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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I mean how much effort can it be?

51 replies

cheesynachtoes · 18/02/2015 16:43

Regular but name changed because I need a MIL rant. I've come down with a nasty virus and feel rotten. MIL has been over and tutted at me having given the children hotdogs for lunch and used her catchphrase 'how much effort can it be' in this instance to make some sandwiches with some chopped up veggies on the side. I think the ready mix pancake thread has weighed on my mind too (as my DC got them last night for convenience) as I'm sat here feeling the rage and thinking that individually these things are not much extra effort but cumulatively, with all the other stuff I have to do, they are quite a lot of extra effort actually. I feel that things are tough the moment and to keep my head above water I need to take some easy options. AIBU to want to tell my MIL to stick her judgments up her bum?

OP posts:
NancyRaygun · 18/02/2015 17:51

I think feeding your kids hotdogs for lunch is shocking. Disgusting. I don't know how you can sleep at night. And as for ready made pancake mix. I just vomited as I even typed that. I mean how lazy do you have to be!

I simply summon my housekeeper to make the children a delicious healthy lunch of quinoa and hummus sandwiched with a selection of vegetable crudités and a kale smoothie, with a homemade nut butter dip. I mean how much effort is that?

Pull yourself together woman.

Yarp · 18/02/2015 17:51

Tell her if she hasn't got anything nice to say then she shouldn't say anthing at all. Ask her how much effort that would be?

googoodolly · 18/02/2015 17:53

Don't get all the Hmm faces over sandwiches with chopped veg. I have that in summer or if I cba to cook. It's quick and healthy and doesn't involve all the faff of cooking if you're in a rush.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 18/02/2015 17:55

I'm not ill and mine are haviGrinSmileng pizza out of the freezer after a lunch I am too ashamed to even discuss

changeychangechangeychange · 18/02/2015 18:40

sadcasetoday

We are having oven pizza.

Do you usually have them cold from the packet?

Andrewofgg · 18/02/2015 18:43

Give her the address of the nearest grip shop.

Then tell her to FOTTFSOF and when she gets there to fuck off a bit further.

And if that does not sort them out be as rude as she deserves.

NoStrange · 18/02/2015 18:47

I'm ill. Kids have had a combination of freezer food and pasta for a few days. My head hurts when I stand up. they'll survive. Its half term anyway, so they're chuffed with the free reign of the telly and beige oven shit for dinner Grin

You should make a dig at her next time about how your imaginary friend's lovely MIL makes her DIL soup from scratch when she is ill Grin.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/02/2015 18:55

I have put hotdogs on next week's shopping list - thank-you, cheesynachtoes! They will be my treat, for lunch.

And your MIL should learn a bit of empathy and kindness. Sometimes, especially if you aren't well, you just have to do what gets you to the end of the day. Your dc are not going to wilt and fade away because you feed them hotdogs sometimes.

My three all had convenience food, from time to time, and all three are healthy, strapping young men.

timeforabrewnow · 18/02/2015 18:59

Pizza and fishfingers for tea here tonight. Send judgey MIL here - she'll have more to judge!!

Original poster
cheesynachtoes · 18/02/2015 19:28

Thanks everyone, you've made me smile and feel better about the hotdogs. Smile

OP posts:
sadcasetoday · 18/02/2015 19:37

Changey I meant as opposed to takeaway or home-made pizza.

MayLuke83 · 18/02/2015 19:40

Tell her to get a grip.

DoJo · 18/02/2015 20:00

Should have made these:

I mean how much effort can it be?
Original poster
cheesynachtoes · 18/02/2015 20:33

OMG DoJo, MIL was going on about that the other day, she said she was watching a programme about a 'fat woman in a hovel' feeding her DC hotdogs with spaghetti pushed through them. Is that a thing now or is that picture taken from that programme? Her favourite two topics of condescension are obese people and people on benefits so she was made up with that one Grin.

OP posts:
bettyboop1970 · 18/02/2015 21:09

Your MIL sounds an absolute joyGrin poor you!

