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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be peeved pension contributions are disregarded as income for child maintenance purposes.

73 replies

adventuretime11 · 26/02/2015 10:40

Just that really. Seriously considering leaving my not so dh. Worried about being able to afford split despite his high income. Maintenance will cover mortgage but couldn't afford to buy him out. Also not sure lender would even give me a mortgage. With 3 young dc I will probably have to sahm for another 3 years.
He pays 400 per month into his pension which will not be counted for child maintenance purposes. Aibu to think this is unfair.

OP posts:
Tobyjugg · 26/02/2015 10:57

The theory is that private pension provision needs to be encouraged to reduce future costs on the State pension. Basically, the needs of the State trump yours. You join a (very) long line of people who have been stitched up by the British Govt.

VodkaJelly · 26/02/2015 11:01

But on the other hand you would be entitled to a portion of his pension on your divorce, so him paying in only makes your share bigger come retirement age.

Original poster
adventuretime11 · 26/02/2015 11:06

I have no problem with him paying into a pension but he has recently joined a workplace one but has not reduced original contribution. Than moans we have no money because I spend tok much on groceries. Get the feeling that if we split he will bump it up further.

OP posts:
littleleftie · 26/02/2015 11:10

Have you seen a solicitor? You can either get a pension sharing order, so you get a proportion of his pension, or you can offset that against a higher percentage of house equity. I chose to do the latter.

You can probably get a mesher order if you cannot buy him out and cannot downsize. That way his name has to stay on the mortgage but home is for your use only until eldest child finishes full time education. Then you sell and split equity 50/50, 60/40, 70/30, whatever has been agreed.

You really need legal advice so your ducks are all in a row.

BathtimeFunkster · 26/02/2015 11:13

YANBU

Saving up for retirement comes after you have covered you obligations to your dependants.

Can the RP put all their money into a pension and then claim tax credits?

littleleftie · 26/02/2015 12:22

bathtime anyone claiming tax credits is supposed to use their gross income less any pension contributions, but I don't know if there is a limit on this.

Perhaps someone more knowledgeable can advise?

SurlyCue · 26/02/2015 12:27

It is possible to work as a parent of small DCs. As a lone parent you'd probably be better off working than not. and it keeps me sane

SoonToBeSix · 26/02/2015 12:27

No limit , you can pay as much as you want into a pension to increase tax credits.

BathtimeFunkster · 26/02/2015 12:37

Thanks little :)

Original poster
adventuretime11 · 26/02/2015 16:08

that is interesting re pension. Think I better start one.

OP posts:
hamptoncourt · 26/02/2015 16:20

Bear in mind he will have just as much right to a share of your pension pot as you do his.

Original poster
adventuretime11 · 26/02/2015 16:38

mine will be tiny comparitavely.

OP posts:
PtolemysNeedle · 26/02/2015 16:47

YABU. If he will be able to cover half of the children's direct costs, then it makes no difference where the rest of his money goes.

If he wouldn't pay enough to provide half of all their direct costs, the the problem would be that he couldn't afford three children, not that he pays too much into his pension.

Tobyjugg · 26/02/2015 16:52

See a solicitor and ask about a pension sharing order.

18yearstooold · 26/02/2015 17:06

My ex bumped up his pension contributions to avoid paying more for the DC -he only pays £140 a month for 2

He's paying out the same amount each month, just choosing not to spend it on supporting our DCs out of spite it sucks that he's allowed to do that

Original poster
adventuretime11 · 27/02/2015 22:45

He can definately afford to pay half their direct costs with his 4100 net per month. I am guessing he will want to pay bare min maintenance of about 830 I believe according to cslculstor. I will be providing for dc by caring for them 24/7 bar perhaps 1 o/n every 2nd week and will inintially have to rely on income support and tax credits until I find full time work.

OP posts:
turquoiseamethyst · 27/02/2015 22:56

It is not always possible or indeed easy to work as a single parent to young children!

At any rate OP - I sympathise! Mine was the 1000 post thread about my Shock at how little STBXH will have to contribute to his children in comparison to his salary, although it looks like it should be more, now.

SurlyCue · 28/02/2015 00:38

Unless there are extra care needs for one/all the DC then there will be some way which OP can generate an income for herself.

No-one promised it would be easy.

holidaysarenice · 28/02/2015 00:49

So long as he provides for his children he can spend his money how he likes.

Just as you can spend the maintenance how you like, or the tax credits or benefits you can claim.

It's like saying your maintain ended should count in a benefit claim. It's just not how it works.

SoonToBeSix · 28/02/2015 01:59

Adventure you income will be approx £1835 a month with child maintenance , tax credits , child benefit and income support. You can also claim HB on top.
I know it's less than half of ex income but it's still a decent amount.

PtolemysNeedle · 28/02/2015 11:06

£830 a month is plenty in maintenance. That money isn't intended to provide for you as well, you still have to provide for yourself and provide financially for your children even if you are looking after them.

SurlyCue · 28/02/2015 11:47

Would OP be able to get HB with the house being mortgaged rather than rented?

SoonToBeSix · 28/02/2015 12:12

Surly interest only.

turquoiseamethyst · 28/02/2015 12:17

Surly - HOW - if the children are preschool and you cannot earn enough to put them in nursery!?

I have been playing with this for a while and unfortunately have had to conclude there's absolutely no feasible way I can work for some time.

Purplepoodle · 28/02/2015 16:23

It's what happens. Most people can't keep the same level of lifestyle and they have to downgrade housing when they split

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