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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to.

38 replies

PatchouliFooly · 22/02/2015 19:29

About 6 weeks ago DP and I babysat for his Dsis. He was to be paid £10. She got back and no mention of money. He was adamant she would pay, saying maybe she didn't have change and would pay him next day, then next day he said maybe she didn't have it and will give him it next time she got paid... as the weeks passed it was clear he wasn't getting the money. He even text her saying to leave it at their parents next time she was up please. No reply.

Then the other day she asked him to babysit again. I told him as I didn't like what happened last time I don't particularly want to, but he could go, I'd see him later on that night. He said he would and he'd be alone. She said she didn't want to spoil his weekend so she'd get somebody else. Fair enough, but now she's got the hump with me!!

Can anyone explain what I've done wrong apart from be protective of DP, £10 is a lot of money to him and he was looking forward to having a bit money in his pocket. If she wasn't going to pay him and said from the beginning, "I can't pay you but can you babysit?" then fair enough, but he was promised payment and didn't get it and somehow I'm the evil one...

OP posts:
Coconutty · 22/02/2015 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedButtonhole · 22/02/2015 19:34

Personally, I wouldn't expect payment for babysitting for a family member or friend.l, unless it was to cover my travel or something.

But, she has promised payment and obviously had no intention of coughing up, she should have been honest from the beginning if she couldn't afford to or didn't want to pay him.

Surely its up to your DP if he babysits again, you don't need to be there so why is she blaming you for not tagging along?

coolaschmoola · 22/02/2015 19:36

How old is your dp?!

Bowlersarm · 22/02/2015 19:37

If it's important to him that he gets paid for it then he needs to speak to his sister. Maybe she just feels he would like to help her out.

SaucyJack · 22/02/2015 19:49

YANBU. You're perfectly reasonable in not wanting to spend your weekend looking after somebody else's kids for free.

Tell the cheeky cow to Google babysitting services.

jusdepamplemousse · 22/02/2015 19:49

Is your DP short of money? Is he an adult? I think it's v v unusual for an adult to be paid for babysitting their niece/nephew tbh. And obviously it's your DP's business - I think you are being unreasonable to huff with her about it.

Original poster
PatchouliFooly · 22/02/2015 19:50

Coconutty Are you always so nasty? I got asked to go somewhere. That involves me. I take that to be my business...

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 22/02/2015 19:51

I would NEVER expect money for babysitting for my niece and nephew.

Unless your DP is about 14??

CupidStuntSurvivor · 22/02/2015 19:58

Honestly, in my family none of us would dream of accepting money for babysitting or holding a grudge over ten quid.

Totality22 · 22/02/2015 20:01

I know this is going to sound super snobby but is £10 seriously a lot of money to an adult these days?

dustarr73 · 22/02/2015 20:04

But her dp was promised the money.She shouldnt have offered it if she wasnt going to pay him.

He might have babysat for nothing but he done a job and should be paid for it.

I bet the dsis is pissed off with the op cause she has to find another babysitter who she will have to pay.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 22/02/2015 20:05

I'm seriously poor recently Totality. Sometimes a tenner makes all the difference, others it's inconsequential. But it's never enough to cause trouble with family over.

Debinaround · 22/02/2015 20:05

It would never enter my head to offer my sister money to babysit my DS. I do offer her money to cover her costs if she is taking him out for the day but that's it.

If she had offered your DP £10 she should have paid him though.

I can't see why she has got the hump with you for not wanting to babysit. Your DP doesn't need you to hold his hand does he?

WineListPlease · 22/02/2015 20:06

I can only assume you are teenagers.
If she has promised to pay, then she should bloody well pay!
And it is perfectly reasonable to refuse the babysit again.

If you are adults - get a grip.

ChipDip · 22/02/2015 20:08

I would never ever dream of charging my family for babysitting. That's not how family treat each other. ConfusedAll this drama over £10 from a family member? Yabvvu.

ScotsWhaHae · 22/02/2015 20:08

YABU, all of you are. Unless dp is 13.

CookieLady · 22/02/2015 20:10

Hang on a sec, irrespective of whether other people's families not charging for babysitting the OP's DP was promised the money. Therefore, she DNBU.

I suspect his sister has the hump with you as you're not doing what she wants - free babysitting.

ElsaLitcha · 22/02/2015 20:10

YABU. Maybe she was joking about the money.

CookieLady · 22/02/2015 20:11

*charge for babysitting or not.

whattodoowiththeleftoverturkey · 22/02/2015 20:11

Under what circumstances were you asked to "go somewhere"? There's a gap in this story.Confused

laughingmyarseoff · 22/02/2015 20:13

SIBU to lie about payment, then to brush it off then to ask again is cheeky tbh. SIBU to be annoyed with your choice not to babysit, why should you? She's not entitled to it and why doesn't she trust your DP alone?

Your DP needs to stand up and assert himself with his sister though, it's not for you to intervene on his behalf with her though. So far I don't think you have since it's up to you to babysit or not for whatever reason.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 22/02/2015 20:14

Regardless of the promise of payment, it's unreasonable to upset a family dynamic over a tenner.

AwfulBeryl · 22/02/2015 20:15

Errrrrm, was dp a typo ? Did you mean Ds ?

Floggingmolly · 22/02/2015 20:16

He was looking forward to having a bit of money in his pocket. Please tell us how old you both are; I'm guessing 13? why are you on Mumsnet?

NobodyLivesHere · 22/02/2015 20:17

Why are people being so shitty? A tenner is enough to put electricity on in my house for a week, it's the difference between heating my house and not.
Yanbu OP, but families are weird, it's often a case of you can be mad at your own siblings, but no one else can.

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