Boss taking 2 Two week holidays back to back and leaving me in the lurch

[HoldingtheFortress]

I'm having a stress meltdown and need to rant.

I work in PR and started a new job last summer. I love the job, it's what I've always wanted. My boss and I work closely together, as he and I are the only people in the company who do our particular area of work.

We are under intense pressure from a number of workstreams, but one particular project that boss has been working on for two years was due to come to a peak from January onwards culminating in a lot of work and a lot of pressure.

A couple of months ago, my boss's line manager came to me to tell me that Boss had requested some annual leave. Turns out boss was getting married and hadn't really mentioned it to anyone.

Boss wanted to take 2 weeks off to get married abroad, then come back to work for 2 days, then take another 2.5 weeks off to go on honeymoon. A total of 22 days leave with a break of 2 days work in between. He certainly hadn't mentioned the annual leave to me, the first I knew about it was when this request came through to his line manager.

Line manager is fully aware of the pressure we are under, and is also involved in this project from a different angle, so he was aware of the impending deadlines and escalation in work, but doesn't have the necessary expertise to actually help me with any of my tasks. He asked me if I could manage on my own.. but frankly that put me in a difficult position - I'm still new to the company, so I don't want to be seen to be incapable, and so I said yes I'd be ok but was concerned about being left on my own.

Line manager agreed that it wasn't ideal, but said that because it was Boss' wedding, and honeymoon, he couldn't really refuse. But who goes on a 2 week wedding abroad, then immediately goes off on a 2.5 week honeymoon abroad? It's ridiculous.

Boss still didn't mention it to me, I had to tell him that I knew then he sheepishly admitted that he was going away and asked if I'd be ok... what the hell could I say?

So the weeks leading up to him going away meant that I had to double up on work because not only did I have my own work to do, but I had to make sure I was up to speed on his work as well, since I would be leading on it in his absence.

The deadlines with this work then escalated and it became increasingly apparent how hugely important this month would be for this particular project. This is literally THE most important 4 weeks of the whole year for our jobs, I can't stress enough how crucial this time is - and boss is away for all of it.

I'm pissed off with him for putting me in this position, and I'm pissed off with our company for allowing it. I think we have a policy of not allowing anything over 2 weeks leave without special permission, but he has circumvented this by coming back in for 2 days before commencing his second holiday.

AIBU for being totally frazzled, stressed and thoroughly pissed off with my boss?

YANBU. Have you asked for extra support while he's away? Even if it's just a junior person to manage media lists, do the coverage cuttings, handle the admin?

YANBU - I'm in a slightly similar situation. Our project manager has been moved on to something else and we're at a critical stage in the project, but we're just expected to absorb the extra work with no thanks or explanation.

How long is it before your boss comes back? If it's a while it's time to document which elements of the work you feel you need extra input on.

Would you be allowed to book off the two days that he is back, just to give you a couple of days break before the next two weeks of stress begins??

I do have support from the project team, but there's literally no one else who can manage the expert input that I have to give. So yes, there is admin support, but a lot of it I'm on my own with.

You need to go to your line manager now and ask for extra help. Be specific as to what kind of help you need. Work out priorities and point out worst case scenarios.

No, I can't book off the 2 days while he's back - I'm 2 weeks into boss' time away. He's back in work on Monday, but its the 'go live' date of our project, literally the most important day so far in the whole thing. Before he went away, he told me he didn't really want to go, because couldn't be bothered travelling.

So I've been frantically trying to cram the necessary information into my head (remember I've been in the job 6 months while boss has been working on this for years) whilst juggling all the other work.

This week, a number of my colleagues told me they thought Boss was being totally unreasonable and he really ought to be there to support me and relieve the pressure on me. So I emailed him during his wedding holiday. I didn't accuse him of trying to get out of it or anything, I just kept it really friendly saying "here are the arrangements for Monday, let me know what you plan to do"

He replied with "Do I really have to go?"

