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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect to have a miscarriage between DC1 and DC2

49 replies

CityDweller · 19/02/2015 10:05

Apologies if this triggers for anyone.

Everyone I know (well enough to know, iyswim) of my generation and my mother's had a miscarriage between their first and second DC. So I'm sort of working on the assumption the same will happen to me. I have one DC and am trying for dc2, but am assuming if/when I do get preg it will end in miscarriage.

Am I being insane?

OP posts:

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 19/02/2015 10:07

Um, yes.

seaoflove · 19/02/2015 10:07

Yes.

Miscarriages are common, but they aren't more likely to happen after having one healthy pregnancy.

Number3cometome · 19/02/2015 10:08

Yes.

Miscarriages can happen at any time, there is no rule which says it will happen between a certain time.

I had 3 before DC1. I am now expecting DC3.

Number3cometome · 19/02/2015 10:08

In fact statistics say they are LESS likely to happen after a healthy DC.

mnistooaddictive · 19/02/2015 10:09

Not necessarily. I had 4 mc before dd1 and expected more inbetween but went on to have dd2 with no more. Luck of the draw!

Lovemycatsandkids · 19/02/2015 10:10

No op it's a random and very sad occurrence.

No one knows how things will turn out. Best of luck to you and please try not to worry.

newnamefor15 · 19/02/2015 10:11

Yes.

Most women never have a miscarriage.

2plus1plus1 · 19/02/2015 10:11

I haven't heard of this at all.
I expected to have a miscarriage between DC1 and DC2 but that's because I had one before DC1 and by expecting it I was trying to protect myself. I did have a miscarriage between but in my my group of friends I don't know anyone else or did (that said they might not have told people).

realgonekid84 · 19/02/2015 10:16

It is the luck of the draw although I did have 1 between 1 and 2.

Dwerf · 19/02/2015 10:17

Anecdotally, I've found that a lot of miscarriages happen to the first pregnancy. I stress this is anecdotally. It's probably coincidence that your family has suffered second pregnancy losses. It's probably coincidence that most women I know lost their first (though I have a half-baked theory that the first is a trial run for the body. Which is possibly bollocks).

Good luck with your ttc, I hope all goes well.

DixieNormas · 19/02/2015 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

CityDweller · 19/02/2015 10:35

Ok, thank you! It's not so much a worry thing, more a 'factor it into timing' TTC thing. But also probably a 'protecting myself' thing. I was ambivalent during my pregnancy with DC1, but second time around I think I'd be so much more acutely aware of what's at stake, iyswim.

OP posts:

Endler32 · 19/02/2015 10:38

I think everyone needs to be prepared to miscarry any pregnancy, it can happen to anyone but there's also a lot of people that never miscarry, I have 2 dc's and have never miscarried but I know several people who have miscarried a number of times before conceiving their first child.

Groovee · 19/02/2015 10:40

I have 2 children and haven't suffered a loss between them. It doesn't happen to everyone.

icklekid · 19/02/2015 10:41

I was similar in that I know more people who miscarried dc1 so I was convinced I would... doesn't matter what people say its like citydweller says its to mentally protect yourself

ShadowSpiral · 19/02/2015 10:55

I don't think you're any more likely to miscarry between DC1 and DC2 than you are at any other time.

I know a few women who had several miscarrages before their DC1 was born, and then had DC2 with no miscarriages inbetween.

And I have 2 DC and have never had a miscarriage.

BeCool · 19/02/2015 10:56

I had MC between DC1 & DC2, but I didn't realise it was a thing.

Feminine · 19/02/2015 10:56

What you are worried about didhappen to me op
But... I then went on to have two more pregnancies to term.
Try not to worry.
It won't help, plus you'll probably be fine. :)

IdaClair · 19/02/2015 11:03

You are being bonkers, yes.

But I do understand. It has always taken me two pregnancies to get one live baby. For each DC I have had to mourn a sibling first. I also conceive quickly and have back to back pregnancies. That is my experience, so I expect to get pregnant quickly, which obviously might not happen, I expect to miscarry, which obviously might not happen, and I expect to be able to get a live baby eventually, which also might not happen.

I thought that most women do experience miscarriage, not the other way round? But that is my own interpretation of the statistics of one in four pregnancies ending in miscarriage and the average number of pregnancies being over two in total.

toomanypasswords · 19/02/2015 11:08

I had a MC before DD1 and between her and DD2. Although I don't want a DC3, I'm paranoid that if I ever did, I'd have to have another MC first! There's no 'logic' to it per se but so far it's the way it's worked for me: MC, baby, MC, baby. That said, most of my friends with 2 or more DC have had successful pregnancies without a MC, so I don't think you can ever assume it will happen. It's a random and very sad thing. Good luck!!

Chertsey · 19/02/2015 11:09

It's bonkers AFAIK, it's completely random, but I know where you're coming from.

I was very wary of having DC3 after having 2 healthy DC without any problems. I felt my good fortune couldn't continue. Like I say, bonkers though.

RabidFairy · 19/02/2015 11:11

I was the first person in my family to have a miscarriage at all. I had DC1 and then a very early miscarriage and then a missed miscarriage and then DC2, now pg with DC3 with nothing between.

Its pretty random, OP, you really mustn't expect it to happen. Best of luck to you!

crazykat · 19/02/2015 11:19

I don't know anyone who had a mc between dcs 1&2. I had a very early one before dc1 but haven't had any between dcs unless they were too early to cause a late period.

I only know one friend who has had more than one mc and she has a strong family history on her mum's side of multiple mc. It wasn't specific to between dcs 1&2 though.

Andcake · 19/02/2015 11:20

Hmm I don't think you can predict between dc1 and dc2.

I had 2 mc before dc1 (unlikely I can have any more dc to be fair - devastated by this)
1 in 4 pregnancies end in mc sadly - in my mums day dr's didn't even want to see you until you had missed 2 periods as mc was common.

After my first mc I counted up how many people I knew who had had one (inc my aunt, my mil, work colleagues who had revealed them etc) it was 14 people - all but 2 of those 14 went on to have at least one successful pregnancy.

TBH I think any pregnancy you can't rule out mc really until the chance goes down a bit after 12 weeks (when their is still a chance but lower).

Always best to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

YouKnowNothinJonSnow · 19/02/2015 11:37

I think it's to random to predict TBH.

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and then I went on to have 2 healthy pregnancies.

My mum had me, then had a miscarriage and then had my sister.

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