To speak to my friend's husband about him getting a job?

[csivillage]

My friend's dh is running his own print company from home - he gets jobs and outsources the print (as he doesn't have a print workshop). Except over the past 5 years this has reduced to pretty much nothing and he is bringing in less than a couple of hundred a month.

He has always been in the print industry and used to own his own printer workshop, with all the machines etc. 20-25 years ago he was making a fortune, but he lost the business about 10 years ago and with it his house.

My friend, his wife, works 30 hours a week term time as a dinner lady and brings in about £600 a month. They have 2 children. They are struggling financially. They get a bit of benefits but are 10s of thousands in debt and she is cracking under the pressure.

They pay their rent every 6 months in advance and the last 2 times they haven't had the money and have borrowed first time off his parents and 2nd time off her parents. Neither parents have been paid back yet and the next lot of rent is due in March - they don't have the money.

Their income is: £600 - her salary, £300 - his income, £400 - various benefits. They have spent all the income but not saved for the rent.

Together we looked on line and there are quite a few jobs working as an employee as a print salesman earning basic of £40k plus bonus. We printed off the details of a few of them and she gave them to her dh.

He said that he couldn't work for anyone and it would look strange selling another company when he has his own print company too. My friend said that his company is pretty much dead so there wouldn't be a conflict of interest.

He binned the job details we printed off. She has come to me in tears. She feels his pride is letting the family down. He has asked her to stop her job and get a full time office job where she would bring in more money. He would continue with his 'company' so the children would have him around after school and holidays etc.

Should I approach him to tell him how my friend feels? Should I sensitivily suggest that he is letting his family down by not getting a job and accepting his company is over and he needs to work with a proper wage?

It's applaudable that you care so much about your friend, but by the same token. It's none of your business. No one will thank you your friend included will thank you for opening your mouth

csivillage

So why is it solely his responsibility to earn more, if your friend is unhappy with the situation she can also earn more.

You know far far too much about their income, benefits, lives etc. It's weird how over-involved you are in this.
It could not be less of your business.

I'm not sure if he will get an employed job - but there were lots around at about £40k and he does have 30+ years of experience in the industry, whether he has worked as his own boss/own company or not I think he stands a good chance of getting a full time employed job.

However, it would mean he has to hit targets and get up and work the standard 7-8 hour day. He isn't used to it at all.

My friend won't push the conversation with her husband. She doesn't want to put pressure on him. However, I also know that she feels it is his job to earn more. I think she feels that if she were to get a full time job, he would feel even less like getting a full time job.

It annoys me that he relies upon her, as though it isn't up to him at all. I think she feels the same way but hasn't been as specific.