Boss taking 2 Two week holidays back to back and leaving me in the lurch

[HoldingtheFortress]

I'm having a stress meltdown and need to rant.

I work in PR and started a new job last summer. I love the job, it's what I've always wanted. My boss and I work closely together, as he and I are the only people in the company who do our particular area of work.

We are under intense pressure from a number of workstreams, but one particular project that boss has been working on for two years was due to come to a peak from January onwards culminating in a lot of work and a lot of pressure.

A couple of months ago, my boss's line manager came to me to tell me that Boss had requested some annual leave. Turns out boss was getting married and hadn't really mentioned it to anyone.

Boss wanted to take 2 weeks off to get married abroad, then come back to work for 2 days, then take another 2.5 weeks off to go on honeymoon. A total of 22 days leave with a break of 2 days work in between. He certainly hadn't mentioned the annual leave to me, the first I knew about it was when this request came through to his line manager.

Line manager is fully aware of the pressure we are under, and is also involved in this project from a different angle, so he was aware of the impending deadlines and escalation in work, but doesn't have the necessary expertise to actually help me with any of my tasks. He asked me if I could manage on my own.. but frankly that put me in a difficult position - I'm still new to the company, so I don't want to be seen to be incapable, and so I said yes I'd be ok but was concerned about being left on my own.

Line manager agreed that it wasn't ideal, but said that because it was Boss' wedding, and honeymoon, he couldn't really refuse. But who goes on a 2 week wedding abroad, then immediately goes off on a 2.5 week honeymoon abroad? It's ridiculous.

Boss still didn't mention it to me, I had to tell him that I knew then he sheepishly admitted that he was going away and asked if I'd be ok... what the hell could I say?

So the weeks leading up to him going away meant that I had to double up on work because not only did I have my own work to do, but I had to make sure I was up to speed on his work as well, since I would be leading on it in his absence.

The deadlines with this work then escalated and it became increasingly apparent how hugely important this month would be for this particular project. This is literally THE most important 4 weeks of the whole year for our jobs, I can't stress enough how crucial this time is - and boss is away for all of it.

I'm pissed off with him for putting me in this position, and I'm pissed off with our company for allowing it. I think we have a policy of not allowing anything over 2 weeks leave without special permission, but he has circumvented this by coming back in for 2 days before commencing his second holiday.

AIBU for being totally frazzled, stressed and thoroughly pissed off with my boss?

Holding - telling your boss that he needs to be there does not make you look weak, in fact it's the opposite, you're basically telling him he needs to do his job.

A strength is to realise when you need others support ( I'm bad at doing this as well) rather than trying to soldier on.

I'd email your boss back and ask for confirmation that he is coming - tell him that actually having thought about it, it would make planning much smoother if you can concentrate on x leaving him to do y&z. So therefore can he confirm that he will be there, or there will be a gap.

Your boss won't like it - of course he'd much rather have a cushy couple of desk bound days occasionally phoning you to check how things are going from the sidelines, but if he isn't going to be line managing you for much longer then it's not really your concern.

Is it possible your boss was having problems keeping up with it all and he chose to get married now so he wouldn't be around during the most stressful time?

Are you at work at the moment op? You seem to have a lot of time to post on this thread!

When I'm at work I never look at the internet at all, not even at lunchtime if I have one [halo emoticon]

I feel for you, of course I do. And yanbu!

I don't work Fridays Mintyy but thanks for the concern!! I don't MN at work!!

Is it possible your boss was having problems keeping up with it all and he chose to get married now so he wouldn't be around during the most stressful time?

Hmm I don't think so, I just think he thought 'sod it' life comes first, with is fair enough - but I do think he was a little selfish booking another 2 week holiday to immediately follow his wedding. Yes, yes I know honeymoons traditionally follow the wedding, but when the wedding itself is a 2 week holiday.. hmm.

and to have booked all of that knowing this was the busiest time.

Irresponsible.

Look this is spoiling your day off. Just email him and tell him he needs to be there. If you don't want it to spoil your working relationship, then butter him up even if it sticks in your craw. Say I've done all the preparation but it would be really good to have you there with your expertise on x,y & z.

He hasn't thought about you or the strain on your workload, so do what's best for the company and that is having the most experienced person who knows most about the project there for implementation. If you don't force the issue, you're the one leaving yourself exposed, not him. Bosses LM has already shown which way he'll jump given a choice.

Boss has just emailed to say he'll come. PHEW!

I can feel the relief and stress lifting off my shoulders.

He also asked me to book him into the hotel, but I threw it straight back at him and said I'm also off today, here are the hotel details if you want to sort it out yourself.

