to move rurally with a 1 and 2 year old?

[punnedout]

We currently live in a small town, and dream of rural living. I've found a house in the country, but it's 7 miles from the local primary school and only has one neighbour (and other houses in fairly close proximity down the lane, but no 'community' as such). It is 4 miles from 'civilisation', but there is nothing around it other than livestock! I am prepared to drive my DCs around, but am worried that they will feel isolated in due course. On the flip side, I think the rural experience will benefit them in many other ways.

Does anybody have experience of this and making it work? When my eldest starts school I know that I will need to ferry him around to see friends etc, which may be more inconvenient than living centrally, but surely this is doable? Am I condemning him to never having friends to visit him?

This has been our dream for years, but now that it may be a reality I'm having a wobble. It's a nightmare commute for me, but I'm not sure I'll be in my work location long-term, so I don't want to compromise our life for that. It's the DCs that I'm worried about.

I suppose what I'm saying (rambling) is that it's a massive leap of faith and there must be people out there who think it's worth it and make it work

Lucy61, he can be both! He is a lovely man, but often does not want outside company and/or cannot be arsed to make an effort. All to do with busy modern living, adding to the desire to escape to the country.

I lived somewhere like this once, when DS1 was about 6 and DS2 was born there. By the time DD came along I was desperate to move into the local village to get a bit of adult company!

It was a lovely spot, we didn't fully embrace the rural lifestyle (hens, grow your own veg etc) but having all that space was great.

Except DS didn't have friends to just pop round and share his massive garden, and didn't like going too far down there as he got scared on his own! We had to arrange play dates in advance, whereas now the DCs can just pop round and knock for each other.

All the other mums walked their DCs to school and then made plans to pop round each other's houses for coffee on the way home etc. whereas I was driving and had to get back to DS1, who I would leave with his dad in the office while doing school run, so no spontaneous meet ups for me either.

I remember once running out of milk one evening and going to the local shop, to find it had closed at 6pm so I had to pop to the village pub to ask for some milk otherwise it would have been a 1.5 hour round trip to buy it from the nearest supermarket! If you're a disorganised type be warned, you can't afford to run out of anything if you live in the middle of nowhere!

I think the idea that rural kids grow up more innocent than townies is a bit idealistic too - it may be true for young DCs but all the teens we knew at that point were off looking for trouble as soon as they could drive and because there wasn't a big social scene, they created their own with drink, sex, drugs etc.

I think the increased opportunities for town kids with clubs, cinemas, legitimate nights out means they are probably less likely to get into mischief IME. I now live in a city and DS is able to travel by bus and train to anywhere he fancies with no help from me, he has practice rooms and venues for his band, supermarkets & fast food places to loiter in and plenty going on to keep him busy.

we did this a couple of years back, though it was moving 'home' for DP, we can see the PIL across the valley. We partly moved here so the kids would have a relationship with the GPs
and they are thriving in the tiny (42 pupils) village school but it has been a wrench for urban me. I miss decent shops and facilities that don't require an hours drive
I regret that the kids won't grow up surrounded by their friends as I was, never needed a playdate! This is normal for DP who is very unsocial anyway but I have to take them to the park after school, run them to friends houses etc. Sadly the only schoolfriend within walking distance is the school bully
Saying all that they love living here and having a big old house and wooded gardens to run about in is some compensation, I just wish they could share it more with their pals.
We moved from a bad area so this was a good move for us, but I'm still not entirely convinced it was the best. Sorry.

Isolating yourself, without support, before toddler years.

I would leave it for now and assess situation when you have Full Toddler Dom on your hands. Its the last thing I would do with the ages of your children. I am in a town that services dc very well but I still struggle with extremely active DC on wet and winter days. Ideally I would be in London with constant access to musuems etc.

I live in the middle of nowhere and think it is a fantastic environment for children and offers them much more freedom than town living does. One of the advantages of living in such a rural area is that parents have a little more control over who their children socialise with.

As for wet and winter days - what could be more fun that having masses and masses of area to sled, ski etc. We just wrap up warm and get on with it :)

That only works AuntieDee if OP gets a massive garden.
Lots of country houses have pokey gardens, and the countryside itself is off limits (factory floor).

As for wet and winter days - what could be more fun that having masses and masses of area to sled, ski etc. We just wrap up warm and get on with it

where do you live auntie, we rarely get snow down south. so its a wet and miserable winter.

What do you mean you have control over who child socialises with , my child makes friends at school which I have no control over, and always finds a friend in play parks. I have no control over that either!

