to love a good SAHM V WOHM bunfight?

[ssd]

and theres loads on here just now!!
its all good...

Bunfights can be fun.

I'm sad though that the childcare one has started the slide towards that. I suppose it was enevitable.

YABU to start a thread about tons of threads, without any real AIBU

I find it really sad that we can't respect each others choices in life. Bollocks really when you think about it, I choose to work because it makes me a better person - happier, more fulfilled but I understand that my friends don't need to work to feel that way - that's my take on it. Each to their own right?

I work full time but am thinking of giving it up. I find myself getting offended by both sides of the bunfights...

I've been both, see both points of view. It's a mystery to me why it is such a contentious issue. I give zero fucks what other people do.

Yanbu , me too!. I honestly couldn't care less what other people do . However I do like to watch people go round in circles arguing

I find them unbelievably fucking depressing. They set women against women on an issue where frankly everyone, men and women alike, should be campaigning for universal affordable high-quality childcare, so that whether parents of either sex work or look after their children full-time is a genuine choice.

What does make me enormously irritated on such threads, though, is the general assumption that only the woman's salary services the childcare costs, any more than only the woman's salary is liable for the household's fuel or food bills.

YABU. Sorry to be humourless, but some people are faced with difficult choices in that regard, or forced to go one way or the other by circumstances. No one really cares all that much about what other people do, but they do care about how they're judged for their choices and it's particularly painful if you're not entirely happy with the 'choice' you've had to make. Enjoying people getting het up about something that's clearly a sensitive subject for them is pretty spiteful!

I work part time, therefore I am right.

I think they are horrible.

We should be supporting each others free choice and not laying into each other for the sake of a bunfight. I don't even care that it makes me sound like a humourless killjoy. Much.

I think they're depressing and I'm sure a lot of posters end up feeling unhappy or anxious about their choices. Don't have to read them I suppose but when I do I start to think jeez am I doing the wrong thing?

Yabu- bunfights are pointless

And - on a serious note- they detract from Sensible discussion about work/ children related issues. There is important stuff happening right now- eg the introduction of transferable parental leave, an exciting development which could make a big difference to many people's lives. So it's a shame that some discussions turn into a bunfight because a minority of people feel threatened.

The most hilarious bit is that it doesn't even matter. There are people on these things making out that if you SAH/WOH your children are guaranteed to be murderers. It's like all the other mummy bunfights, always about something with drawbacks and benefits on both sides, always something that actually affects the kids marginally or not at all, depending on personality.

It's good to see passion though IMO. I don't like it when it comes to vitriol, but the strength of feeling and willingness to express them is great. Sometimes I do think that if everyone got that excited about pushing for equality we'd be a lot closer to it than we are.

And yes I agree with listingattic the pain and anger comes from so many of us being really unhappy and feeling powerless to change it. That's really awful, I certainly don't enjoy that aspect of the bunfighting. We need to push the childcare issue onto political agenda into all parties. I read someone on mn yesterday say "it's hard but the government can't afford to pay for everyone's childcare". But we can renew trident and make sure the Lords get champagne AT WORK. Yeah, right.

I work from home! So am I both????
I stay at home but get paid for it, yeay I win!!!!!

What annoys me about such statements as yours Tisiphone is they ignore the reality of the gender pay gap - in 2014 women earned 82p for ever £1 on average (from google/broadsheet). Added to that an age gap as well (younger people also get paid less) then when you have two people in a partnership, and they add their wages together and it doesn't fucking work, what makes the most economic sense? The lower paid partner bears the brunt of the shitty end of the stick so the family unit can survive! If you were talking about relationships where money coming in was roughly equal than perhaps you could be more justifiably annoyed that it was the woman's wage seen to be 'needing' to cover childcare but when ine partner is economically unequal that s just what happens. And there's no need to assume that the other partner doesn't equally contribute either. I know there are plenty of shithead dh and ex stories on here from women asking for help but there are those of us just plodding along doing the best we can too you know.

It's depressing. People should be able to do whatever works for them and their families without being judged or accused of doing your DC a disservice in some way. We should not be attacking others because their lives and choices differ from ours. There is no absolute right or wrong here: just what works for YOUR family and what doesn't.

What does WOHM mean sorry

Yeah, I love them

Always good to know that whether I work full-time, part-time or stay at home I will be irreparably damaging my children in some way.

Heels..me too, perhaps we should start our own bunfight?

TBH I find the threads embarrassing, they highlight the worst in people.

I am constantly amazed that the women on these threads who are "fighting for women's rights" are actually the ones berating women for their choices.

SAHM/WOHM threads are the opposite of the sisterhood

When I was a SAHM I got criticised by someone I know (part timer) for not working, not contributing to the family income, for not giving my children the benefit if a nursery experience.

The very same person, criticised me when I returned to work (full time) because she 'preferred to value her DC over her career'.

Some people just like validation of their own life choices and find it difficult when other people 'challenge' that by making different choices to them.

It's a sign of insecurity.

Working out of home mum? Anyone?

I find them massively depressing. Surely the whole women's rights movement was about the choice to do either and although it is natural to think that ONE is making the RIGHT choice for you (otherwise it is pretty stupid to make it!), surely it is possible to think that and yet still see that OTHER choices are right for OTHER people.

As a WOHM I have the utmost respect for SAHMs, they do something that I think is very valuable and that I couldn't do without going nuts. I say "praise sister"

They are allover at the mo. I work part time so very much on the fence!!

Working Out of the Home Mum is what I've always thought it to be.