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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About DP going to concert and staying over?

36 replies

annabanana30 · 23/02/2015 19:31

Dp wants to go to a concert to see his favourite singer. It's in a city about 30 miles away so he plans to go by train and stay over in a travelodge and have a drink before and after the concert. He doesn't have many friends and the ones he does have aren't into the singer, or wouldn't have the money to go. He did briefly ask if I wanted to go, but I'm not so into the singer and the tickets are very expensive, so I said I would stay behind and work and have a cosy night by myself watching tv that I want to watch instead of having to compromise! Happy all round!

I told my friend today of dp's plans and she's rather aghast that he'd ever want to go without me, and that her dp would never leave her out of such a thing. So, AIBU to not be bothered dp is going for a fun night without me?

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 23/02/2015 19:33

Hmm some people are just joined at the hip.

I am in your camp. DH and I gladly do stuff seperatley.

Justmuddlingalong · 23/02/2015 19:33

No, I don't think YABU. Your friend on the other hand...

comeagainforbigfudge · 23/02/2015 19:33

Gawd no yanbu. I love it when my OH goes out without me. Whole place to myself, no fighting over remote, bed to myself!!

Bliss!

ApocalypseThen · 23/02/2015 19:35

If he's happy and you're happy, it's fine. Good that you can be honest about your preferences and come up with a plan that suits you both rather than one of you pointlessly making a martyr of yourself.

flightywoman · 23/02/2015 19:35

But he's not leaving you out, he asked you if you wanted to go and you've chosen not to. That doesn't mean he should miss out on someone he really likes!

She's being bonkers!

Bowlersarm · 23/02/2015 19:36

YANBU. It's one night!

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 23/02/2015 19:37

I would but OH never would

Oldraver · 23/02/2015 19:38

I think its very healthy to have different interests. So long as you can afford it and you get your turn then why not

Purplepoodle · 23/02/2015 19:40

Shame he doesn't have someone to share the night. Wouldn't bother me about him going by himself.

MegBusset · 23/02/2015 19:41

Yanbu! It's very healthy to have separate interests and spend a bit of time apart. Enjoy having the sofa to yourself!

Leeds2 · 23/02/2015 19:41

YANBU at all.

Idontseeanysontarans · 23/02/2015 19:41

We do this - I bought DH tickets to a concert for Christmas with no intention of going myself. I'm going to a show later in the year without him Smile
He took a mate and they stayed overnight, no fuss, no issue. Your friend is being U if you are both happy then it's nobody else's business.

WorkingBling · 23/02/2015 19:41

Your friend is crazy. This happens on our house all the time.

Although I met someone the thee day who was horrified that I left ds with Dh for a few days while I went to visit my dying mother. So some people just have different standards!

MegBusset · 23/02/2015 19:42

I'm also more than happy to go to gigs by myself, would never feel sad about that either. Plus a night in a hotel room by myself sounds like bliss!

mumeeee · 23/02/2015 19:45

YANBU. DH has been to a concert and stayed ovenight before. I am happy for him to do this and he is happy to let me do the same if I want to.

ObsidianEagle · 23/02/2015 19:46

i've let my dh go to a bloody festival without me before, with a female friend.

i really am not bothered, i trust him.

EverySingleTime · 23/02/2015 19:48

Wouldn't bother me. It's Lionel Ritchie isn't it.

magoria · 23/02/2015 19:49

He isn't leaving you out. He asked you if you want to go. It isn't your thing you said no.

I think you need to correct your friend on her view.

Scalesandtales · 23/02/2015 19:51

YANBU.

I think it is healthy to have separate interests. It doesn't mean that you are living separate lives.

Notso · 23/02/2015 19:52

It's a shame he's going alone, but if he's happy to I don't see the problem.

DH has been to loads of concerts with friends but without me. I've been to shows and to see some comedians without him.

NeedABumChange · 23/02/2015 19:54

Your friend's relationship sounds unhealthy. YANBU, you are being normal.

ElviraCondomine · 23/02/2015 19:54

I love the theatre. DH would rather stick pins in his eyes. I therefore go to the theatre with DD1, my Dad and my best friend (not all together, that would be a slightly odd group) including trips to London, Manchester etc. If I had nobody to go with I would go alone - do this for the cinema frequently. If he announced a sudden desire to go and see Billy Bragg or one of his other great musical passions in life, I'd pack him off without a second thought. (I love Bragg as a human being but if only he were more tuneful.)

Fun is subjective.

AgentProvocateur · 23/02/2015 20:01

I bet it's Morrisey!

Sundaysmumisfullofwine · 23/02/2015 20:14

I go off to gigs regularly without DH (less so since DS arrived, but still a few). He's not bothered and I don't see why we need to be joined at the hip for non-shared interests. Equally he goes off to whatever country for international football a few times a year and that's fine as well.

Your friend's relationship sounds quite odd.

Tiredemma · 23/02/2015 20:19

I could think of nothing worse than follwoing DP around everywhere.

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