sil refuses to wear a cycle helmet and cycles to work through a city

[Margaretinbloom]

Sil does refuse to wear a cycle helmet and cycles though a busy city daily. He goes on about quoting some study where helmets are more dangerous as people take more risks bla bla that all sounds like a load of crap to me. He's a self righteous type.

Aibu that my dd should speak to him aa this is selfish and setting a bad example for the children?

He's an adult, he can choose whether to wear a helmet or not. This is interfering MIL behaviour.

It's his life, let him do what he wants.

I take it you mean son in law? I assume as he is married and has children he is an adult? Then you need to let him make his own decisions.

Unfortunately it's his choice and isn't against the law. He's entitled to be a stupid as he likes.

DH refuses to wear a ski helmet, and I have asked him to on more than one occasion so I expect that anything your DD says will go in one ear and out of the other.

Leave it, it's nothing to do with you.

It is a very contentious discussion though. I'm ambivalent about the supposed benefits of helmets (how is a thin bit of polystyrene going to significantly protect your head?) and think there are far more things that should be done to make cycling safer. Concentrating on helmet use can be a distraction other stuff which is more important for safety.

Yikes! I share your anxiety having seen a couple of nasty bike accidents. It's his decision and you should leave him to it. It's probably not a wise decision he's making. However we humans are allowed to make unwise decisions. If your daughter shares your worry then she should speak to him herself.

He's an adult, it's his decision and nothing to do with you. I had to wear a helmet cycling as a kid even though my dad never bothered. Whenever I complained he said "when you're an adult, you can do what you want. If you don't want to wear one, we'll stay home."

Incidentally, I don't wear one now.

The debate is not clear-cut.

www.theguardian.com/environment/bike-blog/2013/jul/09/bike-blog-cycling-road-safety

There are studies that show helmets may be more dangerous than not wearing a helmet.

Whatever...it's none of your business what he does.

He is right - the studies do exist to show that there is higher mortality in cycling accidents in countries where helmets are compulsory. There are multiple potential sources of bias, but it is irrefutable that the studies do show this. Regardless of that though, its not really up to you. What if he asked you to stop drinking alcohol, or eating salt, as it is bad for your health and he is concerned about the effect on your grandchildren?

As you know it's your SonIL's choice.

Our agreement was DH was 'allowed' to buy a new bike on the condition that he always wears a helmet even if he's just nipping round to the shop for some milk. Non-negotiable. He's in agreement though so we don't have to bang on about it, the helmet just goes on automatically every time he goes on the bike.

I'd be concerned if someone I loved was taking such an unnecessary risk, but what can you do? Glue it to his head? It's his choice.

Either your daughter isn't worried, in which case you can't really direct a grown woman to have a conversation with her husband that you think she must, or she is worried in which case she's probably already had the conversation and it's still his decision to not wear it. What can she do? Hide his bike?

Tell him you're worried about his safety. If it's his decision to not wear a helmet then you just have to accept that because there really is nothing else you can do.

Obviously you're just worried because you care, can't fault you for caring but you have no control and you just have to accept you don't.

My DH refuses to wear a cycle helmet. It used to annoy me and make me worry but he has pointed out that he mainly cycles on cycle paths rather than the roads. We did compromise on a high vis jacket though. He is an adult and a sensible one so I have to trust his decision.

It's shit but there's nothing you can do about it. Purely his choice.

At a population level, compulsory helmet wearing increases mortality.

At an individual level helmets are drop tested to an equivalent of landing on the top of your head at 12mph.

They are not tested for sideways impacts.

Many car/bike collisions are a side swipe at speed, which a helmet is not designed to protect against. There have also been studies that show car drivers give those wearing helmets less space.

His choice.
The research shows that drivers are more cautious around cyclists not wearing safety gear.
My worst accident involved just me and a concrete post .
Thank god for my helmet ,it was split open ,my head wasn't.

"thin bit of polystyrene" Have never seen a cycle helmet that is thin polystyrene !

He's an idiot but there's not a lot you can do about it. Just hope for the best that he's never in an accident.

They're polystyrene and not very thick. Not when you think about a car hitting you at 30mph anyway. I wear one by the way, but I'm under no illusions about the level of protection it affords me.

My husband cycles regularly and always wears a helmet.

He once collided with a friend when they were out cycling together. He was OK, but his helmet was totally smashed up. He was glad he was wearing it because otherwise it would have been his skull smashed up.

You can't force it in an adult though. It isn't the law, so he makes his own choices. You can only hope that they are the right ones.

Maybe your daughter has spoken to him about it but he has dug his heels in. I would leave the subject alone if I were you.

YABU because it's none of your business. You also have no business telling your adult DD what to do.

It's his call and you can't force him.

DC3 came off his bike and badly knocked his head. We spent the afternoon in A&E whilst he was monitored. Fortunately, all was well, but the situation would have been avoided, had he been wearing a helmet. Questions were asked by every member of staff we saw about helmet wearing.

A friend who works for an insurance company says if a policy is called upon with regard to an accident on a bike, the fact that the person injured hadn't been wearing a helmet may have a bearing.

I have to say I don't understand the antipathy of some cyclists to helmets. In certain situations they can undoubtedly save your life. And at what cost? Minimal financial outlay and an extra 30 secs to put the thing on.

Well it could be the difference between a life changing head injury and concussion.

The argument is that it encourages cars to drive closer. It also draws attention away from more important matters by over stressing the importance of helmets.

We both cycle a lot and sometimes where helmets and sometimes don't. Helmets mainly protect cyclists from head injuries if they go over the handlebars and land on their head. This is more likely on an icy country road. They don't protect you from being side swiped by a car or squished by a lorry so are less useful in the city. I always use them on long country cycles but rarely do if just going around town. Non cyclists who are totally ignorant of the helmet statistics are far keener on cyclists wearing helmets than informed cyclists are.
Part of this is people liking to tell other people what to do.

Well of course a helmet won't stop you being hit by a car! Don't think anyone suggested it would. But if you do happen to come off your bike then it may well save you from further injury. Just seems a bit of a no brainer to me.