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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that buying a coffee doesn't entitle you to squat in a cafe all afternoon?

253 replies

MythicalKings · 15/02/2015 08:23

Inspired by the "reserving tables" thread.

No problem if it isn't crowded but some groups of people think it's ok to sit for a couple of hours or more in a busy café having only bought one drink each.

Last year in Cornwall I even saw one family sneakily get out a sandwich lunch which they ate furtively.

Last week Dsis and I popped into a cafe for a coffee before embarking on a shopping spree for her newly decorated living room. An hour and a half later we went back for lunch and saw the same group of people at the same table with the same empty coffee cups. It was really busy but they pretended not to notice the hovering people with food laden trays.

It is rude and inconsiderate, isn't it?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 15/02/2015 11:07

It's not custom if people aren't buying anything.

Up to the owners to police though if people think the premises are waiting areas.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 15/02/2015 11:08

I think the message here is - and do please tell us if your cafe owners is to avoid independents.

Go to a large chain where main owner is absent and sit and chat there.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 15/02/2015 11:09

Cafe Culture, its what they are there for to sit and while away a few hours.

ilovesooty · 15/02/2015 11:10

I assume the chains have managers who can take instructions if there is a policy to move on non purchasing individuals.

MaryWestmacott · 15/02/2015 11:11

Problem is, that most people don't want to use cafes as a restaurant other htan at breakfast, lunch and dinner time. (and amazingly how many cafes are only open for 2 meal times). In between that, they might want you to just buy a quick coffee and leave, but as most people can make decent coffee at home now, why would you unless there's a social element or reason to go out for a coffee?

Often, going for a coffee is not about actually consuming the drink, but about finding a convient location to meet up with someone, or a convient place to wait for something, the coffee is an excuse to be there, not the purpose for your visit.

There's a coffee shop I walk past after dropping my DC1 at school every day. One day a week I go in for a coffee as I have 30 minutes between school drop off and going to a toddler group with DC2 round the corner and generally can't be arsed walking home just to walk back again 20 minutes later. I could go for a coffee there every day, I normally do have a cup a coffee at home after school drop off. I only spend the money and have that coffee out on the day it suits me to waste 20-30 minutes. (and it's normally half empty so I'm not nicking a table from someone who 'needs' it). The only other time I go in there for a coffee is when I'm going with another mum for a catch up after school drop off, the purpose of that isn't really to consume coffee, but to sit down and have a natter for a bit in a location that's halfway between both our houses.

Coffee shops are businesses based round people buying something they can produce easily at home for a lot less than the cafe charges - outside of lunchtime, most would be empty on a weekday if it wasn't for someone wanting a reason other than a drink to sit down and happy to pay for the previliage with buying a cuppa. If they don't want people to sit and chat in their cafes, they could ask people to leave promptly, give them time limits, however they might well find a lot of customers aren't all that fussed about the actual coffee.

MiaowTheCat · 15/02/2015 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2015 11:16

I said on the other thread they shouldn't have comfy sofas newspapers and free WiFi if they want you in and out quickly.

TwoOddSocks · 15/02/2015 11:16

Apart from the affect on business owners it's just selfish because you're preventing other people using the cafe. Coffee shops are sociable places so if you want to chat for hours with your friend go at a less busy time, or buy a meal. Sitting for hours nursing a coffee while other people wait for a seat is clearly obnoxious.

I hate the "I do this because I want to so what?!" attitude.

hijk · 15/02/2015 11:22

They are waiting rooms or community centres.

yes they are actually,

we are entitled to kill time in a cafe if we want to, and if it is in line with the owners policy, which 9 times out of 10, it is.

Twooddsaocks, so it is selfish if I am sitting on the seat, but not if you are!?

WinterBranches · 15/02/2015 11:23

I agree it is obnoxious.

I also agree with Miaow that I'm doing my local cafe a bit of a favour by giving it a bit of life on a quiet Tuesday morning! (I am the perfect smug customer!)

ilovesooty · 15/02/2015 11:25

Ah. "Entitled".

Before there were so many big faceless chains most people didn't expect to sit in other premises using their utilities and not buying anything.

ironingismorerelaxingthansex · 15/02/2015 11:26

Overcrowding of local Starbucks/Costas is just one of the reasons I love my English Heritage/National Trust. Free parking and blooming gorgeous food.

OH is an Army Officer and often pops into one to have lunch etc., at the one near him.

Play areas are stunning and the toilet facilities are always spotless as well.

Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2015 11:26

Costas at 8.30am on a weekday in term time. Latte and toast, and the place is empty apart from the take out people. Bliss.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/02/2015 11:28

Yay, the bookmark is back! Grin

Sorry as you were.

Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2015 11:29

yessssssss!!!!!!

Laquila · 15/02/2015 11:31

Could someone enlighten me as to how long I'm allowed to sit in a cafe with a hot drink before I'm considered entitled? Do I get longer if I buy a solitary biscotti, or the like? What about if I ask for a free glass of milk for my toddler, or some toast at an unsuitable time of the day?? Or if I'm a "business type"? If someone could draw up a list of agreed rules I'd really appreciate it, and would presumably stop ruining the lives of all the honest, quick-eating cafe lunchers out there. TIA.

ilovesooty · 15/02/2015 11:34

You'd ask for a free glass of milk for your toddler?

DeliciousMonster · 15/02/2015 11:35

Could someone enlighten me as to how long I'm allowed to sit in a cafe with a hot drink before I'm considered entitled?

How about - until you finish the drink? Why would you be entitled to a free glass of milk?

PilchardPrincess · 15/02/2015 11:38

Before the big faceless chains people went and sat in cafes for ages.

You often get groups of men in for lunch in overalls who consume their food in 10 mins and then sit for the rest of their break reading the paper.

Ditto where I live it's the independent cafes that are full of pensioners as they are a lot cheaper. Presumably that's even worse - lingering over an 80p coffee rather than a £2.50 one

PilchardPrincess · 15/02/2015 11:39

If you only want people to use cafes for 5 mins and then get up and leave a lot will shut down.

The primary point of a cafe is not for many people about the drink at all.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 15/02/2015 11:40

This thread is bonkers!

I cannot believe some of you are seriously suggesting cafes - a business - are places to hang out for free while you are not eating or drinking?! Just how entitled are you? Once you finish your drink/meal you ship out.

Cafe culture includes the partaking of beverages while you pass the time. It is not an indoor version of the park bench.

ilovesooty · 15/02/2015 11:42

No one said people should be there for five minutes - just that people should be consuming stuff they have paid for while they're sitting there.

PilchardPrincess · 15/02/2015 11:43

That's how some of them are set up.
They want people to come in, and the way they get people to come in, is by offering them a place to sit and chat / read the paper / whatever.

I don't understand this. My town is full of cafes which are usually half full of pensioners sitting for a long time over a cup of tea and maybe a cake. This needs to be banned? They are selfish and entitled?

Yes I agree this thread is bonkers.

PilchardPrincess · 15/02/2015 11:45

5 minutes is how long it takes to finish a drink generally.

A plate of food will only take a few mins also.

Loads of cafes round here with workmen / pensioners sitting around after they have finished their drink / food / whatever. That's part of the reason they are there in the first place.

If they get shifted out then they will find somewhere else to sit for their break and the business has lost a regular customer.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 15/02/2015 11:46

what about slow eaters and drinkers and quick ones?

somoene wolfs down lunch its whipped away you walk in and say they are clogging up space?

but someone with half lunch in front thats oK....