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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to get baby stuff out of the loft before my baby is here??

36 replies

Ilikemashpotatoe · 21/02/2015 11:06

Me and dp have literally just had a row about this.
I am due in 3 weeks time and want to get crib, pushchair and car seat out of the loft to clean and make sure it's alright. He, on the other hand thinks it's fine to just leave it until the baby is here or and I quote "3 days before baby comes" which is when exactly!! Because I could go into labour any time you moron!!
I am so annoyed with him! I don't know wether this thread is going to make me feel any better. Either il feel like I'm stressing for nothing or il be even more annoyed at dp for not understanding!
So, AIBU to want to get organised for baby?!?

OP posts:

EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 21/02/2015 11:09

YANBU!

I'm 33 weeks and I am getting anxious that things aren't done - cot not built, baby clothes still in loft etc.

(TBH I'm likely to try to get up there myself if he doesn't do it this weekend...)

afreshstartplease · 21/02/2015 11:10

Yanbu!

If anything needs replacing you need time to do that

meglet · 21/02/2015 11:11

yanbu. It needs to be in the house and spruced up ready to go.

Lovemycatsandkids · 21/02/2015 11:11

Of course you are not unreasonable.

Get his lazy arse moving.

Has he never heard of nesting?

If he keeps refusing tell him you will ask a friends dh to do it and shame him.

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 21/02/2015 11:12

YANBU, when my friend took her baby stuff down from the loft there were mice holes and droppings in loads of it from her NDN's loft. Yuck.

You need it down so that you can check it's ok and give it a good airing. Lofts are damp.

Good luck persuading him!

EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 21/02/2015 11:12

... or tell his mother that you're going up to do it since he hasn't.

might work!

Totality22 · 21/02/2015 11:13

We had our crib up at about 38w both times (pram a little earlier when it was new, 2nd time it was already being used but we didn't switch it back over to carry-cot part until after baby was here)

All the other big stuff [bouncer/ car seat] came back from my folks house when I went on ML - so just after I was 38w.

Is there a valid reason your DP doesn't want the stuff out now? (for example will it all take up valuable space?)

comeagainforbigfudge · 21/02/2015 11:14

Eh no. He's BU!! Big time.

I'm expecting my first, only 24 weeks and by most people's standards quite relaxed about getting stuff. BUT I plan to have everything in place for about 34 weeks. JUST IN CASE!!

Besides, the point is YOU want it down now to check. So he should just do it.

That is all.

Original poster

Ilikemashpotatoe · 21/02/2015 11:16

I've already shamed him and he just thinks I'm mad for wanting to do it. He just does not get it! I feel bad moaning about him because he is actually great with everything in general but just so laid back about it. How the hell can he not see that this is important!! I'm getting so frustrated!

OP posts:

Mrsteddyruxpin · 21/02/2015 11:17

I would get my brother or someone over, honestly. He is being ridiculous.

comeagainforbigfudge · 21/02/2015 11:17

*when I say most people
I mean in RL, who are surprised when I say I have got xyz.

And I second shaming him into action!!

ChickenMe · 21/02/2015 11:19

I agree Yanbu. you are trying to nest which is a normal thing and he is stopping you. I would either threaten to get it myself or get another bloke to get it (BIL? FIL?) since he can't be arsed that'll surely embarrass him. Stuff might need cleaning too.

ShadowSpiral · 21/02/2015 11:20

YANBU.

Both my DC were born before my due date - the closest I got to the due date was 37+2. So if I got pregnant again, I'd definitely want everything ready to go by 37 weeks just in case.

Original poster

Ilikemashpotatoe · 21/02/2015 11:21

One of the reasons is because of space. The stuff has got to come down sooner or later so we can get used to the space being taken up. My parents have said they will stash stuff at their place until we need it so that's not even an issue as far as I'm concerned. He just won't listen. It's my bright idea and he doesn't want to be a part of it. He's being an arse!!!

OP posts:

catellington · 21/02/2015 11:24

I'm 34 weeks, started getting stuff down a few weeks ago. I got the clothes ready, took 2-3 days to get them out, organised, washed and dried, enough out for first 9 months so we don't have to keep going up there.

