AIBU to think that buying a coffee doesn't entitle you to squat in a cafe all afternoon?

[MythicalKings]

Inspired by the "reserving tables" thread.

No problem if it isn't crowded but some groups of people think it's ok to sit for a couple of hours or more in a busy café having only bought one drink each.

Last year in Cornwall I even saw one family sneakily get out a sandwich lunch which they ate furtively.

Last week Dsis and I popped into a cafe for a coffee before embarking on a shopping spree for her newly decorated living room. An hour and a half later we went back for lunch and saw the same group of people at the same table with the same empty coffee cups. It was really busy but they pretended not to notice the hovering people with food laden trays.

It is rude and inconsiderate, isn't it?

Well I'd have to, sooty - I don't give him enough pocket money to be able to afford his own.

"If you see a cafe is crowded and you are going to want a seat go to a different cafe."
That's exactly what people do. And the cafe loses their business. Lose too much, the cafe goes bust - that's the problem.

I don't think anyone has a problem with people 'lingering' if there's plenty of free space. The lingerer feels comfortable and as has already been said, it probably suits the cafe at quiet times to have a table occupied to lure new customers in. Everybody's happy.

The problem is that some lingerers go beyond that. They sit there, seeing the cafe get busy, seeing people struggling for space and they don't feel in the least uncomfortable with that. They are now blocking other people and losing the cafe money. Most people don't do that, they see it busy up around them and they leave. It's only the minority who stay put under these circumstances.

The only solution is for the cafe owner to impose some restrictions. But, asking people to leave, no matter how nicely handled, is a bit of a confrontation - and lots of people struggle to do that. And the lingerers exploit that. It's selfish of them.

Laquila is there any reason you wouldn't offer to pay?

When I worked on a high street I used to go to the cafe next door and have sausage and chips, which took about 15 mins to arrive and get eaten. I'd then spend the last 15 mins of my break sitting quietly and looking out of the window.

This is quite normal behaviour I'm sure. I'm really sure that places don't expect people to stuff it all down get up and rush out.

Actually when we go to the seaside as well and it's raining the cafes are often full of people who are obviously getting out of the rain.

All of this is normal isn't it?

Before there were so many big faceless chains most people didn't expect to sit in other premises using their utilities and not buying anything.

I think the spanish and italians would be aghast at this cut throat approach to cafe culture.

All those poor widowed pensioners out there, wanting to sit and watch the world go by for a few hours, somewhere they feel welcome and safe. Bit of chat, read papers, which they can do at home, isolated and alone.

I think some of the attitudes on here are ghastly.

There is a huge massive market for mums and babes/toddlers round here. Someone opened up a play and stay cafe, the initial interest on FB was immense we were all talking about it, different people at toddler groups, classes " Have you heard, this new cafe opened up, area for them to play etc" so much buzz, I was telling all my friends about it.

A few weeks in, the rules start to come over on FB, You are not allowed to take in a single piece of your own food for your DC. they have everything there. Rude posts about other things, then the owner not even opening on time and people saying " um hello are you open today have been waiting outside for 20 mins" I went in there to meet a friend, ( whom I have raved about it too) and literally, the second I sat down, chatting basically about whether to stay or not, I felt the owners eyes burning into me, there was a crayon and coloring sheet on the table my friends child has been using, mine went to touch the crayon, and I could feel the eyes assessing me and burning " this woman has walked in,not brought anything yet, but her child i using the crayons" And large signs on wall " sorry no bananas today, no panisi no x y and z"

does anyone think we stayed there?

No, we left, as quickly as we could, went to soft play where we can sit for hours, had lunch, Theirs....gave our DC some of ours and their own ( brought from home) and had a good chat while dc played.

are we going back to that cafe? NO. will we recommend others? No will she last, well from comments on her FB page, NO.

money is tight there is a cc on, cafes are a luxery and only pensioners and mums can really afford out of people at home in the day. knowing you have regular payment coming is if v important in such a business, that ££ on a coffee adds up over a year that 2.50 is worth £600 over a year.

Upthechimney they have no need to take up that amount of space, I think it's really rude & self righteous

So it's "rude and self-righteous" for someone on her own to want to sit on a comfortable sofa, rather than a chair, to relax over a cup of coffee? (actually, I don't drink coffee, so it's tea or hot chocolate). But not rude or self-righteous for someone to claim a sofa to bf a child (presumably also on her own)?

I'm always happy for someone to share my sofa, but if there's one free & I need to rest & relax a bit, then I don't see that as rude or self-righteous. And I generally have my tea + a cake or croissant or something, and stay no more than 30 minutes or so.

Asking for a free glass of milk is bonkers, unless it's a "thing" at that particular cafe - the milk is more expensive than the coffee...