Wet and miserable is purely in the mind though - I used to play out in the rain as a child. We'd build dens, treehouses - kids are industrious. I had a fantastic childhood playing out in the wet and miserable :)

I've never lived in a country house with a pokey garden, maybe I have been lucky. But then I never really spent much time in the garden anyway - armed with a map and carrier bag, we would ramble footpaths picking edible berries, visit the local farmer and help with bottle feeding lambs, poo pick horse fields for owners in exchange for a 5 minute sit on their horse. I was never bored. I learned to drive a siton lawnmower at 8, a car at 10, a tractor at 13ish.

I can't wait for my children to have this sort of life, rather than being stuck inside because it is 'wet and miserable'

AuntieDee, farms have changed, a lot. Farmers nowadays would be very cautious of random neighbouring children hanging around, and with good reason. I too spent an inordinate amount of time mucking around in and out of barns as a child, but I know that if I asked the DC of local farmers they would be quite at the things we used to do, as they have grown up having it drummed into them that farms are dangerous working environments. Our garden backs onto fields, but other than using the footpaths my DC would never be playing in the fields, and still less in the woods, which are private land too.

Wet and miserable is purely in the mind though - I used to play out in the rain as a child. We'd build dens, treehouses - kids are industrious. I had a fantastic childhood playing out in the wet and miserable

Same here and now my dc do too. Tree climbing, splashing around in the stream, den building and general adventures

We escaped town back to the country and it is by far the best move I've ever made. We do have some neighbours (we live in a hamlet) and to be honest, I find rural life less isolating than town life.

IME, towns are full of busy people. I was surrounded by people but felt alone! In the sticks, people have time to stop and chat, it's important to maintain community links, in part because we really could need each others help at some point. People make more effort, so its been easier to get to know people and easier for my dc too.

Our garden backs onto fields, but other than using the footpaths my DC would never be playing in the fields, and still less in the woods, which are private land too.

We're lucky in that we look out over an AONB. It's a pretty awesome playground

AONBs are still private land, on the whole...

How many people would have their 1 and 2 year olds out day after day, hour after hour in winter, in rain splashing in a stream or running into a farm to pick up horse poo? and eating it.

In my suggestion I said she should wait for toddler age to start before moving.

I spent weeks every year at a rural location and it was glorious, climbing into grain stores making dens from bales of hay, riding horses, running free and yes paddling in a brook, but in clement weather. In rain and cold I was cosied up doing other stuff by a fire. I went out in the rain but not every single time.

Part of it is, Stealth but the majority isn't

(Where I am, I mean!)

'to be honest, I find rural life less isolating than town life.

^this is so true for us, i moved from London, to town, to suburb and now the sticks and people have been warmer and more friendly here than anywhere else. We know loads of people locally that we met through baby groups and playgroup, many more than the griups we attended in our last place (suburbs)

Perhaps we have just been very lucky here, but there is a fantastic sense of community and i feel rooted for the first time in my life.

We live smack bang next to a farm and have never had any issues gong into the fields...in fact ds was oftern offered rides by the two local farmers when he was younger and tractor obsessed, we have helped feed orphaned sheep and been to see lambs born...its lovely here.

I think for the kids if it's a very rural area with a school mostly of children from farms etc rounded up by school bus then it's fine.
However if the rest of the class all live in a village and you are the odd one out living further away then it can be really crap.

I grew up in a very big village. Various shops but apart from the sweet shop, nothing of interest for a teenager.
All my friends lived in the next village, where the school was. Too far to walk or bike, buses every hour. And that was as far from as its possible to be.

So even if you live surrounded by people, your kids friends might still be miles away.

We live rurally and love it. All supermarkets, veg boxes, milk etc deliver. Is there really anywhere without broadband? Ok not super fast but it does stream.

The kids have bikes and can cycle the mileto school, friends etc.

Septic tank
Same difference its full of shite !
Utterly grim- my DF goes on and on about it !

Sounds like you lived in some sort of Enid Blyton novel AuntieDee.

I have a septic tank but it doesn't really come up in conversation in our house! What on earth is there to say about it??!

Well.
"Don't flush the loo" about 50 times a day !
"The tank is full blah blah etc"
"OMG its rained and now flooded "
He never stops...

Rita if you need to be that aware of your septic tank it's not working. Time to get someone to look at it. Do you have it emptied regularly?

We are aware of ours when the drains block, and when it needs emptying (every 18 months or so) but certainly not on a daily basis. You don't need to put up with all that nonsense, really!