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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to.

38 replies

PatchouliFooly · 22/02/2015 19:29

About 6 weeks ago DP and I babysat for his Dsis. He was to be paid £10. She got back and no mention of money. He was adamant she would pay, saying maybe she didn't have change and would pay him next day, then next day he said maybe she didn't have it and will give him it next time she got paid... as the weeks passed it was clear he wasn't getting the money. He even text her saying to leave it at their parents next time she was up please. No reply.

Then the other day she asked him to babysit again. I told him as I didn't like what happened last time I don't particularly want to, but he could go, I'd see him later on that night. He said he would and he'd be alone. She said she didn't want to spoil his weekend so she'd get somebody else. Fair enough, but now she's got the hump with me!!

Can anyone explain what I've done wrong apart from be protective of DP, £10 is a lot of money to him and he was looking forward to having a bit money in his pocket. If she wasn't going to pay him and said from the beginning, "I can't pay you but can you babysit?" then fair enough, but he was promised payment and didn't get it and somehow I'm the evil one...

OP posts:

CupidStuntSurvivor · 22/02/2015 20:17

I thought that at first Awful but that would make OP the Dsis's DM.

SaucyJack · 22/02/2015 20:20

It's not "just" about the tenner and is isn't the OP who's upsetting the family dynamic.

The sister wants the OP to be at her beck and call and has got the hump because the OP has said no. Very sensible too IMO. Stop that nonsense before it starts. You could be in each other's lives for a long time.

AwfulBeryl · 22/02/2015 20:20

Oh yes . Well, what an odd thread.

laughingmyarseoff · 22/02/2015 20:22

CupidStuntSurvivor That meay be true but there's plenty of mn posts about shitty relatives bhaving enttled. They don't start out totally shitty or entitled, they get their slowly because no one wants to upset the family dynamic.

If this was a one off, maybe write it off or just do as the OP has- refuse to babysit but if this is just another misbehavour and way of getting her own way- which it sounds if she's humpy about the OP not helping babysit this time- then yes they should upset it. Or she'll become like some of the entitled shits we see being moaned about by family members or friends who've always heard 'don't upset X'.

She promised something, she's not delivered and ignored and yet asked again- that's very cheeky behaviour and if OP doens't want to pander to it that's her choice. IF her P wants to write it off or not be upset that his choice, as it is OPs refusal.

wigglesrock · 22/02/2015 20:22

I don't know why people are being shitty about the tenner either. An extra tenner petrol which I haven't budgeted for can make a difference in what I can do in a week, who couldn't do with an extra tenner on their grocery budget? Must be that difference between life on MN and actual real life again.

AwfulBeryl · 22/02/2015 20:25

you're nbu though op, if he needs that money and expected it then his sis should have respected that.

steff13 · 22/02/2015 20:28

I don't think you're being unreasonable not to want to babysit. However, if your partner has let the £10 go, I think you should, too.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 22/02/2015 20:29

YANBU. It's irrelevant whether other posters would charge family for babysitting. It's irrelevant whether £10 is a lot of money to some or whether it's peanuts. It's irrelevant how old you are! She said she'd pay and she didn't, and then expected it again. You didn't ban your DP from babysitting, just said you wouldn't go along (and you can quite frankly do what you want with your free time!). If she's getting the arse about it (and sounds like she's cutting off her nose to spite her face saying 'I don't want to ruin your weekend') then that's her problem, not yours.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 22/02/2015 20:29

I can only go off the info in the OP laughing which describes one incident, not loads. I didn't for one second say that the Dsis isn't unreasonable too. I think they all are. What's ten quid between siblings, really?

laughingmyarseoff · 22/02/2015 20:40

Lying about the money, ignoring her brother then asking again - all in the OP. Being humpy with OP, very unreasonable too and the OP has made it clear that that tenner was very sought after by her DP.

Besides why should the OP have to help maintain family dynamics? They aren't her family and the sister is the one whose annoyed and upsetting things.

From the sounds of all above, it looks very like Dsis could very well be entitled.

laughingmyarseoff · 22/02/2015 20:42

I would never expect or ask for money from my siblings but if they offered and I was desperate and agreed then I'd be pissed at the lying and evasion. What's the truth between siblings?

A tenner, hell even £5 can sometimes mean the world to my sister so I'd never agree to give her money and back out.

getawaynow · 22/02/2015 20:56

I would never take money from a family member however I have a friend who is pretty short on cash and was asked to babysit for her brother. She agreed once they dropped her home or paid her taxi fare. They returned all grand, no mention of money. She had to ask! Very cheeky I feel as this was previously agreed same as with the op.

Some people are that short of cash a little can make a big difference.

But It's not only the £10, it's the principle too and I can see why the op is upset. It's very cheeky of them, if £10 is so little then why not just pay! YANBU

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 22/02/2015 21:07

What's £10 between siblings.

That's not the point though is it? It's the fact that she said she'd pay and she didn't.

And £10 is a lot if you're skint.

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