to think that most people don't eat really well, they just eat ok

[BellaCB]

I've been following some threads on weight loss and snacks lately as my diet isn't great and I need to make some changes, so have been following for some tips. Sometimes a lot of advice on these threads comes across to me as a little 'extreme' or very radical. As in, you often get people talking about how they never snack, or eat mainly seafood and vegetables and stir fry, say. The threads can go a bit round in circles – "snacking is just a lack of willpower, processed food is evil, carbs are terrible for you" etc.

Now I'm not questioning that this isn't just a very healthy way to eat – I'm sure it is probably one of the healthiest ways to eat. (And this isn't meant as a criticism of people who enjoy eating those foods, or people who have to eat a more restricted diet)

But it got me thinking about what people I know eat (colleagues and friends) and it seems to be the same. The general attempt is to eat relatively well, to have fruit and veg, and to have decent meals where possible. When you go to someone's for a meal or you share recipes, the general aim is something relatively healthy, or at least with fresh ingredients and vegetables. But they are also still eating biscuits in the office, still happily getting a cake in a café, and talking about having had a chippie takeaway one night.

I know the ideal would be to cut out processed food, but AIBU to think that actually, most people just eat quite well, try and get their five a day if they can, but still "indulge" - biscuits and desserts and takeaway and alcohol - sometimes? That most people just live in a middle ground between eating terribly and eating super healthily?

We have such a skewed view of what is healthy eating in this country. It's no surprise really with amount of bullshit the media bombard you with. Add in celebrity diets and novelty food and it's very easy to lose track of what healthy means.

For years we were told eating fat makes you fat. Turns out, that's not true. Now it's carbs make you fat...including fruit. I remember reading the Idiot Proof Diet book which tells you there's absolutely no need to eat fruit, it then goes on to list about 16 vitamin supplements you have to take whilst doing the diet. Hmm...okay.

Carbs don't make you fat.

Sugar in vast amounts isn't good for you but does absolutely no harm in moderation, neither does alcohol, fat, meat or even fucking pot noodles.

It's just moderation. And not eating more calories than your body burns. And most importantly being psychologically well and having a 'normal' relationship with food whether that food be a kit kat or a kumkwat.

So no, YANBU

Office peer pressure is tough. Also healthy snack /share food like grapes or strawberries are more expensive so rarely do people bring them to work instead of a pack of biscuits.

It's just moderation. And not eating more calories than your body burns. And most importantly being psychologically well and having a 'normal' relationship with food whether that food be a kit kat or a kumkwat.

I agree. I have a friend who is constantly doing one diet or another and raving about it, only to put the weight back on afterwards because it's worked entirely on calorie restricting to a huge degree.

Thinking of my friends (and looking around my office) most people actually aren't fat. It's an entirely unscientific deduction but most people seem to manage a degree of moderation.

Snacking is an enormous issue, I do agree with that. It's my particular vice and what I've been looking around on MN for advice to counter.

But in terms of meals, from people I know I get the impression most people manage their three meals a day to be pretty reasonable.

The diet people aspire too is also not necessarily "eating really well" it's just what they think is eating really well. There is no right diet, it varies both for an individual over time, and between individuals, there is nothing wrong with biscuits - they're a good source of carbs and fat generally, both essential to human health.

The real problem is lack of activity, without activity, it's really, really hard to get sufficient essential nutrients without over-consuming calories, activity increases mostly your energy requirements without making much of an increase in your other nutrient demands.

Quinoa is odd, it's very similar to Oats and many other grains, it's pure marketing that made it a wanky food people think they should eat because it's healthy, the only advantage it has is it's a complete protein. It tastes nicer than rice to me, but then no carb-y thing tastes even better.

A bad diet is one which is deficient in nutrients, or excessive in calories, it is not one that includes biscuits or cake.

Most people who claim to eat very healthy, as opposed to just normally healthy, diets are either lying or have an unhealthy obsession with food. Very often they serve it all up with a side of nutritional quackery (think Gwyneth Paltrow and others of her ilk).

An awful lot of nutritional science is based on not very much evidence. Healthy diets around the world don't all look alike - there is more than one way to get an adequate intake of nutrients and once you've got the nutrients you need, you rapidly hit a point of diminishing returns.

I think Gwyneth looks awful. I've had two sugars in my tea with cream and a biscuit and I'm still living. I go to the chippy once a week for dinner and the indian also.

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. - Michael Pollan

I would also add 'enjoy your food, you're a long time dead'

I'm a size 12-16 depending on the shop/garment. I don't know what I weigh. I walk everywhere, eat a good variety of foods, and have a happy, fulfilled life that involves pizza and wine and lying on the sofa as well as kale and fruit and being active, in equal measure. My cholesterol and blood pressure are perfect.

We all die of something. As long as you're not eating in an extreme way (far too much or far too little), eat reasonably unprocessed stuff, when you're hungry, and then forget about it.

I think I eat pretty normally.

There's no way in the world I could ever be a vegan.

I do laugh when I see a fat vegan though

Yanbu, I don't know anyone that eats really badly or anyone that never has treat ever.

