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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate it when people use the words "lad" and "lass" when talking about adults?

57 replies

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen · 23/02/2015 20:50

I know this isn't really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I can't stand it when people use those words when talking about men and women, both in reference to themselves and about other people.

I had an ex who used to refer to himself as a lad constantly...he was 27 years old and he would call himself a lad FFS. I couldn't help but constantly think "no you're not a lad, you're a fucking man". He also referred to me as his "lass" even when I told him that I didn't like it. I am not a lass. I am a grown woman.

I've heard other people do it so I guess it's a thing but I hate it.

I also realise I'm probably biased as I dislike the words anyway, but it just seems even worse when it's used to describe adults.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThereIsACarInTheKitchen · 23/02/2015 21:59

I should have said I'm from the north east...so really this shouldn't bother me...yet it does.

My dad often refers to my mum as "wor lass". I have to bite my tongue.

OP posts:
Irelephant · 23/02/2015 22:01

Guilty. I'm north east too. I Call DP our lad and I go out with the lasses. Women and men just sounds weird.

derek I love the north west accent. I remember lal for little and marra for mate from my youth.

carbolicsoaprocked · 23/02/2015 22:01

You're right OP - it's not a big thing. DH goes out with 'the lads' and 'the boys' and calls me 'babe'. He isn't under the illusion that any of us are children. His family call me 'flower' and 'me duck' and they know I'm perfectly human - they're terms of endearment and personally I like it. I doubt they harm anyone, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

wartsnall · 23/02/2015 22:05

I have to bite my tongue when my youngest refers to me as 'mum' - I prefer mam.

Idontseeanysontarans · 23/02/2015 22:07

North West here and my FIL greets me with 'ey up lass' Grin it's used to describe anyone and everyone whatever the age

EatShitDerek · 23/02/2015 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HearCerseiRoar · 23/02/2015 22:08

As a Geordie, I think YABU.

We're all lads and lasses up here Grin

WhatWouldBlairWaldorfDo · 23/02/2015 22:12

West yorkshire here.....everyone is lad/lass. To be fair a lot of girls say 'out with the lads' to mean going out with the girls.
My dad also refers to my mum as 'our lass' or the boss , i think its quite cute. Its just how we talk it doesnt mean anything

ouryve · 23/02/2015 22:13

It doesn't bother me.

My mum always cringed when me dad (see what I did there) referred to her as "the missus". Funnily enough DH does that all the time and talks about so and so's missus when he's chatting about colleagues and their families and it doesn't actually bother me.

I bristle at being referred to as "mam", though. All the staff at DS2's school do it, but I'm not local and both boys know me as "mum". (Actually, my dad did refer to his mother as his mam, but my mum used mum and I grey up using mum. Try saying that after a few pints, pet.)

Fatstacks · 23/02/2015 22:14

YABreetU thee lass Wink

RaspberryLemonPavlova · 23/02/2015 22:18

I'm northern and lass and lad doesn't bother me. DH is from the South West and I struggle with his parents use of 'my lover'

Mam is local but I'm Mum, as was my Mum.

Irelephant echoes from West Cumbria there!

EatShitDerek · 23/02/2015 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fatstacks · 23/02/2015 22:21

I use lovely, chicken, flower, cocker, kidda all sorts really including lamb chop.

wartsnall · 23/02/2015 22:25

Does anyone use 'muckle' ?
As in the term 'really' or 'big' ?

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 23/02/2015 22:33

YABU OP and snobby. My dad calls his little sister 'our young 'un'. They are both over 60. If you are talking about an older lady, you might refer to 't'old lass at number 30'. It's just the way we speak in Yorkshire and the north east, and possibly other areas. Do you get annoyed at Cockney rhyming slang or West Indian patois?

There seems to be a lot of northerner bashing going on recently on here Hmm.

Original poster
ThereIsACarInTheKitchen · 23/02/2015 22:37

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat I am a northerner....

OP posts:
ouryve · 23/02/2015 22:37

OP is Northern, Ilkley

ouryve · 23/02/2015 22:38

Xpost:o

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 23/02/2015 22:40

Do you get annoyed if the man in the butchers calls you love or pet OP. Even men call each other 'love' here - it's just a term of endearment. It's not patronising or childish.

We should celebrate and embrace diversity and regional variations in our language, not get annoyed about it and try to standardise it.

I'm fascinated by the different words we have for the same things.

Original poster
ThereIsACarInTheKitchen · 23/02/2015 22:42

I don't mind pet...don't like love.

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 23/02/2015 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Salmotrutta · 23/02/2015 22:49

But OP you say that "night out with the girls" is okay but object to lass? Confused because you object to grown women being called lass!

But it's okay to call them "girls" ... Hmm

You'd hate it up here in Scotland where women are Lass/Lassie and men are Lads all the time! Funnily enough though only young boys are called Laddie. Never grown men. They are always Lads.

E.g. "He's a nice lad".

Salmotrutta · 23/02/2015 22:50

I don't mind pet, love, dear, or any of that really.

Can't get aerated about it.

EatShitDerek · 23/02/2015 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quiero · 23/02/2015 22:52

I'm from near Newcastle I think I use lad and lass to refer to anyone around my age and younger. Like I would say "I saw a lass I used to go to school with".

I say mam and I am mam to my kids. I think that's a class thing where I live though. Saying mam rather than mum is probably a bit common Grin

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