So I talked to a number of colleagues (all of whom are at higher grades than me) and said I really didn't want to be the one to tell him what he had to do. So I replied that "I've had a chat with everyone and we really think you need to be there so we can all support each other" and left it at that.

He hasn't replied, so I'm still in a position of not knowing whether he's coming on Monday and therefore dont know whether I should be cramming info into my head this weekend, or whether I can relax knowing he's coming.

AAAAAAARGH!

Someone please tell me I'll get my rewards for this.

YANBU - it was up to your line manager to say no and come up with a compromise with your boss. WTF does he mean 'I can't hardly say no'?

I'm confused he's back on Monday but saying he can't do what on Monday?

Sounds really selfish of your boss to be honest. You say there are other projects as well. Can any of these be put on hold for a while?

He's back on Monday but saying he doesn't want to travel to a meeting, because he's just got back from one holiday and about to go on another, so doesn't want to travel.

It involves an overnight stay for some of us, but some others are going there and back in a day, so he has the option of doing that if he doesn't want to stay.

We were discussing it amongst ourselves and someone said "well he might be jetlagged I suppose" and i said "frankly, his jetlag is not my problem, I don't give a shit about his jetlag"

He's back in the country today, meeting is on Monday. If he's tired, then that his own bad planning.

Aargh, I like my boss, I really don't want to develop negative feelings towards him over this.

Yes, all of my other work is being put on hold while I deal with this - which is also stressful because I can see other things slipping.

I think the main thing that is stressing me out is that I really want to be seen to be doing well in the job, and don't want to say I can't cope - so I'm soldiering on in Boss' absence - but at the same time, I have to say to him that I bloody need him there for the 2 days that he's back and he can't just shirk his responsibility just because he doesn't fancy travelling.

YANBU - it was up to your line manager to say no and come up with a compromise with your boss. WTF does he mean 'I can't hardly say no'?

I think line manager was put on the spot because it's his wedding and honeymoon. If it was a 'normal' holiday it would have been easier to say no.

But who spends 2 weeks abroad getting married then immediately goes off to another country on a honeymoon anyway? I think he's used the 'honeymoon' tag as emotional blackmail to get away with it.

I agree it sounds ridiculous the amount of time he is having off but he is allowed to ask & the fact it got granted is a bonus.
You do need to manage upwards. I would go to your line manager & say in hindsight it's becoming too much to manage so you need some additional help. Even if it is taking some of the admin side of your plate.
Also agree priorities with your bosses boss so you are both focused on the right areas.

Personally I wouldn't want him there as he has done none of the work involved, bur will get all of the praise as he is the 'manager'.

Personally I wouldn't want him there as he has done none of the work involved, bur will get all of the praise as he is the 'manager'.

Yes that does concern me. I've spent the last two weeks doing all the background prep, he'll walk in and go "Oh that's nice, someone wrote all this out for me" and take the credit. I really do want to be seen to be able to cope with this - but on the other hand, I would really benefit from his expertise on this.

It's out of my hands now - I've thrown the ball into his court with my email, if he chooses not to come then it's either up to other people in the team to tell him he has to, or we'll manage without him and he'll get to look like an arse to the rest of the team.

I'm also fighting for a higher pay grade (whole other issue), so anything like this where I stand alone will help my case.

I think it's fine to say to the manager that although you were trying to be optimistic, realistically it's become clear that no, you can't do this project single handed for a month. I don't think this will create a bad impression - if someone's long absence made no difference, then they aren't needed in that job in the first place! Firms have plans in case of long term sickness absence, etc etc and this is the same sort of situation.

Look at it this way - you are being asked to not only do your own job but also step up and do your boss's job for a month. Great opportunity. But not possible to do both at the same time effectively. So you can do your boss's job, and you need a temp/assistant/work experience person/someone seconded from elsewhere to cover at least some of your job's role.

I have a history of being a doormat in these situations.