DH has washed all covers for baby car seat, find and put back in newborn insert for seat, wash bouncy chair, playmat, straps for high chair which were filthy, cover for Moses basket etc. order new mattresses, then put it all back together.....it all takes quite a lot of time and effort. You don't want to do that at 39 weeks plus the baby might arrive sooner!

Don't go up yourself, I don't really even fit up our loft hatch if I'm carrying anything, maybe show him this thread will that persuade him!?

houseofstark · 21/02/2015 11:24

YANBU. These are all things you'll need as soon as you're home and it's much easier to clean them and check them now!
Have you already got clothes and bedding out and washed them?

catellington · 21/02/2015 11:26

We are quite short of space but basically everything is in cot for now and clothes on shelves in labelled boxes. It will all still take up the space when the baby is here!

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 21/02/2015 11:31

You are not being unreasonable at all. If you had wanted this stuff out of the loft six months ago to check it, wash it, get it all organised, then he should have done it. Just so you wouldn't be stressing about something needlessly. He should be doing everything you ask him to right now, quite frankly!

He is being an arse.
Agree with others - ask someone else to help you, and hopefully he will be suitably embarrassed.
Good luck and great wishes for your new baby Don't stress - it will get sorted, one way or another. x

Original poster

Ilikemashpotatoe · 21/02/2015 11:39

I've washed all clothes and everything else is sorted it's literally just the car seat, crib and pushchair that I desperately want to get out/clean/make sure it's ok.
Before Christmas I had this bright idea of getting all ds old clothes out the loft to clean and get rid of as we are expecting a girl. So the house was full of baby clothes and Christmas junk and I was still working so it took a while for me to sort out and get rid of. I think this is why he has a complex with me getting more stuff out the loft. But realistically, this is not going to be taking up that much space and it's more convient to get it out now. I was early with my first so I'm fearing the worst that I won't be organised this time if she comes early.
I've managed to get somebody to come and get stuff out the loft for me tomorrow.
I was in two minds wether to let him have his way but knowing my luck it would all work out ok. I'd rather just do it, get sorted and try to relax for the rest of my maternity leave before baby comes. Who doesn't want to get the crib out and set up and stare at it excitedly before baby comes?! My dp that's who!!

OP posts:

Lovemycatsandkids · 21/02/2015 11:44

The Cruz of the matter is though it matters to you and it's important to you so he should just fucking do it for that reason alone even if he thinks it's crazy!

And of course it isn't.

Why would he upset you like this? That would hurt me to he honest.

I want to kick his arse for you op

Lovemycatsandkids · 21/02/2015 11:45

Oh just seem your last post. Good for you.

Original poster

Ilikemashpotatoe · 21/02/2015 11:56

I don't think he is purposefully trying to upset me, he just doesn't get it. The whole nesting thing. I'm even worried about him being my birthing partner. I told him I was worried about my back when I'm in labour as I've got spd and his reply was "but what's labour got to do with your back"

Anyway, I will get my own way and he will have to put up with me doing things more than 3 days before the babies here, because I can.
I know he will be a brilliant father just like he is with ds. It's just things like this that he doesn't seem to understand. He's the sort of person who thinks everyone over complicates things. So much so that he can't see when he's doing it himself!! If he just did it, I wouldn't have to moan about it all the time.

OP posts:

Summerisle1 · 21/02/2015 11:57

I had this bright idea of getting all ds old clothes out the loft to clean and get rid of as we are expecting a girl

ddil did this although the other way round as she gave away all dgd1's baby clothes because she was expecting a boy. Very sensible we all said. Until predicted dgs turned out to be dgd2! And that's with THREE scans suggesting differently! Not wishing to worry you or anything!

However, YADNBU wanting to get all the things down from the loft. You may have 3 weeks to go before your EDD but babies tend to scoff at EDDs. Your dp is being very unhelpful here. Is there anyone else who can get the stuff down for you?

monkeyfacegrace · 21/02/2015 11:59

I'm on baby number 3 and have had the cot up and buggy ready since about 16 weeks!

Dh wouldn't have dared to argue

I did have my last baby at 33 weeks though so I have a small excuse.

ghostspirit · 21/02/2015 12:03

put your foot down op. you need them out now. like you say you will need to give things a clean and make sure everything is ok. plus its apart of nesting.

he might not get some things. weather he gets it on not. it wont hurt him to get them out of the loft

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