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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be shocked at this trend on kids' social media?

53 replies

MrsTawdry · 23/02/2015 20:04

Ok I probably AM bu to be shocked. But I AM disgusted. My niece is 11 in year 6 and has had a FB page for a year or more. But has only become active this year really.

She and her friends from school seem to be running "Hot or not" posts regularly in which they film themselves going through their phone scoring their classmates out of ten for hotness. (like 11 year olds are hot ffs)

They include the boys and the boys add comments saying thanks just like the girls do...I haven't looked to see if the boys are also scoring like this.

They run through saying "Tom Smith Hot 8.....Amy Jones Hot 3....Peter Davis hot 4...

Obviously they give their mates a good score and the others...not so lucky...get scored low.

Kids are tagged in them so they can't miss their mention. Angry why do their parents LET THEM DO THIS!? Do your DC do this? HAve you seen it?

OP posts:
GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 23/02/2015 20:08

I have no earthly idea why anyone would allow an 11 year old on FB or any social media. I really don't. Your story is particularly depressing.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 23/02/2015 20:09

Mine hasn't got FB or instagram- she facetimes/texts. But if I ever caught her doing that there would be absolute hell to pay. I'll keep an eye out.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 23/02/2015 20:10

I know. I'm feeling a bit insecure about it all Goodbye because a portion of my DDs class are on Instagram etc...she's in year 6 in another school. I don't allow it myself and last week the HT sent out a letter about some bullying on the year 6 girls' social media...and could parents please be vigilant.

Sad I feel I am damned if I do and damned if I dont but I won't let her...she can't gain much from that kind of thing.

OP posts:
Tangoandcreditcards · 23/02/2015 20:11

I was 'voted' the ugliest girl in the first year when I was 11, and again the year later.

It was 1991, we didnt have facebooks so it was scratched into my desk.

It's not social media's fault.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 23/02/2015 20:11

Tango I know it's not new...but these vids are their forever now. Your desk abuse is long gone.

OP posts:
EdSheeransGString · 23/02/2015 20:12

My 12 year old neice does this and it's so difficult to read! 11/12 year Olds saying who's got a nice bum etc it just doesn't seem right to me.

SIL just let's her get on with it and so.eof the photos she has been posting recently have been shocking and all SIL has done is posted comments calling her a stunner and liking every post and comment as encouragement.

I agree it's not right

Mintyy · 23/02/2015 20:14

Horrible!

Notso · 23/02/2015 20:14

It's been around for a while, although when it was popular with DD's friends it was asking people to 'like' for a rating not just rating anyone.

I wouldn't let my 11 year old on FB, DD was a month off 13 and the very last of her friends. I was really reluctant to give in even then.

I don't think parents check their kids profiles. DD was messaged by someone with a fake profile pretending to be a model photographer asking her to send photos and meet up for a photo shoot.
I phoned the police. He had also messaged 60+ of her friends all under 18, we were the only ones to contact the police.

Bluepants · 23/02/2015 20:15

Agree with this not being new. When I was at school someone tore an exercise book in half to make a book where each page detailed different people's thoughts on:

Prettiest
Most immature
Etc
Sad

caravanista13 · 23/02/2015 20:15

Whether it's scratched on a desk or posted on Facebook, it's bullying. The school should be informed - they should deal with children concerned and also put more effort into Internet safety education.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 23/02/2015 20:16

Notso I think you're right. I think an awful lot of parents just don't bother to look. :( and then they're shocked when some poor child reaches the end of their tether due to online bullying.

OP posts:
MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 23/02/2015 20:20

My sister does these. She never seems to be mean or score anyone low on them, and rather than scrolling through their friends list, they ask who wants to take part and only use those people.

It's a shitty and alienating trend but I don't think we can blame the current generation of tweens for starting it. I had it done to me on Bebo, without volunteering. Before that it was by text, or MSN, or notes in the classroom.

Unmissable · 23/02/2015 20:20

I remember we girls did this in 6th form. One of the boys found our list and there was a lengthy and heated debate about how sexist it was and how would you lot feel if we did it to you...

He was right and we were 16!

I sometimes think the equality thing has moved backwards in the last 20 years.

My Ds1 is 13yo and does use FB. 11yo DS1 does NOT. I have Ds1's passwords and check up from time to time. There isn't anything like this. Whilst it is undoubtedly not rare, I also don't think it's common place among 11yos and as your niece's parent I would be very concerned, having deep and meaningful conversations about respect and removing gadgets, at least for a while.

MyCatHasStaff · 23/02/2015 20:21

Schools do loads of work on internet safety and online bullying, starting in primary school, but ultimately it's the parents responsibility.

juniorcakeoff · 23/02/2015 20:21

YY back in the mists of time there was a hot list and a not list on paper going round the school for ages...kids are going to do this awful crap whatever the technology is. It's our job to help them deal with the consequences.

BTW at a similar time and age I recall being shown a really blurry porn film by a classmate on a Nintendo Gameboy which was rumoured to star a certain well known Aussie celeb. Its only looking back that you realise how heartbreakingly young that was to be exposed to that sort of shit.

Notso · 23/02/2015 20:24

What I don't understand is the warnings about keeping your DC safe online etc are everywhere. It's often on the news, we get information from school etc.
Many of DD's friends parents wouldn't let their DC go on a train to a local ice rink until this year, they felt it wasn't safe. Yet their DC seem to have free reign online.

CombineBananaFister · 23/02/2015 20:29

I agree that there has always been some version of these things flying around before technology, but now it's so immediate and so relentless - there's no rest from it as it doesn't switch off after school Sad

It's also more visible to a lot more people very quickly, am so glad I didn't have to deal with this growing up. Dreading Ds going through this. Hate that we've become obsessed with looks above all else as a qualifier for worthiness - only need to look at the vitriol Mary Beard gets and the simpering the Towie star recieve - makes my teeth itch

juniorcakeoff · 23/02/2015 20:30

Look, to be honest with you if your DC's classmates have free reign online, then so do your DC. They just have to borrow their friends stuff.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 23/02/2015 21:01

I think the whole "Tag yourself if you want to join in" is a red herring. those who don't are alienated anyway.

Notso I think the media has a lot of the education wrong. There's so much emphasis on "This person could be anyone" as in...it could be some old perve you're chatting to....rather than on being thoughtful and nice to others.

Junior no...my DC have access to tablets and laptops. I take notice of what they're on. They're never alone online. My DD who is ten has a grand total of 2 best friends and they are also not allowed free time alone online.

OP posts:
Notso · 23/02/2015 21:01

Not sure what you mean by that junior.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 23/02/2015 21:06

Notso I think she means my DD could have a secret FB account or something. Some kids do that.

OP posts:
countessmarkyabitch · 23/02/2015 21:07

Its fucking horrible, but its the parents fault for letting such young children use social media in the first place. 10 year olds on facebook? Of course they are doing stupid things, because they are 10!

flora717 · 23/02/2015 21:07

At school I was runner up (even more galling my mum laughed and said i couldn't even get that right) 'scrufiest' girl in year 11. Voted by my peers and teachers. I really did resent that. Nest of vipers.

Jumblebee · 23/02/2015 21:08

My cousin is 12 and I constantly see his videos of him doing this, and ones he's been tagged in. It drives me CRAZY!

That, along with the usual "aww thanx babez ily 2

sweetboysmum · 23/02/2015 21:13

It's awful. I came across one on fbook where a little bit I know was tagged. Everyone of his fbook friends could see it. I felt very uncomfortable and sad with it all. When I was at school a boy put in the school newsletter that he looked me because I had the biggest bum Shock

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