...to think he should contribute now?

[patch123]

Dp and I don't officially live together but he has been staying 5 or 6 nights at mine for a while. I recently had a water bill and I have always paid £35 per month but it had gone up to £66 due to the extra water being used by dp (I checked it wasn't price increase or any other reason). He was there when I opened the bill and I expressed my concern that for year now I am paying double what I was. His reaction was "well I'm not giving you any money towards it, I've got my own bills". Not even oh I'm really sorry that's happened or let's have a think about what we could do. Even a token gesture of £10per month or buying a food shop would have helped but that reaction was so selfish and uncaring. Plus the fact that his bills will go down when he has a review as he's never there! What do you think?

So effectively it is costing you to have sex with him.
How much does it work out to per orgasm?
But hang on he is getting sex as well, so why are you paying?

What's so great about this man that you want to stay with him? There are plenty of decent men around. You could be with one of them instead.

Or has he got you so worn down with his unpleasantness that you think you're worthless and could never get anyone else?

He's using resources that you could be spending on your kids or your cat or yourself. And he's mean. You deserve better.

I did a quick glance over your other threads - and as here, the advice you are getting is pretty unanimous. This man isn't prepared to contribute to your household financially, doesn't like your children, and is creating tensions between you & your oldest son, isn't making you feel happy & secure.

I can't for the life of me see what you're getting out of this relationship. Amazing sex??
I don't normally do this sort of emotional leverage, but I can imagine that your sons are really loosing out here - in terms of the quality of their relationship with you, their confidence in their home as a safe/loving place, and in pure financial terms - if you are paying for him (you are) you have less for them. And the fact that he dismisses the bills (rather than hasn't thought about it) tells you what you need to know - he doesn't care that his behaviour puts you in a worse position.

A relationship should ADD to the quality of your life. This might not be financial, but you should feel overall that what you get out is worth it. I can't believe you feel this. Please, get rid, don't start another thread about yet another part of his behaviour in a weeks time.