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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that so many public organisations forget people work?

118 replies

cricketballs · 27/02/2015 16:38

Just to set the scene as to our lives; both DH and I work FT. I teach, DH skilled worker (often has to work away) and we have DS2, 15, who has MLD & ASD.

so, in the space of 5 working days we have had 3 day notice of an interview af SEN college that parents have to attend (which I did, but was left outside as they wanted to talk to DS2 on his own!
A shitty toned letter from Chamhs about the fact we have not taken up a parent course that takes place 1 day a week over 6 weeks (middle of the day) and then finally came home to a letter from DWP that as I completed a form sent to us stating that as DS2 is not capable, when he is 16 I will continue to act on his behalf they need to do a home visit in 3 days time - this home visit will take place between 9am - 5pm! For some reason they couldn't work out that he will be at school therefore he nor I will be waiting in all day. Had to leave a message on their voice mail to say I would not be keeping him off school and they need to arrange for school holidays.

We work, DS2 goes to school - why is that so difficult to comprehend? rant over

OP posts:
Lifesalemon · 27/02/2015 21:12

YANBU
I had to do the same with the DWP home visit. My daughter had already had lots of time off school with ill health and I had had to take time off work too, luckily I have a very understanding employer.
Its annoying that they don't give you a time so you have to wait in all day and it annoyed me even more that the actually visit only took about ten minutes and I had wasted my full day waiting around.
At least they agreed to rearrange for the holidays but they do seem to give the impression that their time is more precious then ours and we have nothing better to do then to sit around waiting for them to arrive. Angry

PrettyFeet · 27/02/2015 21:18

YANBU

Especially the local councils which is a bit rich.

Had to renew a parking permit during the week. Was told to renew out of the borough due to the offices being closed and the building sold on. The hours of obtaining permit were Mon-Fri between 9 and 5.

Not in the real world at all are they.

Original poster
cricketballs · 27/02/2015 21:19

I am definitely not having DS missing a day off school for a 10 min visit to check his identity! They haven't read the form given that the letter was addressed to DS and made no mention/indication that either DH or I would also have to be at home with him - I'm not surprised though given that can't realise that with his DOB he would be at school

OP posts:
fairyella · 27/02/2015 21:24

I agree

Many "systems" (local government offices, services) haven't really moved beyond a time when most households had a nuclear family, with 1 main breadwinner earning the cash, with 1 support person at home. Neither have many of the local smaller shops I'd love to shop in, for that matter - there's nothing left in my local bakers if I leave work early for a special occasion and pop in at 5.30 on the way home - and that's leaving early! They're shut when I travel to work, and shut when I travel back, so despite the fact that they're on my commute and I'd like to buy stuff, they might as well not exist.

Employment patterns have moved on since the 1950s, yet why does my dentist only offer routine appointments Mon-Fri? Why does my GP not have at least 1 late night a week where fulltime workers can hope to access services? and so on.

HelenaDove · 27/02/2015 21:27

Same with the heating companies who do the gas safety checks for landlords. They have a habit of wanting to do a call between 8am and 6pm then when they dont turn up they want you to wait in ANOTHER day and then send shitty letters accusing tenants of not letting them in when they didnt actually even turn up.

Or they STILL turn up to the original appointment after the tenant has changed it well in advance and AGAIN accuse the tenant of denying access when all the tenant did was change the appointments and the call centre assured lied that it had been changed!

DrCoconut · 27/02/2015 21:37

I was told I had to wait in for the DWP visit and keep DS1 at home too or his DLA would stop. I am lucky that I work 4 days a week and persuaded them to move it to a non work day. School were unimpressed but had to suck it up. Agree about various classes, support groups etc not being accessible to working parents. I had a letter about an event to inform about the changes to DLA and another about transition to college. Both mid week, mid day.

MidniteScribbler · 27/02/2015 21:38

I understand the difficulty in trying to get to weekday appointments, as I'm a teacher so time off during work time must be for an absolute emergency, but in my pre-teaching days I worked for an organisation that had to book about 200 appointments per week across the office. It just wasn't feasible to try and call every person, hope they answered their phone (most didn't), or hope they called you back just to personally schedule individual appointment times. Letters were automatically generated, and then if the time was a clash for someone they could ring up and (hopefully politely, though usually not) reschedule manually. It's really difficult to schedule that many appointments in a short space of time, and the pressures on staff to fit in as many as possible (we had a quota we had to reach each week) in a short space of time.

Whippet81 · 27/02/2015 21:49

YANBU at all.

BT told me they would send an engineer anytime within the next 10 days Hmm

Indantherene · 27/02/2015 21:59

YANBU. DD2 has SEN and every appointment is always mid morning. I went on a parenting course that was a morning a week for 6 weeks (very understanding boss and lots of Leave used up) but then they helpfully sent me details of several SEN activities/support groups/coffee mornings all during the day. I can't take any more time off!!!

