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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this taking the piss or not? (Maternity leave)

99 replies

RolyPolierThanThou · 27/02/2015 11:51

I'm going to try to put this as neutrally as I can.

I work for an organisation that has about 120 employees. A woman started working here who, three months into her role and still a trainee, announced she was pregnant. Everyone was really pleased for her and congratulated her but she must surely have been ttc as she took the job, unless it was an accident (which is plausible). But everyone was genuinely happy and excited for her.

Anyway, everyone signed a card and gave her gifts for the baby and she took a year's maternity leave and we were all happy for her. Traineeship normally lasts about 8 months here but because she'd be taking maternity leave she was kept as a trainee right through her maternity leave, with a view to promote upon her return.

She came back from maternity leave and after three months was promoted from trainee to her current role. It was at this point she announced that she was expecting AGAIN. She had basically returned from maternity leave already pregnant! I'm sure this happens, but considering she'd practically joined the organisation pregnant makes this seem suspect.

Anyway, she has now returned from her second full year's maternity leave and guess what - pregnant again. She has told at least one person in our team but it's not yet fully announced.

So is she taking the proverbial or is this just something that happens?

She is in her late thirties so I guess might feel under pressure to have children quickly. It just seems she keeps coming back pregnant and announces it after promotion. The company doesn't offer any enhanced maternity packages (only the statutory minimum) but people have been pushing management for a better maternity package, but her case is hardly going to sway their minds.

So what do you think? Completely reasonable and just part of life or a scourge on women's rights in the workplace?

OP posts:

WastingMyYoungYears · 27/02/2015 13:38

Vivenne, if they negatively discriminate against women the next time they're employing someone, they'd be breaking the law.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 27/02/2015 13:39

Oh sorry just seen your update.

Congratulations.

PrimalLass · 27/02/2015 13:41

Next time they'll employ a man.

I wouldn't. Also, there's a huge untapped labour resource out there in 'returning mums', i.e. mums who are trying to get back into work. OK they might want to do part time, but I'd hire someone who'd had good work experience but had taken a few years out over a graduate any day.

GahBuggerit · 27/02/2015 13:46

op people will say its no problem on here but irl i suspect the reaction will be different.

butso what? youre entitled to have children and take the mat leave. it will prob causemassive eyebrow raising but it will be forgotten soon enough. good luck with the babies :)

dancingwithmyselfandthecat · 27/02/2015 13:54

"next time they'll employ a man".

Is this because all men are intrinsically reliable, company-loyal and highly skilled at their jobs? And never do anything equivalently or more disruptive, such as develop long-term illnesses, lie, steal, sexually harrass other employees, spread rumours or steal data and clients to set up their own companies.

Yes, repeated mat leaves are annoying and expensive - but so are many, many aspects of people management - and not all of them can be planned for like a mat leave! Why is it that this one thing which is so far unique to women is always brought out as as a justifiable reason for employers to be discriminatory?

Huge congrats to the OP

Annbag · 27/02/2015 13:58

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request.

Totality22 · 27/02/2015 13:59

As someone who had a year off on ML then exactly a year to the day of going back went on ML for another year, I did feel bad I'd been with my co. 12 years when I went on leave first time round though

I work for a male dominated software company and I was the 3rd person in company's 20 year history to go on maternity leave. I was also the only one that returned!! The other women in my co. have grown up children / childless by choice

I felt terribly guilty announcing a second pregnancy when I'd only been back for 7 months but I bent over backwards to make sure I didn't inconvenience anyone. In a year I had 2.5 days off sick (1 day for toddler, 1 day when I was ill at 36w and half a day when my cat went missing) which was much less than anyone else in my team... I also worked until I was 38w and covered the festive period and would take my lunch hour to cover antenatal appointments [office is just 15 mins from hospital!]

Its a shame women are made to feel so guilty. People kept referring to me having 'another year off' - because it's the same as a sabbatical isn't it?

I realise it's a hassle for the employer and for colleagues who have to pick up the slack this time I had my replacement in two months before I left so she was fully trained before I left but I agree with posters who say its a fact of life.

sosix · 27/02/2015 14:02

Its fine

Viviennemary · 27/02/2015 14:36

So this person (whether real or fictional) has been with the company three years and hasn't even completed training yet although seems to have been given the credit for it. Whatever the law says she's not much good from the company's point of view. Because she's simply not there. And I think 12 years with a company and then taking two maternity leaves in quick succession is a far cry from what's described by the OP.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 27/02/2015 14:52

It is your right, op. I started ttc a year after starting, and left on my 1st mat leave after 18 months in the job. The day I returned was the day I found out I was pg again, so I was back 8 months before having another year "off". Not exactly a holiday, though, is it?! Oh and I was promoted in those 8 months.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 27/02/2015 14:55

Like others have said, noone knows how long it will take to conceive, so you cant put off trying forever. In my case it happened straight away, twice!

knittingirl · 27/02/2015 14:57

Vivienne but she was at work throughout her first and second pregnancies, which could total 14-16 months depending on when she went on mat leave, so has certainly worked for more than the 8 month training period - not sure how you mean she hasn't completed her training yet.

Original poster

RolyPolierThanThou · 27/02/2015 15:01

vivienne the training period was completed. There is no hard and fast rule about how long traineeship lasts. Looking around me, it seems to be around 8-9 months. I was at the company 10 months before going on maternity leave (I got pg 5 weeks after starting) and remained a trainee during that time (presumably the delay being because I was soon to start maternity leave).

