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AIBU?

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Original poster

Are nappies at 7 years old unreasonable?

77 replies

benetint · 14/02/2015 17:44

Dd is five years old (and five months). She has been dry during the day since she was two years and nine months. However she is still in nappies at night. I mentioned it to the health visitor when DD was 4 and they said nappies at night weren't an issue till children were seven. So we left it a bit longer, hoping she would develop the biological control naturally. Every night though dd fills her nappy (just urine) and the nights we have tried to go without she has wet the bed repeatedly. Dd isn't embarrassed at all about wearing nappies and we haven't really said anything to her about it as we don't want her to be upset or create an issue. Do you think we should wait till she is seven and try again? Any help or advice would be really appreciated. thanks do much

OP posts:
AlmaMartyr · 14/02/2015 17:48

I know quite a few six year old still wearing nappies at night, if that helps. I also know a few people that got help from a clinic (referred by the Children's Centre) when their DCs were about 5 to help with it, and they say they found it useful but mixed results. So I guess it depends how bothered you are by it?

afreshstartplease · 14/02/2015 17:49

We stopped bed pull ups at just after 5

Dc are 5 and 7

Both have atleast two accidents per month sometimes up to 5 each

lotsofcheese · 14/02/2015 17:50

Watching with interest! My DS has just turned 6 & it's exactly the same here.

My HV told me about the ERIC website. There are a few suggestions there, but my understanding is to push fluids during the day & consider waking them up fully to wee when asleep at night.

I haven't really tackled it as DS doesn't seem ready.

storynanny2 · 14/02/2015 17:52

My eldest wore a nappy at night until he was 7, just one of those things. Not worth worrying about in my opinion, all children are different. My next son was dry day and night in one training a week before his second birthday. Third son dry at night by 3 ish.
All seem to have normal bladders as adults as far as I know!

ooerrmissus · 14/02/2015 17:53

I'd wait. 7 really isn't uncommon to still not be dry. Make sure she isn't drinking loads just before bed, and she does use the loo at bedtime. You could try lifting her as well, some people find it very effective but it didn't work for either of mine.

If she's filling the nappy it makes more sense to leave her in them and spare yourself the laundry. If she starts having dry nights then consider taking them off.

hijk · 14/02/2015 17:53

speak to your gp. My DS friend is 15 now, and has never developed any night time bladder control at all. He started treatment at 7, but it had more chance of being successful if he had started younger.

Olivo · 14/02/2015 17:54

My DD was dry at night just before her 6th birthday. She went from soaked pj pants to totally dry almost overnight. It was just her time. DD2 was dry day and night at 2.2 but her best friend still wears pj pants at 5 1/2.

Idefix · 14/02/2015 17:58

5.5 is still quite young. If she is showing no signs I would say she is not ready. I think the reason the HV said 7yrs is because this might the age that your dd can be referred to the enurisis service.
I always remember the sage words given to me by a consultant that in his experience my son would almost certainly be dry by the time he would be going to secondary school and failing that by he time he left that school...he was not wrong Grin
Give her time op, she will get there.

ATisketATasket · 14/02/2015 18:06

You could speak to school nurse as they usually manage things like this, but it does still fall within 'normal' at 5.
Eric website has some useful resources. Agree with poster about drinking plenty in the day. I also heard blackcurrant can irritate the bladder (?) so its often recommended to decrease or cut that out.
i also heard that modern nighttime pull-ups are so effective at keeping the child dry, that they don't realise they are wet...a few weeks of waking to wet sheets is a pain, but you could possibly try cloth as an experiment?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/02/2015 18:08

benetint there are loads of threads about this very common subject but IME , nappies/pull ups absorb and keep the wearer dry (unlike the old style terry nappies and plastic pants that cut into your legs and hold the wee in)

If you take your child for a wee at night wake them up don't let them dream wee. Make sure they do pee, not just sit on the loo, "done now" and back to bed (resulting in a peed bed)
I used to run the tap and tell them to "Listen" , but they had to be awake.

Certain drinks (cola,cocoa,blackcurrant) is worse.

We did the measuring in a plastic jug (holding the bladdder -not the early morning wee- until it was full then measure how much . Do once a week , it should increae)

20p in a jar for every dry night (worked best)

If they peed because they CBA going for a wee (and yes it did happen ) they stripped their own beds and remade them. 30 seconds of effort on their part saved 30 minutes work for me. So the only way to get them to realise was to get them to do it.

IIRC they won't refer a child until 7yo.
But have a search by subject, lots to read .

justkeeponsmiling · 14/02/2015 18:09

My DD used to wet the bed till the age of 8. By the time she stopped I was getting desperate! All the professionals seemed to think it wasn't a big issue but she wanted to go for sleepovers and had a school trip with an overnight stay looming and she was getting really upset with the whole issue.
In the end this is what did the trick: we gave her loads and loads to drink during the day! Sounds mad I know but the last GP we went to for advice suggested she might have a small bladder and said we might be able to stretch it by giving her loads of drinks during the day. It was magical! After trying so many different things to sort the problem, within about a week or two she was dry at night! She maybe had another one or two accidents within the following couple of weeks but that was it!
This was a couple of years ago and we haven't looked back.
Hth :)

sticklebrickstickle · 14/02/2015 18:12

I believe the reason children often aren't referred until 7 is because a lot of children who wet the bed at 4/5/6 years old will have outgrown it by the time they turn seven.