So now I just need to practise how to show I've done all the preparation, without making it look like I can't handle it and need his expertise there.

How about "I've done all the prep, I've arranged to speak to XYZ on the day, but we don't know how things will pan out so it's good that you'll be there just in case any unexpected things come up"

Excellent news.

I'd change the wording of your email somewhat. I know what you're trying to achieve, but if I was boss then I'd be irritated by the wording.
I'd send something like:
"I've done x,y& z so fingers crossed, it should all pan out smoothly, but it is definitely good to have you there. Hope you enjoyed your break"

He's still your boss atm so you don't want to antagonise him. If the event does go smoothly that's the time at your next 121 to come in with a list of achievements.

you are one person. The work needs two people to meet the timescale. With only one person, it will take twice as long.

your managers may be too stupid to realise this (many are). But it doesn't change it. So the task is to decide what can be done in the time with the available manpower. The rest won't get done.

not liking the facts doesn't change them -again many bosses don't agree with that. Not your problem!

It's good that your boss will be there.

In future just say no I won't be able to cope on my own and I need an extra member of staff. I've never been that bothered about my career so I always look for the laziest easiest option in these situations.

Well done for proving yourself in this difficult position!

The cynic in me thinks this is all a ploy to avoid, and therefore distance himself from this crucial project.
If for any reason there is a problem, "Sorry, I left things in order but Holding wasn't really up to the job" !!!!!

Indeed skinoncustard which is why it's good that he is now coming.

This way if the project succeeds as I'm sure it will do with all of Holdings good planning, both people come out well.

Thanks everyone for the support. I haven't emailed since he said he was coming (well he also emailed asking someone to book him accommodation, I replied with a 'I'm not working today, but here's the booking information so you'll be able to sort yourself out'. Grrrr.

Is the Monday meeting client facing? - it's public facing, which is even scarier. No idea how it will pan out (potentially controversial project, could face a lot of criticism) hence why I was worried about going it alone.

I won't say any more to Boss about his threat to not come, but I do need to make sure that I show him all that I've worked on in the two weeks he's been away, and all that I plan to do in the two and a half weeks of holiday that he's about to take.

Already stressing about the things I've not managed to do - must keep repeating to myself, I'm one person doing two people's jobs....

Actually maybe not emailing is the way to go, just be friendly and professional when he turns up on Monday, and you were absolutely right to tell him to sort out his own travel arrangements - he should have done this himself before he went on his break .

As I said before at this point I'd focus on doing what you need to do to make the project a scucess. When it is, as I'm sure it will be, then you can produce your list of achievements at your next 121 and your boss will be well disposed to listen to them.

You have to play it right though as this has been your bosses baby for the last 12 months or whatever, I'm sure you've done a fantastic job, but unless he left a lot undone the reason it is so hard is because you are doing two jobs. You don't want to cast it up to him if he had missed a lot of stuff, so it's more about you stepping up to a big responsibility at an important time.

Also as he's away for the next two weeks, it's a good opportunity to highlight your success to your Bosses Line Manager as well - but again be very careful how you do it. You want to make yourself look good, without saying anything directly that makes your boss look bad. Y

No, Boss hasn't missed any stuff, so me highlighting work I've done won't in any way reflect badly on him - it's all new stuff that has come up while he was away, not his fault at all.

It's more a case of making him aware of the new stuff that came up, showing him how I dealt with it, and how i'm intending to deal with further stuff that comes up.

I do have to tread a fine line between making myself look good and being seen to be critical of Boss. I think I may have overstepped that this week when I was quite vocal in my feelings on his intention not to bother coming on Monday. Now that's sorted, I'll reign it in a bit and be nothing but the supportive, enthusiastic employee!

Thanks for helping me see this in a better light.

Email your boss again saying that you haven't had a reply re: him attending on Monday. Copy your Line Manager into the email - that should force boss's hand one way or the other.

Oh ignore my last post, I missed a load of updates!

Boss is coming Piranha

I'm being deluged with emails with warnings and preparation work... I have no qualms about forwarding these to him today. He's back off holiday, my weekend is just as important as his.

Chances are, he won't look at them, but he can't say I haven't kept him in the loop!

Oh ignore my last post, I missed a load of updates! No worries

Ultimately, your boss's boss was in the wrong for agreeing to the two breaks.

A 2 week wedding abroad is the honeymoon; after all a wedding ceremony doesn't last that long. So the 2.5 week honeymoon after a 2 week wedding is just taking the piss, IMO.

OP, hope this goes well, for you and that you get the grade/pay you deserve.