AIBU to take my 12 year old out of school for 18 mths to HE....

[Reddragon116]

and then send him back for GCSE's - he is board rigid with the lessons in year 8 and starting to get stress migraines. Does what they cover in years 8/9 lead on to what they do at GCSE level ?

What makes you think he will be any less bored when he goes back at GCSE?
The school will want to know his level for sets for some subjects, and whether the subject is a good fit for him this could take up precious time in the two years for GCSE- he will have to adjust to how secondary schools work at a higher level than Year 7, effectively the schools are training pupils to be ready for their exams.
Some GCSE courses can start early so Year 9 not 10.

I am not against Home Ed, when it is a good fit, but I am not sure from your brief post whether just because Year 8 is a bit dull that Home Ed for years 8/9 is a good idea.

bruffin

We too would have failed if we had left dd in school, she just didn't want to be there and had her own plans for her future.
Leaving her there was not an option, although the school was lovely and we had no issues.

You're not sally.

Here is what I would 'learn' in a typical days 'teaching'. (We lived in the south of France.)

I learned French (obviously!)
I learned about gardening, about flowers and plants and the seasons from helping my dad in the garden.
My dad would talk to me all the time about insects and birds and plants.
I would read constantly. I learned everything I know about how to read and write just from reading.
I learned about history, Greek myths and legends, how to speak basic Latin, the natural world.
Bible stories through Sunday school.
I had a book just filled with maps and would pore over them. I used to create collages of places I wanted to travel to from travel agents' brochures.
One wall of my bedroom was covered in information about the oceans. Another wall was about the Middle ages!
By the time I was 11 I had read ten Shakespeare plays independently. I'd been to see them at the theatre. I'd been to the ballet, zoo, museums, national trust parks.

How can anyone say I wasn't learning every second of that? People are so closed minded!

I don't think YABU. It's something we have done before and would do again.

There are plenty of options for socialising outside of school in clubs etc and it's a lot less 'forced' ie. you can mix with people of different ages who you actually have something in common with rather than just being bundled all together because you happen to be the same age. You can also cover the subjects much more quickly one to one so they have more time for 'free learning'.

Difficult to comment much further until the OP has had chance to reply to the questions....

mytartanscarf

Ken is awesome, true fact.

Sitting in a classroom with an adult telling you stuff, then being herded round a large building to do that again 6-8 times a day, with the same group of people, of the same age, day in day out is not the only way to socialise, learn and be educated, it really, really isn't. I despair of the closed mindedness of people who really believe that's the only way.

I'd address why he is bored with the school first. If you intend to make HE a short term thing, then going back for GCSEs might be a problem, particuarly if at that point you expect him to just slip back into a school system, into friendship groups he's not been part of for a couple of years, and suddenly not be bored anymore...

It does seem a bit strange that the complaints are that he's bored but also stressed, is the work too easy or too difficult? Is it the way he's being taught, or what he's being taught? If you are going to slip back into the school system at year 10, then you do need to cover the same stuff, are you confident you can do it in a non-boring way?

HE means as well that one of you will have to be a SAHP to be there for him, you cant use childcare for a 12 year old and you can't leave him all day while you go to work. Would you both be better off long term if the one who would have been at home working and using that wage to pay for private school that might push him a bit more to avoid him being bored?

Thanks goodbye! mytartanscarf - your childhood sounds lovely! (and v erudite!)

tartan your "typical" day sounds wonderful, just the sort of childhood I would like my boys to have. You lucky thing!

I have HE'd my dc at various ages during their lives.

It can really work. But you need to put in the effort with regard to socialisation. There are masses of Home Ed groups who are all doing lots of activities so the child should not feel isolated. Go on lots of outings. An awful lot of learning is done by chatting together as you go. Use the internet for resources

My DC never felt lonely, I made sure of that. They can still go to scouts, guides, and all the extra things school children do.

As long as you are prepared to take the time and commit yourself to their education, which in our case had included GCSE's then you cannot fail your child.

oh yes and definately check if it will be possible to return your DS to the state system at year 10. If you might not get a place, or not at a school you want, then do think if you are prepared to go through GCSEs as well HEing. That's a 4 year commitment.

Set against that, many private schools do have a 13+ intake, so if you could afford it, an option, or put him in for scholorships, or in areas with private schools that take from 13, the state schools often lose a few pupils at that point, so an over subscribed school at year 7 can have places in year 10.

The GCSE's don't need to be a 4 year commitment. You can do them as slowly or quickly as you like. One of ours took 5 months from buying the book to passing the exam. We cut out key stage 3 as is your choice so went straight into GCSE's at 12. One by one. It is entirely up to you. There are no legal requirements as to how you do it and you do not need to follow the national curriculum.

One of mine went back to school, another chose to do A levels at home.