Approximate bedwetting rates are:
Age 5: 20%
Age 6: 10–15%
Age 7: 7%
Age 10: 5%
Age 15: 1–2%
Age 18–64: 0.5–1%

Bedwetting is pretty common in young children with 1 in 5 children wetting the bed and 65% of children who wet the bed aged 5 have developed nighttime control by the time they are seven. It isn't classed as a medical problem with young children.

Bed-wetting beyond aged seven is much less common and thus from that point classed as a medical condition which may require treatment (although many children would still outgrow it without treatment).

I really wouldn't worry yet about your DD being in nappies at night at 5, particularly if it doesn't bother her. I don't think you should take her out of them if she isn't ready - it will just make her uncomfortable and lead to more washing for you. She definitely won't be the only child in her class who is not yet dry at night and there is a good chance she will be dry at night by the time she reaches seven anyway.

In the meantime I agree with previous posters that you could try some simple changes such as ensuring she drinks plenty during the day and practices holding on rather than weeing as soon as she feels the need. Also no dark coloured, acidic or caffeinated liquids with dinner and after dinner only sips of water if she is hungry. Take DD for a wee before bed, then clean teeth and wee again to ensure she has properly emptied her bladder.

Obviously if as she gets older she doesn't gain nighttime control I would definitely go back to your doctor who may be able to help, but really aged 5 this is very common and nothing to worry about yet.

Bluepants · 14/02/2015 18:13

5.5 is still youngish. Wait it out until she is at least past her 6th birthday. My dd was 5.11 when she became dry at night. Both dcs were potty trained relatively easily at 2 and the other dc was dry at night at 3. It felt like forever before dd was dry at night and felt like it was never going to happen. But then it did! I still walk past the nappy aisle in the supermarket in disbelief that I don't have to buy them any more.

Branleuse · 14/02/2015 18:15

you cant really train them to be dry at night. Its something that happens with maturity, and it isnt an unusual problem for a child to be wetting the bed at that age. There isnt a right or wrong about it

Aeroflotgirl · 14/02/2015 18:18

My dd nearly 8 has been dry at night for 6 months, she has ASD and developmental delay, and I thought we would never get there. She told me that she did not want to wear nappies at night. I got an alarm, which she hated, so she knew that if she wet the bed, I would put the alarm on, it worked. I just take her to the loo before I go to bed, and she is dry for the night.

candyflosssky · 14/02/2015 18:22

My DS is a bed wetter, and would be mortified to be in nappies. I just use a plastic sheet under his bedclothes.

WhyDoesEveryoneHateMe · 14/02/2015 18:23

How can it be 'unreasonable'? Either your child is dry or not. My ds has been under a pead for over three years, is almost eight and is still on the waiting list fir the enuresis clinic. It is hormonal, to do with bladder capacity. Not something you can control at all.

candyflosssky · 14/02/2015 18:24

It can be unreasonable if the child sees it as humiliating or distressing. Obviously this isn't the case with the OP but I have heard nappies being used as a threat if bed wetting doesn't stop.

LokiBear · 14/02/2015 18:31

This thread is really helpful (sorry to hijack, op) my mil regularly comments on the fact that my 3 year old is still in pull ups at night. I'm sick of being told to take her out of them and just lift her onto the toilet when I go to bed. HV told me it is a hormonal thing that triggers being dry through the night. I was beginning to doubt myself and worrying that I should be training dd. Thanks.

IEatBadgers · 14/02/2015 18:35

My ds is 7 and was in pull ups at night until recently. Then one day he just didn't need them any more. There was nothing he could do about it and there was nothing we could do about it. It was either pull ups or a sopping wet bed every night.

itsveryyou · 14/02/2015 18:41

My DS was 6 before he was reliably dry, every night. I read somewhere that it's to do with their pituitary gland and night time wetting can continue until that's fully developed.

WineWineWine · 14/02/2015 18:59

He started treatment at 7, but it had more chance of being successful if he had started younger
Treatment is not more effective if it is started younger.
Treatment works in conjunction with a child's development so starting it any younger would have no effect.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/02/2015 19:03

We were told it is a rarity that hormones are involved (and it's something they test to rule out early on), as well as infections, diabetes (including diabetes insipidus)

Scans to make sure their bladders were emptying properly

Deep sleepers don't always wake in time

The size of a childs bladder

When I was a child, my brain weaved elaborate dreams for me that I had gone to the loo and I was sitting on the toilet, so my bladder obliged Hmm

And I could sleep through anything.

CynthiaDelgado · 14/02/2015 19:16

Ds1 dry at 11
Ds2 dry at just turned 2
Ds3 still wetting at 6.

As everyone says its hormonal she will be dry when she's ready.

Choccybaby · 14/02/2015 19:18

As long as DD is happy I don't think there's a problem. Some kids aren't so happy in nappies though.
I wet the bed until I was 8 and still remember my mum forcing me into a nappy at around 7. To be honest if anything it made things worse. What worked for me was a plastic cover and teaching me to change my own sheets when they were wet.