2015 09:46

yes complain.

even though she is right in that you need to lose a bit more (you know that yourself and are working on it) her manner was awful.

well done for losing so much and being active! you will get there!

Lara2 · 28/02/2015 11:17

Wow! Well done you OP - you should be really proud of yourself! But why have you got another 3-4 stone still to loose if you're a size 14? You'll disappear!!!
Definitely complain - she's a cow and has no business being a nurse if that's how she speaks to people. And as for rolling her eyes........words fail me!!!!!

fuddleduck · 28/02/2015 11:34

As a health professional I get so pissed off when I hear about people being treated this way. I would never dream of rolling my eyes at a patient and speaking to them in such a patronising manner. To go from a size 20-22 down to a size 14 is a massive achievement and must have taken real determination and hard work. Any Nurse worth their salt would recognise that. Please don't let the attitude of one person who is clearly lacking in any social skills stop you from celebrating your success.

NeedABumChange · 28/02/2015 11:42

She didn't call you wobbly and she didn't even call you fat she just told the truth that you still need to lose weight Nd not to get complacent. YABU.

binspin · 28/02/2015 11:43

You've done amazingly and yes you should complain about the nurse!

sparkysparkysparky · 28/02/2015 11:45

Sounds like fuddleduck is the one to listen to. Well done and keep on keeping on. If I knew you in real life I would look at you with admiration.

whippy33 · 28/02/2015 11:51

I would be tempted to have clicked my fingers and said "See that doesn't work...so I will just have to continue with what I am doing as it seems it is working much better than your suggestion." Well done on your loss so far.

darlingfascistbullyboy · 28/02/2015 11:53

err no she didn't "just tell the truth" she said that a six stone weight loss is nothing to celebrate. Which is clearly rubbish - even if the OP had another 12 stone to lose to get into a healthy range any sustained weight loss has a beneficial effect on health. So she's incorrect and could perhaps benefit from some updating in her training.

Well done OP ... it's such a slog & you've done so well. Don't let her leave you feeling crap about yourself.

Roomsdoom · 28/02/2015 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTedCrilly · 28/02/2015 11:59

That is disgusting! How do people like this choose to go into a caring profession...Angry

MrsTedCrilly · 28/02/2015 12:00

Oh and well bloody done, you have done awesomely! Smile

windchime · 28/02/2015 12:13

OP, I am wondering why you chose to put xx stone for your current weight instead of the real figure.

lilac26 · 28/02/2015 12:14

Yes, complain. I am a nurse and I would be ashamed of myself if I spoke to a patient like that.

She is factually incorrect, and not functioning correctly in her role as a nurse. And a rude unpleasant sounding person.

As other have said, what you have done is fantastic and you should be immensely proud of your hard work.

As for the eye roll! What a mature professional delight she sounds.

Koalafications · 28/02/2015 12:17

You have achieved an amazing result in 12 months and you should be proud.

I'm interested to know what the Nurse thought you should have done... Clicked your fingers, tapped your sparkly red heels together to Magic the weight off immediately?! Confused

I would complain and suggest that the nurse receives additional training on her 'bedside manner' and, of course, some additional training on how the human body loses weight.

Viviennemary · 28/02/2015 12:20

You have done amazinly well to have lost all that weight. And the nurse was really out of order not praising you but dwelling on the negative. I'm not a medical person but losing the weight you've lost already will be very beneficial to your health. Yes complain. Because if you don't then she'll do the same to other patients.

Momagain1 · 28/02/2015 12:23

Why would you winder at it windchime ? Inexactitude in these things is standard around here. The exact number is nobody's business, and not important.

ragged · 28/02/2015 12:24

Congrats on your lifestyle changes, they sound great.

oh well, there has to be one dissenting voice:

Putting in a complaint about rolling eyes & lack of congratulations would be totally daft. My bar for what deserves a formal complaint is far far higher than that.