So how can I flip this around to my advantage and make sure I get the most out of it without having a meltdown?

It's already affecting my personal life - DP and I had a huge argument over nothing yesterday because we're both so stressed out

Yes I can use it to show how I've been doing Boss' job for a month and that will help me with my pay grade issue.

So you can do your boss's job, and you need a temp/assistant/work experience person/someone seconded from elsewhere to cover at least some of your job's role.

Not possible I'm afraid. I'm already 2 weeks into the month's absence, and my company won't provide extra staff. To be honest, it's these next few days that are the crunch point, I'll be ok after that.

I'm more annoyed that he's put me in this position, and that I had to be the one to tell him to attend this meeting on Monday. I asked his Line manager to step in and he side stepped it and said he'd rather I emailed him. Nobody wants to take charge here.

As you will be doing your boss's job for a month, the very least you should demand is enhanced pay for the month. And remember this is your oportunity to show what you are capable of.

As you will be doing your boss's job for a month, the very least you should demand is enhanced pay for the month

Not an option either. Our company don't do that.

This is a company that promoted me, but is refusing to upgrade my pay because they don't yet have a grade for my new job, so I'm still getting paid my old admin role wage with no sign of when it will be rectified.

My company is a mess. But I love my role within it, and won't be leaving. But just want to find a way to cope with this current situation!

What you do is book a 30 minute slot with your bosses LM.

You go in with a bullet point summary of what you have done, what needs doing and who needs to do it.

Be clear if there's issues you don't have the experience to deal with. ask for assistance with your other projects that are not receiving your attention, whilst you're working on the big one.

The point is, whilst you're soldiering on if it all goes tits up you need to have made it crystal clear where the weak spots are. If managerial assistance was not forthcoming you need to be able to point to that.

You also want to have it crystal clear what your contribution was when it goes well.

That's really good advice TSS thank you.

I don't think that I'll get assistance with anything else, since all of my work is so specific to me. But I have had permission from my LM to turn down any extra work that comes my way in these few weeks.

It's also a good idea to keep a log of what I've done, what responsibilities I've taken on, which will help when I fight for regrading.

TBH this whole thing has made me want to fight for the same grade as my boss, since I'm doing the same job as him. he's soon to have line manager responsibility taken off him due to restructuring (I'll have a new line manager) so there's no real reason why we shouldn't be on the same grade in the future.

I'm shocked tbh that your boss sent that email. I'd be very very tempted to forward it to your bosses boss, so he can tell him that he needs to come in.

Look it's great that you have held the fort, and it's all good experience, but at the end of the day your boss seems like a complete p*ss taker. it's his big project - he should be there to manage it's implementation and the fact that he may or may not have jet lag is no ones consideration but his own.

You can still have the chat with the big boss and outline what you have done over the past weeks and what needs to be done on the Monday, what is outstanding from your normal workload, but regardless of all of that he needs to be there and for the overnighter, otherwise great if it all goes well, but if it doesn't and he isn't there - from your e-mail response he could say oh well Holding had it all in place and didn't seem to think I had to be there.

Good luck with it all.

Sorry another random thought.

Your big boss should have absolutely ensured that boss was going to be there for implementation in the 2 days he was back. In fact the more I think about it, it's not your decision to make if boss is there or not, this is a big project that boss has been working on for a long time - big boss should be the one who says Yay or Nay to his presence.

it's not your decision to make if boss is there or not

Yeah that's what was stressing me out. It's not my place to tell my boss to be there. It puts me in an awkward position of having to choose between appearing confident and capable or having to look weak and say "I can't cope without you".

I shouldn't have been put in that position. Someone above me should have said "Holding is doing well, but we still think you should be there to support her".

Nobody has done that. I've been left to fight this battle for myself.

So I think Boss will come, but I need to make sure he appreciates all I've done, and that others appreciate it too, and doesn't just see me as not coping and needing him to come in and save the day