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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are nappies at 7 years old unreasonable?

77 replies

benetint · 14/02/2015 17:44

Dd is five years old (and five months). She has been dry during the day since she was two years and nine months. However she is still in nappies at night. I mentioned it to the health visitor when DD was 4 and they said nappies at night weren't an issue till children were seven. So we left it a bit longer, hoping she would develop the biological control naturally. Every night though dd fills her nappy (just urine) and the nights we have tried to go without she has wet the bed repeatedly. Dd isn't embarrassed at all about wearing nappies and we haven't really said anything to her about it as we don't want her to be upset or create an issue. Do you think we should wait till she is seven and try again? Any help or advice would be really appreciated. thanks do much

OP posts:
Sapat · 14/02/2015 22:19

Dd wore nappies at night until 6 and would not be seen at the clinic until she was over 7, they were right, she stopped night wetting at some point in her 6th year.
DS1 was dry day and night by 3.

ChillySundays · 14/02/2015 22:42

OP - when you say nights do you mean you have tried to go without nappies for more than a night in a row or do you have one night of wetting and then go back to nappies? It is a good few years ago but my HV said my DD was wetting her nappy because she had one on and I should grab the bull by the horns. I can't remember if it took one or two nights but she didn't like a wet bed.

It is certainly not unusual for a 5 yr old to still be wetting and imagine that the GP will just fob you off for another few year. My friend's chidl was at the top end of primary school.

Each child is different and the best thing to do is try and relax about it

Mixtape · 14/02/2015 22:46

Also on the topic of lifting, I was
told by nurse at the continence
clinic that it was absolutely pointless for helping a bedwetting child.

hijk · 14/02/2015 22:48

mixtape, it most certainly does help the child not wet the bed, because the pee has gone down the toilet. Your post makes no sense.

sticklebrickstickle · 14/02/2015 22:57

hoobypickywicky I don't know of any parents who lift as a matter of course (not there myself yet as DD not at toilet training stage yet), my friends who have older children either seemed to have children who were dry at night on potty training or kept them in pull-ups until they did over time become dry at night.

In term's of it's use lifting is not recommended by medical professionals as it can be counter-productive and work to delay the child becoming dry at night. Usually when lifting children are not awakened fully so they get used to urinating in their sleep and they don't learn to either hold on or wake up on their own to get up and use the toilet.

DixieNormas · 14/02/2015 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mixtape · 14/02/2015 23:11

As I say, this was told to me by the continence nurse. Yes, the urine in the bladder present at 11pm, or whenever you lift, goes into the toilet but the body continues to produce urine overnight, even if drinks have been limited. If your child wets because their bladder is too small, or because their brain is not triggered to wake up due to be being a deep sleeper they will simply wet the bed later in the night or in the early hours of the morning.

Mixtape · 14/02/2015 23:14

It also doesn't help the child develop a sense of needing the loo because they will often not be aware of going when lifted.

hijk · 14/02/2015 23:24

I always woke mine up thoroughly.

trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 23:54

No, nothing wrong imo. I have twins and one was dry from 2 at night. The other was not dry until.... Well actually he's ten and still has the odd accident. We have moved from dry night nappies to bed mats only in the last couple of years. I have a friend who wet the bed til she was fifteen. Perfectly normal adult now. I think the worst thing you can do is fuss on and stress about it. They make dry nights for up to fifteen year olds.

imjustahead · 14/02/2015 23:58

i used a bed wetting alarm religiously for 2 weeks. dd was ten, she was dry within about 3 weeks.

trashcanjunkie · 15/02/2015 00:00

Lifting made no difference to us, and no I never did it with my other two. Bed wetting happens because the body is yet to produce a particular enzyme which concentrates the urine overnight. Without it being produced, bed wetting can occur. This is relevant if the child has never been dry at night. I don't know about lapses.

We could lift ds at say midnight, but the majority of wetting happened just before he woke in the morning.... Between four and six am. Now if it happens, he just sorts his we pjs out, strips them off, and gets in with us. Next day I bung the sheet in the wash and change the bed mat.... Job done, no drama. It happens once every other month is so, as opposed to nightly when in nappies/ dry nights. We moved out of them when he was dry for six out of seven nights...

fizzycolagurlie · 15/02/2015 03:09

Can you put a potty next to the bed and ask her to use that in the night? That's how I transitioned my DD from night nappies to none (she was a bit younger and did have a few accidents but the reassurance of having a potty there definitely helped).

Get her to go to the loo before bed, put the potty on a newspaper or towel and get a water proof sheet to cover the mattress under her own sheet. Then if there is an accident, you can whip off the wet sheet and put a fresh one on while also getting her to use the potty while you change the bed.

