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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep on and on at DD about this?

51 replies

MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 14:41

She's almost 7 and she's never still. We get her out and about daily...as she goes loopy otherwise but when we're just sitting in the sitting room she is NEVER STILL.

She's lifting the furniture up and down, she's running about....she constantly opens the writing bureau lid or rocks on her chair making banging noises.

She flicks stuff. I feel like I am always saying "DD stop that!"

AIBU to go on? Am I over sensitive? She doesn't do this in school.

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 20/02/2015 14:44

Is she bored?

I can see why it would annoy you but if she doesn't do it at school, there must be a reason she does it at home?

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 14:49

I mean she could be. She has painting stuff accesible, games, books, pens, paper...toys...dressing up...a garden. It's usually when she's watching her tv...she doesn't have more than about 2 hours split up through the day...so when she's watching it she's banging things.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 14:50

it's not "her tv" I mean to say "her tv show"

OP posts:
VioletMoon4683 · 20/02/2015 14:52

You probably need to tire her out completely. An hour or two of running about or cycling

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 14:53

Violet I do! It feels like I do anyway. I take her out daily for long walks bike rides or swimming.

OP posts:
JontyDoggle37 · 20/02/2015 14:56

Could you make it a reward thing? Get a big egg timer so she can see the number of minutes to go (or put it on your phone if you have a timer app) and then say "today I want you to sit completely still for 2/3/4/5 minutes" and when the timer goes off, then you can have a reward." Then she has something she can look at that is changing (the timer) and she knows it is only for a very short period. Then you could build it up. Saying no all the time is just going to stop her listening to you when you really mean no (I.e. In a safety situation).

VioletMoon4683 · 20/02/2015 14:57

What about some kind of deep relaxation so she can learn techniques

Tisnemo · 20/02/2015 14:59

Oh I feel your pain-that is my dd as well. She is nearly 7 and drives me potty with her constant bouncing but is a still, peaceful angel at school. I think it's just who she is but I also spend my life nagging her

Mrsjayy · 20/02/2015 15:02

Give her something to play with when she is doing this will help her chill out google fidget toys

JsOtherHalf · 20/02/2015 15:02

Does any of this ring bells?

spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-disorder.html

anotherdayanothersquabble · 20/02/2015 15:04

Any other issues? Or medications she is on?

BrokenCircleBreakdown · 20/02/2015 15:05

Yes I was thinking SPD too Js

Endler32 · 20/02/2015 15:08

She could be over stimulated? People say 'tire her out' but sometimes giving children lots of things to do can make them worse as you are encouraging them to always be doing something.

I have a dd with SPD and ASD, she struggles to stay still but the more I do with her the worse she gets, sometimes I find it easier to let her get on with an activity on her own ( a activity she has chosen ) and not keep on at her to stop moving, we also use fidget toys which help.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 15:09

JS no...my older DD does have some sensory processing issues I think though she's not got a DX. She's very sensitive to both touch and sound. But this smaller DD is fine with clothing and noise etc.

She sometimes seems hard to pin down...lacks concentration. Her teacher says she is very well behaved but now and again she needs a little reminder to listen and keep listening.

OP posts:
ThingummyJigg · 20/02/2015 15:09

I think she needs to keep moving or keep fiddling. Get a box of fiddly toys and keep them near the tv. She might sit still if she's fiddling with something.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 15:10

Endler she will sit and paint for a long time...she's good then. But I don't always want the mess...she's very messy.

OP posts:
Ardliath · 20/02/2015 15:14

I have worked (T.A.) with a child who was constantly fiddling with things to an extent where it disrupted the lesson. I found giving her something silent like a lump of blu tac which she could manipulate underneath the desk very effective. Ds1 was very similar - I noticed he was particularly active eg pacing up and down when trying to work something out.

Footle · 20/02/2015 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 20/02/2015 15:22

I think YWBU "to keep on and on at dd" for something she can't help, yes! Shock
My (13yr old) dd is like this at home the whole time - always has been. It was never once mentioned as an issue in Primary school, but Yr7 parents evening was quite a shock!
However, it's not something she's choosing to do, she can't help it.

WyrdByrd · 20/02/2015 15:29

Tbh (at the risk of being flamed) if it's mostly happening when she's watching TV I would probably turn it off & point out that if she's not interested enough to watch it properly there's no point having it on.

The fidget toys people have mentioned sound like a good thing to try first though.

I must admit I had my friend's 7yo round yesterday for about 90 minutes and his constant fidgeting drove me mental, so I think you're amazing to be so patient!

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 15:51

Wyrd she is watching it though...she only has it limited time per day anyway....and she's engrossed but idly banging and bumping.

OP posts:
Nationalmust · 20/02/2015 15:58

Fiddle toys and bite your tongue. I mainly remember being told to stop again and again in childhood. I failed everyday. I still fiddle and wiggle but not as much as dd who is like a perpetual motion widget. She might grow out of it maybe...

Seriouslyffs · 20/02/2015 15:59

Please stop nagging her Sad
You say she can paint for ages but you don't like the mess- here are some non messy alternatives: Teach her to knit or crochet or loom bands or hamma beads or draw or do Lego or mecanno or etch a sketch.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 16:04

Serious don't patronise me. I don't like the mess...doesn't mean I don't allow it ffs.

Keep Sad that for yourself.

OP posts:
HopeThisHelpsYou · 20/02/2015 16:12

How about letting her join a dance school or sports club? It may be she just needs to move and dancing or swimming or running could be a good outlet for all that energy, at least once or twice a week!