GokTwo · 18/02/2015 21:28

Yanbu. What a cow! When you are ill kids and everyone has to make do. There's nothing wrong with hot dogs for lunch!

TendonQueen · 18/02/2015 21:36

'More effort than I want to make, actually'. Be upfront about it and dare her to actually call you lazy. Or you could try 'I really think people should be polite and non judgmental in other people's houses. I mean, how much effort can it be?' Grin

whothehellknows · 18/02/2015 21:45

Love cheesy pasta with hot dogs chopped up in it... Classy!

bubalou · 18/02/2015 21:57

I have a judgemental MIL.

I do not like her, at all. Her voice is like nails on a chalk board to me.

The sooner you stand up to her the better.
It doesn't have to be an argument or a big deal. Just don't take her crap and say something just as snappy to her like 'well I got told they were underweight so I'm trying to fatten them up'.

It's what I do. She says something rude - I say something funny, vague and a bit rude back but not rude enough she can take offence.

Oh and for god sake - Lock the fucking door or take away her key! No way in hell would my MIL be 'popping by' unannounced! Confused

Momagain1 · 18/02/2015 22:37

Confused at people who find the idea of sandwiches anda stack of crunchy veg chunks to be odd. I mean, really, you never give your kids carrot sticks, celery, some strips of bell pepper? That seems completely normal to me.

You know, if you don't feel like crap and just give them hot dogs.

As for your MIL, the difference, nutritionally, between a hot dog and bun, or sandwich meat and bread, is little to none, that's a completely bogus, bitchy sort of argument that gives us MIL a badname. If I were your MIL, I would have been asking if there were any left. My DH and DS don't like them, so I never get any.

Mrsbird311 · 18/02/2015 23:26

Thank you so much mil for coming over to cook, I think just sandwiches and chopped up veg will be ok for lunch, but not sure what you want to make us for dinner? Oh you're so kind and lovely let me give you a big sloppy (germ spreading) hug, oooh I do feel rough I'm going for a little lie down could you bring me a cup of tea, I mean how much effort could that be......... Should shut her up!!

BackforGood · 18/02/2015 23:29

Momagain - I don't find it odd to have celery or carrot stick with a sandwich, but I'd call those salad.
The first mention was 'veg', which, to me, says cauliflower, peas, trees, etc., not salad stuff.
You must agree that sounds rather disgusting?

Andanotherthing123 · 19/02/2015 09:06

Your mil sounds unbearable, utterly unbearable. Can she not keep her mouth shut - I mean how much effort would that be?

Fwiw, I regularly feed my kids pizza, chicken nuggets and all manner of other 'non approved' food that kids actually LIKE to eat. Dh does all the proper cooking and even though he works ft I spend as little time in the kitchen as I can. He's very proud as after 7 years, I've learned not to burn the pizza.

Please don't let her make you feel guilty - you sound excellent to me. My mil has never passed comment about my lack of cooking or the inedible offerrings when I do occasionally try. I know someone who cooks all that quinoa type crap but her kids don't touch it. They push it round the plate until it's time for pudding. Pointless IMO.

midori1999 · 19/02/2015 09:27

My children regularly have sandwiches with chopped up veg, they call it a 'picnic lunch' and love it. They also sometimes have hot dogs and if I really can't be arsed then they have cold sausage rolls, as you just take them out of the fridge and chuck them on a plate. The oldest has survived until adulthood on this diet, so job done as far as I'm concerned.

Ignore your MIL, or tell her to sod off! Why didn't she chop the veg herself if she was that bothered anyway?!

londonrach · 19/02/2015 09:39

You ill why didnt your mil go and make the sandwiches and crunchy veg herself. Id have said the kitchens that way! Mind you i have the mil winner of 2014 as my mil. Nothing wrong with hot dogs by the way just surprised mil didnt make the sandwiches rather than moan.... Hope you feeling better. Crisp sandwich sounds good. Not had one for years.... Chip sandwich ever better..