Good luck.

SummerHouse · 15/02/2015 07:14

This is a thread I could have started for ds 5 yrs 4 months. I stopped the sticker chart incentive a day ago. He would wake up excitedly telling me he was dry not realising that he wasn't. I am not going to make him feel bad for doing something he has no control over. He has never seen nappies as a problem so until he does I am not going to mention it to him again. I am also happily shedding that nagging feeling i should be lifting him. I found it a little heartbreaking. I am really pleased to have read this one! Thanks for starting it op.

Fourarmsv2 · 15/02/2015 08:16

I was also told by the continence clinic NOT to lift Summerhouse :)

neverputasockinatoaster · 15/02/2015 09:09

DD is 7.
She still wears pull ups at night. A couple of times we've tried just using bed mats and double making the bed so I just needed to strip one sheet off but we just had weeks of wet beds.
She's currently back in pull ups but we are getting a few dry nights each week.
DS was dry by about 6.
If DD is still in pull ups by 8 I'll look into help.

Bugsylugs · 15/02/2015 09:25

Mine was similar and actually you should be referred from 5 years onwards. Generally they don't bother till 7 though.

I was at an update course with one of the consultants from ERIC and asked him as mine was completely soaked every night never been dry.

He obviously asked lots of questions I already knew he had good bladder capacity, didn't struggle to start flow etc he did point out that modern nappies and pull ups stop a child from registering that they are wetting/ are wet. As he suggested we put him in PJ bottoms one of those towelling plastic backed sheets over his sheet and one under so only needed to pull top one off. After about week he started to have the odd dry night then was very quick. If nothing after a week would have gone back to pull ups if he had wanted. In his case he was just not aware of weeing as could not feel it is a very heavy sleeper. He has last night slept through a hotels fire alarm!

Good luck whatever you decide be a bit guided by how your lo feels.

SummerHouse · 15/02/2015 18:28

fourarms thank you! My instinct said no. And now I can justify it. I don't know why but I found it a horrible thing to do. Perhaps because he was so peaceful and deeply asleep.

BongoT · 15/02/2015 19:41

Try beating your LO with a cane every time they wet the bed. It seemed to work for my dad. Of course, all it taught me was where the clean sheets are and how to use the quick wash cycle.

Original poster
benetint · 15/02/2015 20:00

Thanks for your messages everyone, I'm so touched you've all taken the time to reply. And what a relief too, thanks again

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 15/02/2015 20:03

Ds is 10 and has only just cracked it and its taken aaaaages.
He is om two tablets every night and had to use an alarm for a while to.

firefly78 · 15/02/2015 20:09

slight hijack but do nappies hold more than pull ups?

Finnbheara · 15/02/2015 20:21

DS is 5.5 yrs and up until six weeks ago he was soaking every single night. He was in nappies but we regularly had to change him in the middle of the night because he was soaked through to the bed. I was nothing but patients and prepared for him to grow out of it.

Anyway one night I was reading him his bedtime story and as he was listening he peed in the bed. I was shocked and very upset and it probably definitely wasn't my finest parenting moment but I did lose my temper. I made it absolutely clear in no uncertain terms that peeing in the bed was not on. From that moment on he has not worn a nappy. He still has very occasional accidents but they are normally just before he wakes up in the morning.

Now I'm not saying that this is what is going on for most children, after all DS is a sample of one, but I have become convinced that there is a lot more psychologically going on with bed wetting than is commonly acknowledged.

skylark2 · 15/02/2015 20:30

DD was the same at night as she was in the day - she was never ever dry if there was anything on her bottom half.

When we took the pullups and pyjama bottoms off she was dry instantly.

Obviously not going to be the answer for every child, but might be worth a try.

"do parents not lift as a matter of course these days?"

Have they ever? My kids are older, but lifting was always something you tried as a last resort if they didn't become dry by themselves. I don't know anyone who started lifting a toddler at the same time as toilet training - we never considered it and DD was dry during the day a year before she was dry at night.

CookieWarbler · 15/02/2015 21:35

I think I have just (fingers crossed) conquered this with my DD (6). She had been dry in the day since 2 and a half but never at night. I tried lifting her for around 9 months as she was fed up with pull ups at night and didn't want to be a 'baby'. I finally decided to try a bed wetting alarm a few weeks ago and although we're still using it, she has now been dry for two weeks and she's waking herself and going to the loo or sleeping through. She's so much happier and I wish I had done it sooner. I did buy an expensive wireless alarm but it was worth every penny! Good luck OP