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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy my child a toy if I want to??

40 replies

TourGuideBarbie · 22/02/2015 13:21

My DD got a small Paw Patrol figure from someone at Christmas, a little dog that she plays with constantly and she's now become obsessed with the cartoon. (If I'd known she'd be so in love with it, I would have got her some for Christmas.)

Out today and I saw some figures the same as the character she had, so picked two up to buy. I'd been looking out for them in the supermarket and hadn't seen any.

MIL and DH were with me, and MIL asked me why I was buying her toys, and then tried to give DH the money when I wasn't looking.

It really pissed me off. Little comments for the next hour about me not working and poor DH looking after us all.

AIBU to just see something I knew my DD would love and get it?? Surely it's just one of the lovely things about having a child that you can occasionally do this?

OP posts:
thatsucks · 22/02/2015 13:23

Of course YANBU! Drives me mad when people don't get that you being a SAHM enables your dh to work and make the family money! (I work FT btw, my dh is SAHD).

TidyDancer · 22/02/2015 13:25

Clearly this isn't about the toy itself, is it?

MIL obviously overstepping the mark, but any chance this could be coming from DH? Maybe he is worried about money and has vented to the wrong person?

MrsTawdry · 22/02/2015 13:25

Don't go out shopping with her any more. How rude and controlling she sounds! Tell DH that he must support you in similar situations in future!!

IAmAllImportant · 22/02/2015 13:25

You should tell MIL you have plenty of money from the wages your DH pays you for looking after your DC and house!

redexpat · 22/02/2015 13:27

YANBU. Your financial arrangements are none of MILs business. That would piss me off more than the comments about the item in question.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/02/2015 13:29

None of her business, its up to you what you buy your ds. I would bring up with dh, she was overstepping the mark. Did he defend you? Don't go shopping with her again.

Galvanized · 22/02/2015 13:31

From your OP it sounds like she was suggesting to buy it herself, she was "offended" you were spending the money while she was there instead of giving her the opportunity to pay and buy it as a gift.

Original poster
TourGuideBarbie · 22/02/2015 13:36

We don't have money troubles, we aren't rich, but we're okay and I know we can afford two £5 figures.. In September I'm starting a degree, I'm doing a course right now so not doing nothing, but it's all about me spending DH's money.

And she was annoyed that I would buy something so soon after Christmas, and not for any occasion. I know DH didn't have toys outside of birthdays etc and she doesn't like that we do this.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 22/02/2015 13:37

Galvinised, its the snippy comments aimed at op afterwards, she was giving the money, not as a gift, but to pay op dh back for her 'spendthrift' ways.

SaucyJack · 22/02/2015 13:39

YABU. You shouldn't be spending your husband's money without asking him first. We're not living in the 21st century FFS.

Oh no wait. We are. My bad.

Ragwort · 22/02/2015 13:39

I think you are over thinking it - why not just accept her gift of money gracefully and let her pay for the toy.

It reminds me of the time my MIL offered to do my DH's ironing, for some reason I was offended as if she were judging my 'housewife' skills and I huffily turned her down, with hindsight I should have just said, 'thank you so much and could you do mine as well'. Grin.

But I am a lot older now and little things like that no longer offend me.

thatsucks · 22/02/2015 13:40

Saucy Grin

Original poster
TourGuideBarbie · 22/02/2015 13:43

She offered DH the money after Id bought it and we're in another shop... She didn't think I heard her I don't think.

OP posts:
MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 22/02/2015 13:48

It would've been the comments of you not working and your Dh looking after you all that would've pissed me right off, more than the giving him the money.

Fuck all to do with her if you want to buy your dd presents. Just don't go shopping with her again.

Mrsteddyruxpin · 22/02/2015 13:49

Avoid her and don't go on trips with her. Let dh deal with her

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 22/02/2015 13:54

no comment on mil but you have my sympathies re bloody paw patrol. My son is obsessed!

He spotted those toys the other day too. Going to cost us a fortune Smile

Your shop doesn't have a Sky one does it?

Original poster
TourGuideBarbie · 22/02/2015 13:57

No! We got Marshall and Chase Grin sky was the one someone bought her for Christmas... I'd never heard of it before!

OP posts:
LokiBear · 22/02/2015 14:01

YANBU. At all. Please share where you got said toys, my dd is obsessed too! She really wants a plush 'Rocky'.

Original poster
TourGuideBarbie · 22/02/2015 14:03

Toy Barnhaus in Epsom... I didn't see any plush toys though..

I am really annoyed with the situation. I can't wait to earn my own money!

OP posts:
Rjae · 22/02/2015 14:06

Another MIL hating thread. Pile in everyone!

Original poster
TourGuideBarbie · 22/02/2015 14:07

It's not so much mil hating as situation hating to be honest.

OP posts:
GotToBeInItToWinIt · 22/02/2015 14:08

Ragwort I always, always 'allow' my MIL to do the ironing, even though I know she's only offering as she is judging me for not ironing DH's clothes and trying to make a point (I do his bloody work shirts!).

RedRugNoniMouldiesEtc · 22/02/2015 14:10

What did dh say about the money/how did he respond to the comments?

Aeroflotgirl · 22/02/2015 14:12

No it's not rjae, if mother in law had not passed snippy comments putting op down there would be no need for this thread.

Original poster
TourGuideBarbie · 22/02/2015 14:12

He didn't say anything much. He said 'don't be silly!' about giving him the cash...

OP posts: