To think If Mumsnet were a country

[Bannalebasadi]

We would be living in a country unlike all others. Most posters' children eat healthy (despite obesity stats), no one ever admits to being married to a man who does not pay child support(dispite the many threads about fathers(mostly) absconding from responsibility)without justifying it, we have no Wendy on here, none of us or our children are bullies, our children can speak at 5 months old and are all top of the class, etc

Am I unreasonable to think somethings on here are beyond belief in relation to what happens outside of MN?

If MN were country I would not admit I have a Coke a day

Forgot about the absence of Loo brushes. Also there would be pom bear in little bowls in everyone's home.

I'd deny I don't have time to cook from "scratch". Scratch flipping scratch, what the crap is cooking from scratch

OMG the OP takes COKE EVERY DAY!

(escalates thread with ridiculous wrong-conclusion jumping then runs away)

Well my two don't have Quinoa and Mung Bean salad in their packed lunches every day so I wouldn't be allowed in.

I think a fair bit of what is posted on MN is either a big fat porky or embellished a lot.

YANBU

I've just read yet another thread where the OP hasbeen jumped on by three dozen respondents, all telling her that the answer to high rent/average earnings is to cycle everywhere with two preschoolers. That and slow cookers and the bloody magic chicken, do my head in.

And another one with snottiness about young mums admittedly in response to an idiotic OP

I am in pain and exceedingly a bit grumpy though, so I could be BVU myself

I've no idea what you mean sparkling. I've got to go and muck out the elephant now while helping 3yo learn the ukele.

I wonder what the visa requirements would be

I suspect Sparkling is the worst of the lot and she just poses as a normal person.

Owlina.

What jobs would be on the list of required ones like when you emigrate to Oz?

Trollhunter
Bullshit Detector
There's two off the top of my head.

Parking attendant. Driving instructor. 111 operator. Enormous chicken farmer.

I'm convinced you'd need to submit a meal plan with "fresh ingredients" as proof

Squash monitor
MIL tamer
Grammar police
Penguin bollard salesperson
Strange noise investigator

Police Departments-

Sugar intake
Fashion
Book Bands
Fun
Who parks where
Who sits where (sub departments-buses/cafes)

You are all above Keeping up with the Kardashians and the Daily Mail entertainment sections

Not sure which threads you've been reading but your OP doesn't sound anything like mn. Or indeed an mn country. Maybe a small, quaint village in middle England...

YABU and maybe you should check the relationship pages to see that what happens on mn is happening in rl too.

We have fizzy pop every day, don't really eat that healthily, have loo brushes. I don't think we would be allowed in. Or if we were, it would be as plebs to clean the real MNers loos.

VISA REQUIREMENTS UPDATE COMING TO EFFECT AT 2PM

Children with no interest in ballet regrettably will not be granted visas

I hope ukele playing toddlers are granted a pass and there's not too much excess baggage to pay on the elephant.

In laws visa will be phased out in an hour

I am retracting my visa application.
I predict an acute shortage of citizens to do the ordinary jobs like cleaners, and waiters. And an abundance of management consultants.

We reserve the right to take squash swabs

There would only be and to drink and and ... Maybe (does it still work?)

My child is top 1% in the country for maths

My child watches no tv

My child has never had McDonald's

Only one of these statements is true. Maybe. Or not.