However the business plan of most cafés involves attracting people to use them as hang outs - as somebody said up thread, outside of meal times nobody would use them at all if the rule was that you can only sit for as long as it takes to drink a coffee (we can all make coffee at home).

I'm thinking Op means busy cafes where people sit with drinks finished for an eternity when others with food and drinks have nowhere to sit.

Well he's an entitled little bugger, sooty, so I'm trying to teach him the value of money by not giving him any.

Cringe at asking for 'free milk'

pilchard

it is a parallel universe its what cafes are for they are not restaurants.

Sorry, sooty, I was being sarcastic/humorous - I thought it was obvious but I should have made it clearer. Please, as you were...

So it's "rude and self-righteous" for someone on her own to want to sit on a comfortable sofa, rather than a chair, to relax over a cup of coffee? (a

Yes! Rude and self righteous because the other sole person wanting to sit there has not got the confidence to ask you to share but thats your fault.

Oh my word..did anyone realise I was taking the mick or do I need to start putting disclaimers on the bottom of my posts?!...

Going to a caff for lunch and then staying til your break is up is entirely normal isn't it?

I've done it throughout my working life and it's just, well, utterly standard.

It was great back in the day when you could smoke

It really does seem that people don't understand balance and context. Yes of course you can stay longer than the minimum time it takes to drink a coffee but that doesn't mean you can stay indefinitely. If the cafe's empty you can stay for a few hours. If it's very busy drink at your leisure maybe stay for an 10 minutes while you finish your conversation then leave.

So Knitted people on their own shouldn't sit on a sofa at all?

Ah well yes twoshoes but this is another one of those things where people have their own set of rules in their own head that they follow, and get pissed off with people who don't follow, but of course no-one knows what set of rules another person has in their head.

For eg you could follow your rules and think you are being entirely reasonable, meanwhile the poster who said leave as soon as you have finished your drink is in a state of silent rage at your sense of entitlement.

You pay well over the odds for a coffee in a cafe and part of that is because you're renting the table as well as buying your drinks. I think you're entitled to stay for longer than it takes you to just drink the drink.

Also, a customer who comes in several times every week over months or years and lingers over a coffee may well be more valuable than someone who comes in and buys food only once in a blue moon.

I have favourite places where I know they won't try to rush me out and where I can just sit undisturbed without having to spend loads of money.

Having said all that, if the place is really obviously busy then I think it's only polite and reasonable not to hog a table for ages.

"Going to a caff for lunch and then staying til your break is up is entirely normal isn't it?"
Absolutely, but a work break isn't going to be more than an hour, is it? Mine is half an hour. You earlier posted "I used to go to the cafe next door and have sausage and chips, which took about 15 mins to arrive and get eaten. I'd then spend the last 15 mins of my break sitting quietly and looking out of the window." So, you were there for half an hour and you spent a fair bit since you bought food as well as a drink. You're pretty much a cafe's ideal customer I would say! Very profitable for them.

What people are complaining about is people who sit for HOURS having bought one drink. Fine when the cafe's otherwise empty, not so fine when it puts off customers like yourself from even coming through the door because they can see there's nowhere for them to sit and eat. Totally unprofitable for the cafe.

I like all the cafes around me, I don't want any of them to go out of business. If all their customers are like you PilchardPrincess, they won't. But id they are like some of the (in the loosest sense of the word) customers described on this thread, they well might.

Well no I think TBF a lot of people are basically quite angry that sometimes when they go to a cafe and they want a seat there isn't one!

I would say, go to a less crowded cafe. I hate not getting a seat so I don't go into places where there aren't any. That includes pubs, I'd go to the slightly crappy half empty one over the crowded no seats one any day of the week!

I used to sit in Starbucks loads for a while, when I just moved to London (didn't know anyone, and had no money). I had no heating in my flat, and it was winter 2009 - quite cold. Frost breath inside that old building. I had no internet either, which I needed to look for jobs - so I'd sit in Starbucks with my cup of tea, for as long as I felt comfortable. Including if it was busy, because I didn't really have anywhere else to go. So whilst I think it's not great for groups of people to "loiter", I think it's different when it's just 1 person.

Oh and yes at least one person has said the appropriate thing to do is leave as soon as you have finished which is what prompted that post.

You get loads of people hanging around if caffs here all the time whether they are workpeople, old people, mums and whether the caffs are old style or modern chains. It's kind of just totally normal as far as I can see.

Oh, and of course a person on their own can sit on a sofa.

If you need a sofa too, then just ask if you can share. Is it that hard? We're all grown-ups, aren't we?

My lunch break is half an hour. If I went out for lunch I'd expect to take that time to order and eat and drink if I didn't want indigestion.

If I had two or three hours to spare I wouldn't expect to order just one drink then sit for that length of time with an empty cup making no attempt to order another drink. It seems rude to me.