to love a good SAHM V WOHM bunfight?

[ssd]

and theres loads on here just now!!
its all good...

msmittens I'm a sahm and I feel the same about wohm's. Working full time and having to think straight, and STILL having to deal with 3am pissed beds and remember who has what for packed lunches and when whoever should be wearing a tie for school photo day.... I say "praise sister" too.

Yes. I suppose it brings up things people feel strongly about. I'm an on the fence - work from home part-time. Most of the people I know in real life are a bit of both really.

They are so boring and repetitive. Same old same old.

Choice is one of the definitive things of the woman's right movement surely.

it's a little insiduous, the dismissal of the actual value of 'traditional womens work' i.e. care and housework which actually has economic worth as well as the obvious worth because we still persist in looking at success in 'man in suit' kind of way we sit here and insult each other. Which helps no one and then carers remain paid under the NMW.

They do make me chuckle when Xenia comes along as I think she holds the strongest opinion. If more women thought like her, there would not be so much difference between men and women in the workplace.

Surely the whole women's rights movement was about the choice to do either.

I think it's a fortunate minority who are able to choose precisely how much paid work they want to do and how much time they'll spend at home looking after their kids, and then gets to do just that. Most people have to make at least some sort of compromise. The availability of work, your earning power, the flexibility of your workplace, the availability of work for your partner, your partner's earning power, the flexibility of your partner's workplace, the availability of childcare in your area, the cost of childcare, the flexibility of available childcare - all these things constrain the 'choices' people make. That's life. But if you're even just sometimes bored at home with the kids or feel a bit like you've lost your identity - or wish you had a bit more time at home with them or were less tired when you were - and then someone pops up and says they couldn't do what you do because they'd get bored/need to use their brain/enjoy spending time with their kids/want to devote their attention to their kids while they're small - it's going to sting a bit!

It's going to take quite a social sea-change to get to a place where those choices aren't loaded and people don't feel judged for them. It's probably impossible to get a place where everyone is free to choose exactly what they'd prefer to do without any circumstantial or financial constraints limiting their choices. I hate bunfights about the subject because I'd hope that on MN at least we could all just go "hey, let's not make it more difficult for all parents ever by turning it into a argument". Ever the optimist!

Not funny or interesting. Agree with those of you who find it depressing.

This went viral a while ago so I'm sure most people have seen it but I think it puts things very well:

www.huffingtonpost.ca/dr-carolyn-ee/stay-at-home-moms_b_4770600.html

I find them very tedious and I really dislike seeing the seriously entrenched positions of some not very imaginative posters.

Holy crap Reenskar that made me cry! The letter to the WOHM mother... that could have been written about me. No one has ever said that stuff to me. I love my job and am a better and happier person (and mother) for it but my God the guilt and the missing out and the demands on your time.

Hearts, me too, and I'm usually a hard nut

I posted that link on a thread a while ago (mid bunfight which was probably my error) and got flamed by both sides!

I don't mind most bunfights but I am with those who find the sahm/whom ones massively depressing.

Some of the shit women throw at each other on those threads is just awful.
It's like watching shit throwing chimps.
Zero respect, no humour, no ability to see a different perspective and usually underlaced with really snide nasty attempts to imply the other 'side' are damaging their children.

The regular posters that turn up to slag other women really are the pond scum of mumsnet.

YABU

I work from home and do the childcare too, so I don't have a side I can join.

What's a bun fight?

What had me laughing was the childminder, that was on here slating Working Mothers saying that they didn't love their children has much as SAHM's and that they were neglating their children. Is it not Working Mothers who supply her income.

I have the utmost respect for SAHM's and and Working Mothers at home or otherwise they make the choice that it right for their family and for them, and unless you are in their shoes can we judge.

I don't care what anyone does

You do what's best for your family and hopefully you

I do think that on those threads there is a distinct lack of the word "some"

Using that word a bit more often would stop most of the "bun throwing"

"What had me laughing was the childminder, that was on here slating Working Mothers saying that they didn't love their children has much as SAHM's and that they were neglating their children. Is it not Working Mothers who supply her income. "
not to mention that if she had children herself, she obviously fell into the "doesnt love her children as much as a sahm" camp

stealth could you please throw wine instead of buns, I have had to go on a diet since I started working from home, think it is too much time sitting on my arse reading mumsnet sitting working v hard

you blooody wahms alcoholics the lot of ya

I think we should all be DWTFYWABNTEOM's

(Do what the fuck you want and be nice to each other mums)

hiccup I know