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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be embarrassed to give this as a gift?

54 replies

gofruityourself · 17/02/2015 21:06

If you were giving a birthday present to a friend in February and the present had very obvious Christmas tags would you feel a bit embarrassed about giving it?

As it was probably bought in the sale or an unwanted gift?

OP posts:
Buttercupsandaisies · 17/02/2015 21:20

Oops no idea my first post was listed!

LaLyra · 17/02/2015 21:22

I wouldn't be embarassed by Christmas tags/packaging if it was a brand new gift that I'd seen around Christmas time and thought "X would love that for their birthday."

Is the gift new or do you think it's a re-gift?

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt · 17/02/2015 21:27

Some people aren't that talented at choosing gifts.
It's nice you have a friend who wanted to give you something. Even if it may not have been carefully thought through. Better luck next time eh? Grin

phoenixrose314 · 17/02/2015 21:29

Her financial situation is probably a lot worse than she lets on and she still wanted you to feel like you mattered. I would let it go. I've had to be the giver of those gifts in the past... Ex-P used to control my money and give me a meagre "allowance" despite me being the main wage earner, so I used to re-gift, or even give away much-loved things of my own if I thought they wouldn't realise.

kitchentableagain · 17/02/2015 21:35

When you say it is "not you" do you mean it is a lavendar drawer liner and you prefer rose, or do you mean it is a vibrating cock ring and you are a civilly united/married lesbian?

She may or may not have been embarrassed to give it but if she's reading this I bet she regrets bothering either way. If you're really upset about it stash it in a drawer and give it back for HER birthday.

AlmaMartyr · 17/02/2015 21:49

I have a January birthday and often get gifts like this. It really doesn't bother me at all tbh, I don't think they're regifted, I think they're bought in the sales. It's nice that someone's thought of me. I don't really expect gifts from friends though, and am very unfussy about all this stuff.

Original poster
gofruityourself · 17/02/2015 21:52

Sorry I meant the actual tag on the present.

It doesn't seem like she's skint ... she posted she went on a spar day last week and then a shopping trip etc

I always buy her a birthday present.

I wouldn't give someone a gift that was clearly Christmas stock.

OP posts:
JimmyCorkhill · 17/02/2015 21:54

she went on a spar day Grin I have images of her in our local Spar with a basket full of cans of lager and ready meals!!

Sorry OP Blush

Original poster
gofruityourself · 17/02/2015 21:55

I'm not upset, just a little Confused

Because it's just so blatantly Christmas stock. I mean the tag stuck on the item says "joy to the world"

We always buy birthday presents in our friendship group.

OP posts:
Original poster
gofruityourself · 17/02/2015 21:57

she went on a spar day grin I have images of her in our local Spar with a basket full of cans of lager and ready meals!!

Yeah that's what I meant. If it was a Waitrose day then I'd know she definitely wasn't skint Wink

OP posts:
rootypig · 17/02/2015 22:04

Spar is bloody expensive! Grin

I still don't think a gift matters one way or another. If she's a selfish cow and not a good friend, let's talk about that. But crap presents are given for all manner of reasons, you can't take it personally. My mum's best friend of 30 years has been giving her hideous earring and necklace sets from Next and M&S for decades - SO not my mum's style, the mind truly boggles. We all Grin - kindly, but it's hilarious. On the other hand my older sister, with whom I've always had a rocky relationship, is a brilliant gift giver, always just right and really thoughtful.

Buttercupsandaisies · 18/02/2015 14:03

Really don't get why it's a problem is it's Xmas stock?

rinabean · 18/02/2015 14:05

YABU. I guess she didn't get the memo that you are only to receive the most recently produced items ?? Buying in Nov/Dec/Jan for a Feb birthday is normal and actually shows that she thinks of you and doesn't just nip out for something the night before???

Whatutalkinboutwillis · 18/02/2015 14:06

I'm a February birthday and never bother me in the slightest. For a few things with holly on the box this year just happy to get pressies!

chillybits · 18/02/2015 14:10

I get really annoyed by the assumption that people shouldn't buy nice things, have holidays (even spa days!) for themselves so they can spend more money on gifts.

I have a large family with loads of nieces and nephews,lots of lovely friends with 1-4 kids, should I never do anything myself so I can upgrade the gifts I buy?

ElsaShmelsa · 18/02/2015 14:15

I always buy my presents in the sales. Bought loads of Chocs in the sale (£5 boxes down to £1 in Asda) all with November/December 2015 dates on. Ideal for birthdays before June, really nice make-up gifts from Boots for half price, lovely Yankee Xmas candles for half price etc.

These will all (bar the chocs that will be used for birthdays) be packaged up for pamper Xmas gifts next year. I would be thrilled to receive something like that and none of my friends will be bothered when I bought them!! But again, I would only give to friends that would appreciate and like them.

ImperialBlether · 18/02/2015 14:49

That's the difference, though; this gift clearly wasn't chosen with the OP in mind and is something that is 100% not her. What's thoughtful or kind about that?

countessmarkyabitch · 18/02/2015 14:58

Christmas tags: I wouldn't give a bollocks and would think anyone who did give one was an ungrateful moo who didn't really understand the concept of present giving.
Something thats not you at all: Maybe they aren't good at gifts. Maybe they didn't put much thought in it, for x, y or z reason (lack of money, lack of time, forgot til last minute etc), whatever.

But at the end of the day, when someone gives you a gift, you smile and say thank you. You don't complain about it, even if its bloody awful. It's rude and ungrateful, and just bad form.

KatelynB · 18/02/2015 15:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eliphantdreams · 18/02/2015 15:11

I'd appreciate any gift, regardless of wrapping.

EveBoswell · 18/02/2015 15:40

Well, Easter is coming up so 'Joy to the world' might be construed as something to look forward to?

The day the thread started was Shrove Tuesday anyway, the beginning of going without....

I'm given toiletry gifts and I always give them away because I don't use products like coconut butter or aloe vera stuff. I keep to shampoo, deodorant and perfume and that's it. If anyone gives me soap or hair conditioner, I give it away as a present to someone else. Anyone want a soap on a rope?

It's not so long ago that Sainsbury's (and possibly other supermarkets) had the year date printed on the back of Christmas cards. I was using 2012 cards in 2014. So what? As other posters have said, it's the thought that you have been remembered that counts, surely.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 18/02/2015 16:26

What precisely bothers you OP?

I'm going to assume the tag is removable, christmassy or not.

Even if she got it in the sales, does it matter to you that she paid less for it?

Or are you just peeved to have gotten a gift you don't like? Are you an adult? We all receive gifts we don't like occasionally.

FireflySerenity · 18/02/2015 17:53

I don't like regifting either, it takes no effort or thought. You can tell sale stock from Boots as they change the packaging each year just like the Body Shop.

It's not the cost, it's lack of effort or thought.

changeychangechangeychange · 18/02/2015 18:16

Anything bought in the sale in bulk for generic friends is not an acceptable gift. A gift does not need to be big or expensive- it needs to be thoughtful and considered.

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen · 18/02/2015 20:38

#You can tell sale stock from Boots as they change the packaging each year just like the Body Shop.*

Would people really pay attention to this stuff though? Confused