On my return I remained a trainee fire a further 3 months, presumably to ensure I hadn't forgotten all I'd learned while away.

Once traineeship was lifted I felt able to tell management about my pregnancy, as I worried they might delay things (and the 2k pay rise) of I spoke up sooner. So I did complete my training just in 10 + 3 months, versus the more typical 8-9. Overall I worked 10 months and 8 months between each maternity leave. This time it'll be more like 7

OP posts:

TheAnswerIsYes · 27/02/2015 15:34

Congratulations. I don't think it is taking the piss and you are well within your rights, however, from experience people do get the hump about this sort of thing and can cause bad feeling.

I started a new job and then 4 weeks in discovered I was pregnant. As an aside, it was a total surprise as I didn't think I could get pregnant and we had been discussing trying IVF in a year or so). I had conceived before starting there so no smp I was only entitled to maternity allowance. I was very ill during the pregnancy and was signed off for about 6 weeks (total) during the worst of it. When I went back to work people were funny with me and a colleague said that people had been talking about me taking the piss. It really put a downer on my time there and when I went on maternity leave I didn't even get a card or any contact when I had my baby. I had fully intended to return to work but because of their attitude I hated the thought of going back. I waited until the year's maternity leave was almost up to maximise my accrued annual leave and I gave notice. They were really annoyed about having to pay my accrued leave to me but by that point I didn't care if they thought I was taking the piss. It is a shame as if they were more supportive I would been back and it wouldn't have cost them anything (as I was term time only).

Saying that, I was also employed part time by a different employer when I discovered I was pregnant and he was a cunt about it too. I had worked there over 4 years at that point so he had no reason to be. I didn't return to that work either but made sure I received my full entitlement to accrued leave before I have notice.

I'm sure people would say I hurt the cause and no wonder people want to employ men but I don't think that women are to blame. If your employer is a cunt then they're a cunt.

BumWad · 27/02/2015 15:36

Congratulations OP.
Good for you! I am slightly jealous

Cliffdiver · 27/02/2015 15:46

I don't think it's unreasonable at all, clever planning if anything .

Jessica147 · 27/02/2015 15:55

Roly, if they delayed lifting the traineeship because of your pregnancy / mat leave, I'm pretty sure they were breaking the law. It is not okay to use pregnancy as a reason to not promote someone.

MummySara · 27/02/2015 15:58

I was made redundant whilst on mat leave and am not job hunting. One of my interview questions was: Where do you see yourself in 5years time. I started to response to the question with the usual working on skills to better my career, but the interviewer cut my answer short by asking they wanted at least a years commitment, did I intend to leave after a year. I thought this was a strange question as my first job was 3 years and my second job was 10 years!!! And responsed to that question by asking him to relook at my CV. I left the interview confused than realized he might be implying am I going to get the job and fall pregnant?? I know it will be illegal for him to ask me directly, and know that this is done by some. HOWEVER, personally I can just about handle one 10month old, let alone, 2 or 3!!!!

To the point in hand, do I blame this lady for doing what she did, as a 34 year old with one child. I envy her. But for her colleagues who have to share the workload, for little reward its annoying. If I can turn back the clock, I would have had children rather than focus on my career that way I would have at least been entitled to full maternity pay and leave!!

MissDuke · 27/02/2015 16:02

Huge congrats!

I got stick in a previous job due to maternity leave. Basically, a promotion opportunity was advertised externally, there were 6 posts and 400 applied, including many of my then colleagues. There was a problem with the recruitment and it ended up being delayed, so by the time the selection days came round, it was nearly a year after it was advertised. By this point, I was 7 months pregnant. Anyway, I ended up getting the job, and started a few days before my maternity leave commenced. The posts were advertised as full time, so my maternity pay was based on the full time rate of my new post - despite me having never worked there full time (I had worked there for about 3 years, always part time). I also accrued holidays accordingly, and used the leave so that I returned part time but continued to receive full time pay for a few months, when I then returned to part time hours. I was talked about for years after! I was even told by one colleague that I only got the job because they were afraid to say no to a pregnant woman Didn't bother me in the slightest to be honest. Like I was going to refuse to take the promotion or maternity pay for fear of upsetting anyone!

slightlybonkers · 27/02/2015 16:08

Why does it bother you? Are you intending not to take maternity leave? Would you put off having kids until you'd been with an employer a specified length of time?

Think you answered your own question when you said "is it because she's in her late 30's and feels under pressure to have her children quickly."

sosix · 27/02/2015 16:09

Congratulations.

TweeStuff · 27/02/2015 16:10

OP, I'm glad you are pleased with the responses but I bet your colleagues are thinking differently. However, I wouldn't worry about what they are thinking. It's just they way it is.

Enjoy you babies. I had mine very close apart. It was a bit at times but great fun.

countessmarkyabitch · 27/02/2015 16:13

Completely support you and yuor legal right to do so. Congrats etc.
Have to admit that I'd be morto in your position though I'd still do it if it suited me andmy family.

Apricota · 27/02/2015 16:15

I would be cross......could not show it but would not want to have many in my company like this. It impacts upon everyone. It's tough. I am a mother and full time business owner.

angeltulips · 27/02/2015 16:17

As a manager I would definitely roll my eyes but would keep my feelings to myself

I think taking the full year off 3 times in 3 years is taking the proverbial. I would expect a shorter time on subsequent mat leaves - you don't HAVE to take a full year off - and very few people I work with take the full year anyway.

But ofc I wouldn't say anything.

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