I've just thrown a banana skin on a car parked over our drive.

[SilenceInTheLibrary]

I really have. Dh says IABU. I'm just fed up with people parking over our drive. Polite notes, going in to the village pub to ask them them move, a polite sign on the wall does nothing. I'm just fed up.

Seagulls love bread even if its on a car. They poo a lot too.
Just saying.

Excellent OP. I'd be reserving plenty of rotting food waste for such occasions.

Eggs are a nightmare to get off and just smear all over the windscreen when you wipe them. Also if it is a sunny day they start to cook on the windscreen. :)

Just order some, "You park like a cunt" stickers and slap them on.

If you can, get a chain across the drive, so they cant get out.

TaliZorahVasNormandy
'Just order some, "You park like a cunt" stickers and slap them on.'

Ha ha - I have some with mickey mouse on giving the single finger salute and saying 'Next time you park so close, leave me f8cking tin opener so I can get out'

Dee I want some of those, parking in this village is a test of patience.

Also need cuntyparker ones for the NDN who keeps parking his reasonably small car over one of my spaces.

for anyone who wants the Mickey mouse thing...

OP, acquire some traffic cones. Not sure where from but I'm sure 'the Internet' will know. Put them across your drive. People may not listen to signs but you've have to be an extra special kind of prick to get out of the car and move cones to park somewhere.