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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take my 12 year old out of school for 18 mths to HE....

104 replies

Reddragon116 · 25/02/2015 14:36

and then send him back for GCSE's - he is board rigid with the lessons in year 8 and starting to get stress migraines. Does what they cover in years 8/9 lead on to what they do at GCSE level ?

OP posts:
GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 25/02/2015 14:39

I have a 12 year old and I have no idea about your GCSE question. Apart from that, I think it's a fantastic idea. I can imagine it's a pretty scary decision to make, but there are so many things that could go right.

MagratsHair · 25/02/2015 14:41

Can't help you with the HE aspect, although there is a dedicated board if you wish to talk about it further & don't get much luck in here.

If you do take him out how oversubscribed is his current school? If he can't get back into the same school how would he cope with starting a completely new one when he has GCSE's to concentrate on?

Also have you spoken to the current school about the issues? What have they recommended? :)

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 25/02/2015 14:42

I would post on the home schooling board here, and have a look at the Education Otherwise web site. They have loads of info and resource links and helpful stuff, and message boards where you can talk to people who have actually started homeschooling.
They can tell you how to go about GCSEs or other exams if you want to; you can enter him as an independent student without him being enrolled in a school at all, it's quite possible.
I took my no2 son out of school when he was 12 and he never went back, or did GCSEs.
He started college at 15 on an access type course, and then did a two year catering course, and got some certificates in various vocational and "classroom" subjects, and has worked as a chef ever since.
There are loads of posibilities apart from the straightforward "School - GCSE - FE" path, but you need to do your research and work out exactly what's involved, and what's best for your son.
It helped us that my son has always wanted to be a chef and never wanted to do anything else so he knew what he was aiming for iyswim.
Good Luck Grin

cailindana · 25/02/2015 14:44

No, they don't actually do anything at school and teaching doesn't require any expertise - you can easily fill in the jobs of a teams of qualified teachers all on your own.

Good luck.

GrindelwaldBeckons · 25/02/2015 14:57

Won't he be 'bored rigid' with no friends at home?
(might be an idea not to teach him spellings though Wink)

BrokenCircleBreakdown · 25/02/2015 15:02

I'd take him out but I HE my youngest two so I'm biased.
There's masses of info on the internet now which makes home edding much easier, also the HE community seems to be rapidly growing in the uk-there's several groups v close to us (Kent/East Sussex) so lots of RL support too. Good luck

BrokenCircleBreakdown · 25/02/2015 15:05

Lots of facebook groups too

eg

learning under the trees
mumsnet home education

mytartanscarf · 25/02/2015 15:07

I firmly believe everything I know is in spite of rather than because of school.

Having said that I am not so sure about HE at secondary level. The academics don't concern me but the social aspects do.

I am also wary of 'bored' children. A lot of school and life is boring!

Stinkersmum · 25/02/2015 15:07

Do your research first. If you want to prepare your son for GCSEs, home schooling is a bit more than just trips to museums and adding up in supermarkets..... His learning will be limited to your knowledge or ability to learn quickly and in depth.

IceBeing · 25/02/2015 15:11

cailindana I think teaching 30 kids of mixed ability at the same time, while under pressure from ever changing cirriculum demands probably requires tonnes of training and expertise.

Teaching one kid with no pressure from the government....not so much.

TheFecklessFairy · 25/02/2015 15:12

Home educate by all means - just make sure you are teaching him correctly though: bored not board.

Sparklingbrook · 25/02/2015 15:17

Does he find every single lesson boring? Confused What is so boring about Year 8?

What has the GP suggested about the migraines?

BrokenCircleBreakdown · 25/02/2015 15:18

Maybe OP is dyslexic-doesnt mean she won't make an excellent inspiring "teacher".
John Holt's "Teach your own" is a good read Red as a starting point

bruffin · 25/02/2015 15:25

Ken robinson really doesnt know what he is talking about. I would feel i have failed my children if I had had to resort to HE.

mytartanscarf · 25/02/2015 15:27

Just smile patiently Broken :)

morethanpotatoprints · 25/02/2015 15:33

Cailin

The whole point of H.ed is to do the opposite of what you describe above.
You don't need all that to support learning, quite often the nc has no place at home, so your point is irrelevant.

I think if your ds knows the subjects he is likely to choose at GCSE then you can concentrate on these primarily, at the same sort of level as KS3.

There is so much on the internet, lots of free resources and websites dedicated to learning, at all ages and stages.

I would check out any groups that are in your area, get in touch and maybe visit and see what type of thing they do.

manicinsomniac · 25/02/2015 15:35

It wouldn't be my initial reaction to the problem, certainly.

First I would want to know the school's take on why he is bored and what can be done about it? Is he struggling to access the curriculum and in need of support? Is he very able and in need of more challenge? Are the school doing anything to tackle either these potential obstacles? Does he need to be more involved in sport/music/drama or something? Does he have a good social circle? Is he being bullied?

I would explore all those avenues before I even considered taking a 12 year old out of school.

SallyMcgally · 25/02/2015 15:36

We took our son out of Year 9 a month ago after 9 months of sustained and widespread bullying, and a couple of years of widespread bullying. It's hard work. We're spending a lot of time making sure he does things outside the house like youth groups/ drama etc, and I am nervous about ensuring that we don't let him down educationally. Having said that both DH and I have teaching qualifications, and between us can cover a lot of the curriculum, and we're getting a tutor for maths. But his maths teacher offered to send us and then mark the maths test the rest of the group were doing just before half term, and his level has gone from an F to a C. So individual teaching, and removing the impediment of unhappiness, can pay off. But it is a huge decision.

morethanpotatoprints · 25/02/2015 15:37

OP, your ds will not be limited to what you can learn or teach, what a load of rubbish.
I'm useless at maths, but dd is doing fine. If I can't manage I ask somebody who can, but most of the time she is able to read the teaching notes and examples herself and get on with it independently.
Your son will manage fine and how he decides to learn and the support you give to him has absolutely nothing at all to do with your ability.

Seeline · 25/02/2015 15:41

Why is he so bored at school? Have you spoken to his teachers - how is he doing at school. Does he need extra help, or more challenging work, if so what are they doing about it?
I would encourage him to join some extra curricular clubs.
I would also encourage him to have some out-of-school activities/hobbies, and work on his social skills. How about widening his knowledge/experience in some of his school subjects with weekend trips/visits to museums etc?
At that age, I think the social aspect of school is just as important as the academic side. HE might not be able to help with that.
AS others have said, I would also be worried that there may not be a place for him at his school in a couple of years time.

SoupDragon · 25/02/2015 15:43

A friend HE her son at a similar age and he hated it. I would worry that it doesn't solve the problem but create more instead.
Why is your DSs bored?

Is a different school an option?

SallyMcgally · 25/02/2015 15:43

But I don't feel I'm failing my son, bruffin. I'd feel I was failing him far more to keep forcing him into an environment where he was acutely unhappy. He's going to go on a French exchange for a week next month, he's going to Berlin for 3 days with his father both to think about second world war history and practise German, he's read three times the number of set texts than he would otherwise have done in English, his maths level has gone up. He's following an online course on Shakespeare, going to the theatre this weekend to see a Susan Hill adaptation, next weekend to see Macbeth, has written an essay on Martin Luther King prior to seeing Selma and saw Testament of Youth as a way of consolidating his learning about the First World War. This week he has met with other children to go swimming, at two different church youth groups and has 3.5 hours at drama school this weekend. How am I failing him? Thank you for the suggestion that I am though.

SoupDragon · 25/02/2015 15:43

What does your DS think about being HE?

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 25/02/2015 15:45

Sally that sounds fantastic.