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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Been pondering this, to have firmly said 'no' to random child at soft play

52 replies

VulvaVoom · 14/02/2015 11:40

Took 2 year old DD to soft play yesterday. She was climbing up to the big slide using the graduated large steps and I was stood behind her watching, close by but not right behind.

A boy who looked about 5 climbed up past DD and turned as she was climbing to kick her deliberately in the face ( it was definitely deliberate) He saw me looking, looked a bit ashamed so I said 'No' to him quite firmly and he turned and carried on climbing.

Was that OK? Think I would be happy for someone to say that to DD if she'd done the same. He missed her mostly anyway but wanted to let him know it's not right to do that.

OP posts:
PatMullins · 14/02/2015 11:41

Yep I would have done the same

ArcheryAnnie · 14/02/2015 11:43

Good grief, I tell random children off all the time if they are doing something which is very likely to hurt another child! I have been expecting a punch in the face from some offended parent for about a decade, but it hasn't come yet. You can bet I'd have said a firm no if one trampled all over DS.

PacificDogwood · 14/02/2015 11:43

Of course YANBU.

I fully expect other people to point it out to my DC if they behave in an unacceptable manner - ofter much more effective to be told off by a stranger Grin

Shil0846 · 14/02/2015 11:43

Absolutely right

editthis · 14/02/2015 11:44

Of course! It's not mean and you weren't showing favouritism to your own child, and the parents presumably couldn't see what he'd done to remonstrate with him themselves.

jerryfudd · 14/02/2015 11:45

Yep, I would say fine. If parents had an issue with it I would be more than happy to explain why I told their thug "no"

pilates · 14/02/2015 11:46

Def YANBU.

You have to protect your DD, she is only 2.

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2015 11:46

No, it wasn't.

You should have stood there and watched your DD get a good kicking...

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/02/2015 11:49

If you hadn't said anything it would have BU.
Was this an area for toddlers (some Soft Play sites have separate age zones)
Of course it isn't ok for a 5yo to aim a kick at a 2yo.
Even if it was my DS aiming a crafty swipe at his sister (when they were little) it wouldn't be accepted, so I certainly wouldn't take it from a stranger.

ilovesooty · 14/02/2015 11:50

I daresay someone will be along soon to remonstrate with the poster who called the child a thug.

Ratbagcatbag · 14/02/2015 11:52

I once kicked a whole herd of teens out of the under 4s area at soft play, they were playing tag and wiped out some toddlers. I explained politely that it was under 4 in that area. They ignored me and bowled over another child. At that point I was fairly strong in that they left that area now or I would be fetching a team member to evict them from the whole centre. They went and told their mums. I was expecting a right row, the mums shrugged, pointed at the ginormous over fours area they could play in and went back to drinking coffee. I did get evil teen girl glares all afternoon though.

I tell my dd (nearly 2) off s well as others though.

5dogsgoswimming · 14/02/2015 12:03

Yes!

TwoOddSocks · 14/02/2015 14:02

I practically threw a ~7 year old girl off my son once. She had come into the baby area of soft play and had put her foot on him (he had only just learned to walk) and was about to put her weight on him to climb onto the roof of the play house. I only had time to dive over and shove her off so that's what I did (sending her falling into the ball pit, unhurt thankfully). Then told her and her friends to get out of this section a they were too big. I would do it again and I'm a big softie.

I don't like people speaking harshly to my PFB but if he was being too rough with another child they can certainly take reasonable measures to stop him.

candyflosssky · 14/02/2015 14:07

Well I don't want to sound contentious but why on earth would you think yourself remotely unreasonable?

AdamantEve · 14/02/2015 14:08

You did the right thing, definitely don't dwell on it. I shouted at full volume at three 5-6 year old boys who had my DD on the floor pulling her hair and squashing her when she was 2 years old. She had gone out of my sight for a moment while I picked younger DC up out of the ball pool and they pounced. Still fuming now when I think about it. We don't often go to soft play now and only with a 1:1 adult child ratio, - horrible places!

FranTan · 14/02/2015 14:09

Tbh I think I would have done more than that; most likely insisted he came to me, got down to his level and explained in no uncertain terms that if I caught him doing it again, he would be in serious trouble. Come to think of it, I've done precisely this on a couple of occasions. My protective instinct takes control and I feel furious Angry

Original poster
VulvaVoom · 14/02/2015 14:39

I suppose I'm just wondering if any parents would take offence candy.

I did want to say a lot more to him tbh but managed to leave it at that.

OP posts:
LadyLuck10 · 14/02/2015 14:44

Wow you are actually questioning this. As worra said, you should have let him kick her then.

UncleT · 14/02/2015 15:04

It really scares me that people need to ask if it's OK to tell another child not to kick theirs in the face.

Marylou62 · 14/02/2015 15:05

As a nanny who is often in soft play and has worked in one...NYANBU...I saw an older boy kick my 2 year old charge with quite some force...deliberately, not accidentally...I took him to his father, told him and said I will be telling the childs parents...dad looked slightly ashamed but said nothing...and you wonder why kids behave like this...I always say its not what the kids do, its how the parents deal with it...says a mother of an x biter..(who incidently is now a grown man and is known for being kind...I must have dealt with him well?)

flora717 · 14/02/2015 16:12

There ARE parents who would take offence (the one I told 'we don't hit' 's mother who screeched at me to keep my fat nose out of her business). But seriously I'd still be clear with kids thinking they can get away with deliberate rough behaviour.

Nerf · 14/02/2015 16:15

Why not just post about the annoying but at soft play rather than some crap AIBU ? Fgs all you did was say no, why do people post these stupid questions. Can't you just start a thread in chat?

Nerf · 14/02/2015 16:16

Boy not but

Blazing88 · 14/02/2015 16:17

I think you were very restrained!

Tbh I think I would have done more than that; most likely insisted he came to me, got down to his level and explained in no uncertain terms that if I caught him doing it again, he would be in serious trouble.

^^ I would also have done this. I have no problem making a child's bottom lip wobble! Nasty little....

mindthegap79 · 14/02/2015 16:30

I hate soft play. Dd loves it though. Yesterday I had a word with a school age girl (mysteriously not in school on a school day) not to body plant into the ball pit where my 11 month old was busily burrowing with her pals. I would have spoken to the mother too, but she was busy wiping sick off her younger child's leg and then releasing her and her germs straight back into the bouncy castle bit. Grim. We left shortly after...