*Could* my aged FIL have ordered a cock ring under an alias????

[Joulea]

My neighbour's vibrating cock ring has been delivered to me by mistake. And I know this because in my absence my naughty dogs have ripped the envelope open. It's half destroyed but the address label still clearly shows where it was delivered to. To make matters worse, I don't recognise the name - and a vibrating cock ring is really not the sort of thing you can put through any old neighbour's door. Especially seeing as on one side there was a bereavement at the weekend, and on the other side live.........my ex-in-laws.

What shall I do?! Help!

just knock and ask if they know xxxx (name on package) if they say yes then hand it to them and wink

Hang on, what address does it say? Your house? Did you order a cock ring under an alias???

Did the jack russell order the cock ring?

What are ex pil like? You could have some fun . hope you are detatched

I'd put it in a new envelope and stick the original address label on the front - basically trying to make it look as if it had never been ripped open by a dog and you'd never seen the contents! Then stick it to one side (out of doggy reach) and see if someone dares to come to claim it

Do you have a parish council newsletter, you could pop it under the lost and found?

ohh er...I hope it wasnt your dead neighbour - ??? that would be a touch difficult to explain to his widow

As mrspresley says... never ever ask them if that cock ring was theirS?

you just can't ask.

Put in new envelope. Repost to name and address on original label. When post office staff ask for security purposes what's in the package, have an answer ready.

Take it next door and apologise for the state of it. Explain that it's been through a doggy-style encounter...

This thread had made my day

I don't have any advice on how/whether to broach it, but I'm desperate to know the outcome.

summer

Refer to it as "your special bracelet" and enquire politely if it is to help with his arthritis.

Do make sure you hold it at arms length while wearing a rubber glove. Just the one rubber glove.

Could your JRT have ordered it? Maybe he needs a friend...

Just hand it over and say "This came to my house by mistake. I didn't know you kept poultry"

is there a sender address?

i would return it and say 'delivered to wrong address'

Explain it was used doggy style

I don't think he's missing out on much, cock rings are a bit boring.

I like InfinitySeven's suggestion, though

Snort at sosix

You totally need to pop next door and ask FIL about his package.

Brilliant!

Put a poster up saying 'New cock ring found. Has been licked by jack russell but has not had any cock contamination. If you think this yours please knock'

Please do this.

I would return to sender, and say it was delivered to the wrong address.

ive never heard of a cock ring , wouldnt it stop the blood circulation