Also you don't have to even think about sitting down from 9 til 3.30 or whenever monday to friday. We rarely did more than 2 hours formal work per day.

The same child returned to school, finished some more GCSE's and took A Levels which he passed so it certainly never had any effect on him.

I honestly don't understand it when people get so horrified at the idea that there is a life beyond school, and that exposure to that life aids learning.

I am glad I attended some schooling, although I didn't go much - used to truant! - but only as a sort of cultural reference "school days" sort of thing.

If I had a child, ideally I'd want to HE until he or she was ready for juniors.

I think HE has it's place but surely it's a lot to take on because he's bored. Won't he be bored with you teaching him...and won't he push the boundaries more because it's you teaching him.

I think it's a dangerous time to start HE personally, research it fully and make sure you go into this with your eyes open, it's an important time educationally, don't fuck it all up just because he is bored.

If it doesn't work out will you be able to get him back into a good school?

Loofah, no, but you do have to have an adult not working, committed to being at home with him (or taking him out and about to groups), dedicate your life to their education for 4 years, even if it's not soild 4 years of teaching.

It might not a problem if you are committed to being a SAHM until they are grown up/not working again, but if not, that's a big choice to make. Basically, once you've gone down the road of removing your child from state education and not using a private school, then you can't be certain you can say it's just 18 months, some children will slip back into the education system easily, not all will at 14, it's a tricky age, and I would say if the OP was going to remove him, then do think about not returning to state schools (unless he wants to) until post 16. Or at least it being something to consider.

Oh I see what you mean, yes absolutely you must have a stay at home parent who is totally committed to it. We were fortunate because mine were privately educated after HE so didn't have to fight for a place which is something that must be borne in mind if you do intend to go back into the state system

No school will save a place, and quite rightly so. It will be take whatever is on offer and if that doesn;t suit then be prepared to continue HE

Depending on your job you don't necessarily have to stay at home. My DS sometimes comes in with me, and I meet with him at various points in the day and give him work to go off and do. I might spend my lunch-hour with him, marking what's he's done, and looking at some maths etc. I might have to make up some extra time in the evening, but the days he comes in with me work out pretty well. While I teach he reads, or does exercises of some kind. Sometimes he goes off to the cinema to see something educational [he watches a load of trash too, but that would be at the weekend.] Sometimes he stays home with his Dad and learns there.

Sally I wouldn't think that those things are exclusive to HE though? Trips abroad, to the theatre, having the opportunity to mix with different friends outside school are all things which can be achieved while a child is in mainstream education.

You know your son best OP, but I would be wary of a child who just announces 'bored' and doesn't seem motivated to find a way past it. Now admittedly what I know about HE could be written on the back of a postage stamp, but surely there is an element of self-motivation required?

We've just started home ed although my DCs are younger.

But I was withdrawn from school for a bit before my GCSEs (very different reason though) and as I was very self motivated I still did well. If he likes the idea and is willing to study at home, then it's definitely worth a shot!

FWIW my DCs are already making home ed friends, if you look around there may be loads going on.

AIBU was an incredibly silly choice of board for your post though :o :o

Well, I always think you need a willing student to HE. SallyMcgally's ds obviously is extremely willing. Most dcs are not. If someone is bored at school, why would they suddenly not be bored at home? What happens when you say, "Look, we've got to do this Science," and ds says "No, it's boring," you're going to have a daily battle to prise him away from the XBox.

I must admit I have a rosy view of HEing my dcs and skipping off to uncrowded museums and doing nature walks, but then reality dawns and I know that I just couldn't keep up the enthusiasm and that there would be a lot of History and English and other subjects... not so much. Plus I can imagine it being 12 noon and the dcs would be snoring in bed and not racing downstairs to make working models of traction engines.

No - they're not exclusive to HE. He was doing a lot of that before. But I just wanted to show that a HEdded child isn't necessarily being cut off from socialising, and that the time you're not in school can be used to very valuable effect. It's not necessarily a decision I wanted to make for DS, and I hope DS2 will stay in school and not need HEdding, but I do object to the suggestion that I've failed my son, and wanted to show that in a month of not going to school, he's actually done a lot, and we've planned quite a lot more for him. By the time you cut out the subjects he wouldn't have carried on with at GCSE, and got rid of PE which he hated (but he still goes swimming and wants to take up climbing) there's an extra 11 -12 hours of actual lesson time, not including lunchtimes and breaks which he often spent alone, or miserable because people were taunting him and calling him 'weirdo' and 'freak'. The school are actually going to let us know if it looks as if they'll use up their places for year 10, and giving us the option to re-register him. I veer between wishing he could have teaching from some of the fabulous teachers there, and wondering why on earth I'd struggle to put him back in a place where he was so unhappy.

Could being "bored" actually mean that the work is too hard for him and he is struggling?