YANBU - I cook from scratch. This week I have made homemade pizzas (made the dough) used lots of fresh vegetables as topping and made my own sauce. I am also planning to make chicken stroganoff (with mushrooms and tenderstem broccoli) and leek and potato soup later this week. We eat salad with most meals as well (though not with the soup). However I am a sugar addict so will also eat a big bag of sweet and salty popcorn over the week. and eat some chocolate and sweets everyday too. I may even make a cake and take a slice of it in with me everyday to work. My colleagues are appalled at the crap I eat but I am not overweight and compensate by trying to make homecooked food.

Sounds like us, Monka - DP is an avid cook and everything is made from scratch, including most of our bread. But also our cakes

What worries me about some of the more extreme advice is that it is so extreme. Some of the threads I've been looking at over the past few days, trying to get a few tips, don't ever seem to advocate any degree of sensibility. It's all about dropping ALL carbs and anything white or involving sugar. It's so extreme you get a bit... "um, I just wanted someone to say they found dates or bananas a better late afternoon pick-me-up than a chocolate bar..."

custardcream you shouldn't really be laughing at anyone

I know I've been guilty of following fad diets, losing a bit of weight and preaching about how [insert fad diet] is the best thing ever. I lost 2 stone really quickly low carbing and became a real twat about it. Of course I didn't mention how run down I felt, the constant thirst, the constipation, the trapped wind etc..

And you cannot keep it up. And you don't bloody need to. The only time I've lost weight and kept it off was when I ate all food groups, including treats and the dreaded bread but just in moderation and controlled with calorie counting.

I think you have to believe that what you are doing at any one time is the only way because how else can you justify the sacrifice of cutting out whole food groups.

My diet is balanced. I'm currently scoffing carrot sticks as a side to balance up my Mcdonalds lunch Taking into account the two hours of exercise classes I did yesterday burning around 700-800 calories, I'm not going to lose sleep over it.

I'd say my diet is good enough. It's sustainable at managing my weight without "dieting". I eat 3 meals a day with a mix of food groups, most freshly prepared, some processed. There is room for improvement but considering the constraints of time, availability of items and the needs/ wants of my family, making a substantial effort for improvement is unlikely to have a significant reward, as all signs point to my wellbeing being good at my current stage in life.

If I'm going to have a long life, I may as well enjoy it!

Exactly, MrsMook, you do have to weigh up how food fits into your lifestyle, how much time you have to spend focusing on it. Which is how I can see people find it easier to make an effort for meals, when you are feeding a whole family, but maybe not so much for more snack-type food, if you've got to find extra time to make them.

I've lost just over a stone since Christmas. I still eat everything I used to; meat, carbs, fruit and veggies, beans and pulses, lots of processed rubbish...I just eat LESS of it! Pretty easy really! Yes i could have probably lost it faster on some fad diet but I would have also hated every minute!

Well done cats!

Being vegan is not abnormal or restrictive, and I dont see why a fat vegan would be a source of amusement?

Yanbu

I eat with my colleagues as part of a shift, we support our clients with disabilities to do activities and have lunch out with them every day. Even the ones that eat a healthy lunch will still go for a cake if it's there. I don't myself, but that is actually down to allergies (gluten/dairy) meaning I can't just eat whatever I feel like. That said, if we happen to be in a place that serves something "junky" that I can eat, I will occasionally go for it. Moderation

I think a lot of it is down to preference too- I don't like crisps and don't have much of a sweet tooth but I will happily have a bit of dark chocolate if you offered it. My friend is vegan but has a terrible diet that is high in fat and sugar, having a specific diet means very little if you consistently eat things that are bad for you.

I think many people think they eat well but don't really realise what exactly is in their food, or don't realise the calorie count in even seemingly healthy dishes. But really, who cares? As long as there is some moderation in your diet, I can't see that a slice of cake is all that bad!

Why do so many people hate vegans on here? Its rather strange

I don't think many people hate veganism.

I do think that sometimes vegans get plumped in with other faddy eaters and those who can wax evangelical about how amazing their diet is.

I've only known one vegan - or at least, only known one person who talked openly about their being a vegan - and they were the kind of person who would comment on everything you were eating and shudder if you appeared to be eating something non-vegan.

But I have the same silent reaction in my head to people who wax lyrical about 5:2 or juicing.

Well vegans get a lot of abuse on here. Like people are threatened.

Threatened?

My DH is vegan and like many, he is a bit evangelical about it. The thing is that in order to come to such an extreme diet, people have to have quiet extreme feelings.

You wouldn't bother being a vegan purely because it was healthy....or if you did you'd be rare. Most vegans feel very strongly about animals being farmed etc.

My DH did tend towards being evangelical but I've coached him out of it as it's rude to comment about what others eat. He's got it now.

I'd agree that Vegans get a hard time on here. I'm not a vegan but have noticed that, bar one person I think, all the vegans on here and in RL are 'normal' people and don't force their choices on other people. However they are met with scorn, sarcasm and mockery which is then blamed on Vegans being too pushy.