I had the DWP appointment thing with DS2. IIRC they came after school.

OhFlippityBolax · 27/02/2015 22:11

Yanbu I need to do a pip application but I struggle with forms. The only organisation I can go to for help only opens weekday mornings before midday. Great. Exactly the time I work.

VodkaJelly · 27/02/2015 22:16

I had a phone call from the junior school a few years ago. My son forgot his PE kit and the receptionist was on the phone to me saying about how unhappy the teacher was and i had to bring his kit in now.

She was not impressed when i told her that i was at work and would not be leaving to pick up a PE kit and deliver it to the school. He was 10, missing a PE lesson was not the end of the world.

She repeated several times "so you are not going to bring it in then" to me replying several times "No, i am at work". I am sure my boss would have words if i left to pick up a PE kit, it wasnt an emergency or anything.

OhFlippityBolax · 27/02/2015 22:28

Yes to schools!

I had a call one hour before kick out asking me to bring some calpol in. I asked if it was urgent should I instead collect from school early? 'Oh no Mrs Bolax it's nothing serious mini bolax is just saying they have a bit of a sore throat'

itsmeitscathy · 28/02/2015 15:30

Yes - v annoying. Pain clinic wanted me to attend a 12 week pain management course once a week. I work full time but it was during the day - helpful!

lastnightiwenttomanderley · 28/02/2015 15:51

Your not allowed to be pregnant and working either. Looked into pregnancy yoga, aquanatal etc.and it's all at 10am on a Tuesday...

ragged · 28/02/2015 16:02

I dunno, I'm leaning towards YABU wrt OP's situation. The people offering these services ALSO WORK. They work in usual weekday working hours. Just like you. So that's when they can offer you their services. They can't wait for every kid to be on half term and when your name comes up it comes up.

Yes more notice would be nice. But some of these things have to work to tight time scales, especially when offering public services on a shoe string.

vrtra · 28/02/2015 18:38

Dwp appointeeship visit isn't an identity check. Think about it for more than a second.

cosysocks · 28/02/2015 18:42

I have this with parents evening appointments... 3:45pm
Err what part of the evening is that????

Nellagain · 28/02/2015 18:49

Hmm I'm can see your point having been on the receiving end of that sort of thing myself. Having said that what is the alternative? It's one of the reasons I won't work full time. Life would be unmanageable.
Do we all work across a 7 day shift pattern, because I think that's what would be necessary. Then you get the same issue but differently.

I do think parenting courses and nhs courses could be offered of an evening though. I'm involved with an nhs health education couse and there is a few people not been able to attend due to work.

Unfortunately the commissioners haven't commissioned it for an evening service. Probably due to cost and then a lot would say it is too late to attend.

Smartiepants79 · 28/02/2015 19:00

I agree with ragged.
When do you think these appointments are going to happen if not during working hours? All these other people should just start working from 5-midnight to fit in with your busy schedule? Not all appointments can happen outside of your working hours.
Most of these organisations will do there best to be accommodating but there are limits.
Of course being called up for PE kit and carpool is silly as is parenting courses in the middle of the day but important appointments with other professionals have to happen when that professional is at work.

PuppyMonkey · 28/02/2015 19:00

But if they'd scheduled the home visit in the half term hols, you might have been on MN moaning that you couldn't possibly do it then as you were going away.

needmorespace · 28/02/2015 19:01

As someone who works for a public organisation, I take great exception to your comments op.
When exactly would you like our services to be open to you? Would it be acceptable for me to be working in the evenings and at weekends to suit you? How would it feel if I turned the tables and suggested that you could make the appointments during some of the holiday time that you, as a teacher, have off (which is a lot more than me - even if you do work through half of them).
Most of my family are teaching or leadership in schools and they can often get away earlier once school has ended if need be.
I have two children in school (one with ASD) and I could tear my hair out at the number of appointments I have had to change or not attend because of short notice and ridiculous timings such as 12.30pm.
And as another poster said upthread, parent's evening at 3.45pm? What on earth is that about for working parents? I have to use my leave to accommodate these appointments - which means even less time with my children.
Talk about public sector workers turning against public sector workers.
What sort of special snowflake are you that you get to spend weekends with your children but I can't. Sheesh

Smartiepants79 · 28/02/2015 19:02

I'm a teacher and I would not expect to have schedule a meeting with a parent after about 5:30/6 as that is outside my hours of work. Just as I wouldn't expect to get a GP appointment outside of surgery hours.

Smartiepants79 · 28/02/2015 19:03

Parents evenings are different and can go on til well past 7pm if needed!

BoneyBackJefferson · 28/02/2015 19:04

Posters seem to be forgetting that these people also work and have families, and the only way around this would be to pay people to work the unsociable hours.

Are those complaining prepared to foot the bill?

waterproofteabag · 28/02/2015 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.