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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think he should contribute now?

53 replies

patch123 · 20/02/2015 08:07

Dp and I don't officially live together but he has been staying 5 or 6 nights at mine for a while. I recently had a water bill and I have always paid £35 per month but it had gone up to £66 due to the extra water being used by dp (I checked it wasn't price increase or any other reason). He was there when I opened the bill and I expressed my concern that for year now I am paying double what I was. His reaction was "well I'm not giving you any money towards it, I've got my own bills". Not even oh I'm really sorry that's happened or let's have a think about what we could do. Even a token gesture of £10per month or buying a food shop would have helped but that reaction was so selfish and uncaring. Plus the fact that his bills will go down when he has a review as he's never there! What do you think?

OP posts:
Fiddlerontheroof · 20/02/2015 08:47

ah....but now I've read the bit about mistreating your kids (cross post)....actually ..if that's the case...you do need to get rid!!!!

FinallyHere · 20/02/2015 08:48

Listen to what he is telling you.... Then act on his words.

LineRunner · 20/02/2015 08:51

OP, how is he around your children?

RandomNPC · 20/02/2015 08:53

You keep posting about this bloke, just what do you get out of this rather crappy relationship with a rather crappy man?

ChipDip · 20/02/2015 08:55

That would have put me off immediately hearing those words. He's making you sound like some money grabber rather than him being a user. Get rid, he will just get more selfish.

OnceUponATimeAgain · 20/02/2015 08:57

I'm no expert on relationships, but i think you should look at what you are actually getting from the relationship - is what he is bringing to the party enough to make up for the arsey behaviour?

Preciousbane · 20/02/2015 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwinkleDust · 20/02/2015 09:01

He is saving on his own energy/water bills if he is staying at yours 5/6 nights a week! You surely can't afford to subsidise him..?

But, his attitude when you opened the bill, is the most telling thing. He is angry with you? Why aren't you angry with him? This relationship isn't a keeper.

Get rid.

peppapigonaloop · 20/02/2015 09:03

Get rid! Sounds horrid and you have kids..he gets angry about bills?! What would he be like if you were properly living together?

GaryShitpeas · 20/02/2015 09:08

cocklodger

get rid

LineRunner · 20/02/2015 09:09

patch123, I commented on one of your other threads that this man just isn't in it for the long haul. It's not you, it's him.

HazleNutt · 20/02/2015 09:10

Having had a look at your other threads - why are you with this man? He's mean and selfish, does not like your kids and does not seem to like you much either. It does not sound like he is making your life nicer, easier and happier, is he?
Yes, relationships sometimes require work, but they should not be a constant uphill struggle, with problems and obstacles at every step. That's not a sign of a good match.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 20/02/2015 09:14

Patch, I have read all of your other threads about this guy. This does not sound like a good relationship for you or your children. Luckily you don't live together, so there are no practical barriers to ending it. Do yourself and your children a favour and tell him it's over.

herintheredskirt · 20/02/2015 09:19

Get rid!

MinceSpy · 20/02/2015 09:19

Patch are you sure one extra person in the house has virtually doubled the bill? You already have three people washing, flushing, drinking, laundry ect. A 25% increase yes but 100%? Get the water board to check for leaks or faulty meter.

As for your partner well you've just had a glimpse at his real personality.

Seriouslyffs · 20/02/2015 10:31

I've just seen all your other threads as the unanimous replies.
Please get rid as concentrate on yourself and your children.

OnBlueDolphinStreet · 20/02/2015 10:46

Ok, so he does pay for the odd bag of shopping but does he bring bags of his washing for you to do?

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 20/02/2015 10:56

Mean, stingy and abusive cocklodger...
Oh yes and doesn't treat your kids well....

bettyboop1970 · 20/02/2015 11:40

Have also looked at previous threads.
I'm with other pp, get rid of the cocklodger who doesn't like your kids.
Tell him to bugger off home, he's saved a fortune in his utilities at your expense!

silveroldie2 · 20/02/2015 11:58

basgetti
"This shouldn't even be an issue because you should have dumped this man a while ago, when he started mistreating your children and told you that he didn't want your 11 year old around, you know your 11 year old who is struggling and suffering from low self esteem (all your other threads). Not sure why the water bill is concerning you more than your children's emotional welfare tbh."

This. The water bill is completely irrelevant in comparison. It's shocking that you are not making your children your first priority.

gamerchick · 20/02/2015 11:59

Why are you exposing your kids to this person.

You're insanely jealous.. He won't pay his way, he doesn't like your kids and gets angry with you.

It's glaringly obvious that you simply don't want to be on your own gleaning from other threads but personally you should stop thinking about you and think about what's right for your kids.

gamerchick · 20/02/2015 11:59

*this relationship that should have said.

shutupayaface · 20/02/2015 12:17

Do stuff at his house instead of yours for a year.

SlaggyIsland · 20/02/2015 12:47

You've posted numerous threads about this man and have been told to get rid of him. Why do you keep posting instead of heeding the advice given?

championnibbler · 20/02/2015 13:49

Cocklodger alert.
You're being used.
He's a piss artist.
Get rid and move on.