sil refuses to wear a cycle helmet and cycles to work through a city

[Margaretinbloom]

Sil does refuse to wear a cycle helmet and cycles though a busy city daily. He goes on about quoting some study where helmets are more dangerous as people take more risks bla bla that all sounds like a load of crap to me. He's a self righteous type.

Aibu that my dd should speak to him aa this is selfish and setting a bad example for the children?

He's an adult stay out of it, none of your business.

I'm a cyclist and I do always wear a helmet but mainly through habit rather than conviction. I feel more in need of a helmet when riding fast off-road (or on country roads), not so much in city traffic where speeds are usually much lower and where helmets are no protection against the worst danger (lorries).

Helmets definitely do induce behaviour change - I ski and cycle much more aggressively with a helmet than on the rare occasions that I am without one.

It is his head.

My db tried to tell me my dc should always wear helmets, I thought 'oh shush they don't even ride on the road' then my dd had a bad head injury when cycling in woods downhill.

Also a friend at work was knocked down by a lorry and a wheel went over his head - he's not prone to hyperbole but he says if it had been one of those days he wasn't arsed enough to wear a helmet he'd 100% be dead.

So you are definitely not being unreasonable.

But you can't force someone to do something.

OP, YANBU to worry. YWNBU to talk to your DD about your worries. But YABU to be massively dismissive of his opinion (bla bla), and to describe him as 'self-righteous'. Your OP suggests you don't like him very much.

I don't necessarily think that you are being 'that MIL', but I do think that it's his decision, and where their DC are concerned, their decision.

I was once knocked off my bike by a lorry. I was in a cast, badly bruised and in a lot of pain for weeks. However, one of the reasons I'm not dead apart from luck is because I wore a helmet which saved me when I went flying at great speed and smashed into railings and then the road.

When I see cyclists without helmets now I shake my head and hope they never have to feel the sensation of being tossed in the air at 40mph like a ragdoll and slamming to the ground and then being hit by the flying bike and partially by the vehicle that knocked them down. I think they believe it will never happen to them but it could, accidents can happen at anytime and to experienced cyclists of which I am one.

If your concern is his safety, you'd do better paying for him to go on a motorbike Compulsory Basic Training course. They teach motorbikes there how to be actually visible to cars on the road when you're bike-sized, which is something that cyclists never seem to learn. They also teach motorbikes not to go up the blind side of large vehicles, to get out in front of the traffic at lights, and how to take evasive action.

I learned all my road safety as a cyclist from motorbike training and am constantly amazed by how many cyclists I see behaving like fucking idiots while still wearing a helmet as though that bit of polystyrene is their magic talisman against any injury.

But if you're actually just wanting to interfere, because you don't like him and think he's 'self-righteous', then, er, don't. He's an adult and can make his own decisions.

Having smashed my helmet when I had an accident I am an avid supporter of people wearing helmets.

Had I not been wearing my helmet, I may well still be here, but there was a huge dent in it, not sure how my head would have held up without the protection.

But he's a grown man, it's not the law so you can't really do anything about it

He sounds like an idiot and it's incredibly stupid behaviour but if you've already voiced and justified your concerns you shouldn't interfere further. It will only irritate him, he won't change and it'll just mean they're less likely to welcome your input on future issues.

As long as he doesn't cycle up the inside of lorries/buses when they are turning left, he'll probably be fine. If he does, he won't be fine whether or not he wears a helmet.

A helmet is only good if it fits perfectly. I bet 90% of the helmets worn are not fitted properly. I've seen pictures of helmets after people have fallen off their bikes and you wouldn't want that to be your head, but they've in woods etc rather than on roads.

I hope he wears hi-vis though.

"A chap I met was cycling slowly alongside a morning queue of stationary cars.
Somehow he fell over sideways.
He never woke up."

I know someone who lost a family member like this. There has been loads of judging done about how he should have been wearing a helmet etc, but the facts are that the "somehow" he fell over sideways was that he'd had a fatal brain haemorrhage. People talking about how stupid he was not to wear a helmet, is really not helpful or kind.

Op, your SIL makes his own choices. Can anyone say they never take any risks? For example do you get enough exercise? If not you risk leaving your family early.

The real risk to your SIL's health of not cycling and therefore not getting enough exercise, is probably bigger than the extra risk of cycling without a helmet v cycling with a helmet (cycling is risky, with or without a helmet, but you don't seem to object to the cycling itself)

I was cycling on a London road 2 years ago when a car knocked me off. It wasn't a bad accident but without a helmet the right hand side of my head would have been badly bashed. As a result I always wear a helmet. When it's dark I have an additional light on it. I also always where hi vis clothing.

The helmet may not help, but I would share your concerns. Maybe speak to your DD, but not much else you can do.

YABU. He has researched the risks and come to a conclusion about how best to protect himself based on the evidence, rather than blindly following advice/instructions from other people who don't know what they are talking about. He is setting an excellent example for his children.

The evidence is inconclusive. I wear a helmet, DH doesn't, I respect his choice and he respects mine. My DH is not an idiot and he has almost cerainly done a hell of a lot more research on the subject than 90% of people who say it's 'obvious' that wearing a helmet is safer.