...to think we as wives and mums deserve a treat or a day off, lets say at least once a month, to enjoy and relax ourselves shopping, eating out, visiting ....

[btfly2]

a friend, museum or art gallery, spending some money on clothes, books or any treat you like and deciding to put on my diary as an appointment that cannot be cancelled. What do you think?...

Wind your collective necks in - you can't possibly know (only suspect) that the poster is a journo / product placing / whatever. OP could be genuine but has expressed themselves inexpertly due to English not being her first language (as she said)

Report the thread if you have doubts.

Oh stop being so touchy everyone. I for one do think that parents have less downtime day to day, especially if they have small kids so can't easily leave the house to pursue hobbies etc in the evenings. I had a very rare day off work today when kids were in childcare and it was jeffing AWESOME. Lie-in, shops, pub lunch with DH who was wfh, daytime telly and wine in the afternoon. Just like old times!

I think it does everyone good to spend a bit of time regularly doing something they love. I suppose it's especially rejuvenating for people who generally subsume their own needs because they are caring for others, but that isn't restricted to "wives and mothers".

I think the way to manage it more consistently is to to things that involve other people or tickets, that way it is harder to back out. We have a rule that once it's on the calendar it happens, I wouldn't put shopping or wandering round town by myself on there, but meeting friends or going to some sort of event I would.

TBF the OP has clarified that she's not a hack or placer so I apologise for being rude at the end of my post but I stand firm on Venice - hardest place on the feet!

It's genuine! please believe me!

GiddyOnZackHunt got it right for me, that's what I wanted to say.

Oh dear, how embarrassing, I didn't know my English was so poor anyway I think there is no need to write nasty comments. Forget about the post.

You're fine, btfly2, it's just that we are a cynical bunch and spoiling for a fight. I think that the image of women who are defined as wives and mothers just gets people's backs up, especially when coupled with stereotypical activities like shopping and "pampering" at spas. It feels patronising, that's all.

If you'd phrased it a bit differently (and maybe posted in Chat rather than AIBU), like, say, "Don't you think we all need a chance to do things just for us sometimes- what would you like to do if you could choose?" then you might not have got such a defensive response.

Please don't let it put you off posting though.

Your English is infinitely superior to my ability to communicate in a second language Btfly2!

How old are your children? I think that makes a massive difference.

When mine were young I would just go out without them at the weekend, or to the gym / run in the evening. As long as the time off is fair for both parents.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf
"I think it's a post sponsored by Galaxy. Or maybe Boots."

(sorry op but it is funny).

...or maybe Secret Escapes? Shhh!

I don't do this......I would feel guilty! And to be honest I just love spending time with my family. I do occasionally do things for myself, life grab a coffee and cake or little treats like that, and that's enough for me at the moment.

Well as a second language your posting is fine OP, but I stand by my point that in any language using the Latin alphabet, sentences still begin with a capital letter and end with a full stop.

I didn't mean to upset you, but your posting came over like either journalism or advertising and that kind of thing does get pounced on here.

If you didn't mean to upset her CuttedUpPear, then what kind of reaction were you going for with your spectacularly condescending post?

Oh well, yes, too many defensive responses, my fault I guess...

I dont know if I should cry or laugh but definitely I have learnt a lot of new phrases and vocabulary tonight ha ha!

Thanks to the ones that praised my English.

About punctuation: many times I dont follow the perfect rules for writing when posting because laziness and because Im not writing a book but I know it would be more appropriate, sorry.

Yes, I will keep posting but I will think it twice before to do it ha ha!

Good, I'm glad you're staying. We're not bad old sticks really.

What Boffers said.

I meant to be spectacularly condescending hmc. Because it looked like a journo posting.

Hi OP
Well I disagree with BOF, many of us are terrible old sticks

And you'll see that interlopers and journalists get routed out pretty quickly.
I thought you were one, hence my reaction. Glad we've got that cleared up, no offence meant, your subject matter came over as slightly strange.

And posts biased against men in general aren't tolerated.
There are quite a few men on here and their presence is welcomed.

Maybe have a look round the boards and join a discussion to get the feel of the place.

cant u do that anyway

Oh and it's absolutely fine to swear on here OP, unlike many other forums.
However swearing directly at other posters isn't really good form.

Actually I do belong in exactly this category. I'm a busy working mum and DP (not DW) and I've recently been trying to take a day once a month to go for a coffee with a friend / to the shops to ponder fabric and nail polish in peace (I do like shops, so sue me) / to the garden centre on my own, or just a day or half a for sewing - those are my things.

Still I can do that because I'm freelance (even then I often can't do it because there isn't time, but occasionally I can). DP can't because he has a job where it's very hard to just "take a day". Other parents often can't because there is no one to take over the childcare, or they can't afford the time off. I think the OP comes across as a bit insensitive because it suggests you "deserve" it so you should just do it. It also suggests you have some money to spend on any treat you like, and a lot of people don't.

Hi CdPear,

I know, that's the problem when trying to express feelings or a subject matter clearly in different languages, many times it looks slightly strange! You cannot imagine how hard can be, it's double the work when you have to translate but Im always eager to improve my second language. I must admit I felt scared ha ha but....I love flowers, so apologies accepted.

Ps. never meant to be a post against men, what a misunderstanding!