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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu about baby on changing table?

41 replies

caeleth84 · 13/02/2015 21:23

I'm having issues with Dh and his sense of risk (or lack thereof). Ds2 is 3 months, and has just learnt to roll from back to front. It takes him a few seconds to go all the way over, he's quite quick.

We have a changing table that's quite high up, say 1.2m or so. There's a gap between it and the wall big enough for baby to fit, and a small gap (and 30 cm drop) to the sink and table thingie on the other side. Floor is tiled. Toilet is 2m away.

So Aibu to think it there is a risk, and an unacceptable one at that, to putting baby on changing table and going to the toilet (standing, with back to baby, albeit with head turned)?

OP posts:

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:24

YANBU..... Of course there is.

Get rid of changing table, thats for teeny tiny babies.

A mat on the floor is a must now.

pudcat · 13/02/2015 21:26

Good gracious YANBU. How stupid.

originalusernamefail · 13/02/2015 21:26

YANBU I actually had my hands on DS and he still rolled off the bed . Babies are like greased weasels and he won't be able to catch him if he falls.

jendot2 · 13/02/2015 21:27

No way... Never ever leave baby of any age on a changing table...if he falls off onto the tiled floor.... It literally takes seconds.

GetSober · 13/02/2015 21:28

YANBU, and by DC2 your DH really ought to know better! At the very least, he's looking at having to clean up a massive arc of wee sprayed across the floor and wall, as he turns to intercept your DS's plummet to freedom...

At worst - yeah. Bad. Change on the floor from now on.

TheIronGnome · 13/02/2015 21:42

You don't need to ditch the table, but the lack of awareness needs tackling- that will not be resolved by removal of a changing table.

I have used changing tables for much bigger and older babies and toddlers, I keep one hand on them at all times if reaching for something like the bin or a new nappy and have never had a problem. I also don't allow rolling on any form of mat during nappy changing times to try to discourage it! (hopeful!)

One hand at least, at all times then the slightest hint of a roll and I'm right there.

Original poster

caeleth84 · 13/02/2015 21:44

Gah, thank you. I'm starting to question my sanity, as I really thought he'd learned by now. But I am completely and utterly unable to convince him that it is risky in the least. It sadly joins a long line of safety issues he refuses to contemplate, but this one is just so simple i cannot understand how he fails to understand it. Any tips on how to hammer this home?

It also makes me wonder how many times ds1 was left similarly. Thankfully he wasn't a very wriggly child except for a brief changing-hating period where he had to be pinned to the floor... Maybe he was too easy.

OP posts:

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:47

Ditching the table takes that particular risk out of the equation.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:48

Some people need things taken away from them then they can tackle the next one.

pudcat · 13/02/2015 21:50

Find photos on Google of babies with head injuries and show them to your husband.

DoJo · 13/02/2015 21:52

Any tips on how to hammer this home?

Remove and dismantle the changing table
Replace with mat on floor
Refuse to enter into discussion on the matter

Purplepoodle · 13/02/2015 21:57

Changing tables just encourage risk. Just too tempting to leave baby on to get a nappy or something. Ditch it and go for mat on the floor.

BackforGood · 13/02/2015 21:57

Well, it wont help with future risk assessme ts, bu getting the cha ging table out of the house will at least take that risk away.

Topseyt · 13/02/2015 21:58

One way to get the message across here - get rid of the table. Leave only a changing mat.

Babies can fall off tables. They can't fall off the floor. I'm amazed your husband doesn't seem to accept or understand that.

Original poster

caeleth84 · 13/02/2015 22:15

getsober I love that imagery, made me chuckle.

I see the point of getting rid of the table, but it'll have to be a last resort. I love that table, makes it so much easier as everything I need is within reach and the toddler can't run away. Since I do the majority of diapers it'd be really annoying to have to get rid. But, unless I convince Dh it's either that or never let him change another diaper unsupervised.. Lose - lose situation for me, bah.

I think he just doesn't understand the idea of minimizing risk at all. Unless something is obviously going to occur imminently it doesn't need considering at all. I really need to get to the root of that behavior I think. Otherwise it's just a matter of time before something bad happens that could've been easily prevented. And I don't want to go around knowing that and having nothing to do than hope it isn't serious for the DSs...

OP posts:

Only1scoop · 13/02/2015 22:18

Yanbu of course dc shouldn't be left on table.

Kittymum03 · 13/02/2015 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only1scoop · 13/02/2015 22:20

I loved my changing table.... it's not the table it's your Dh!!

GetSober · 13/02/2015 23:25

Yeah it's a lovely mental picture isn't it

From the sound of it, you have more to do than just sort the change table issue. Your DH needs to develop that risk assessment judgement - you won't always be around to backstop him. The tricky bit is finding situations that will allow your DH to develop that judgement without putting your DC in real danger. I always used to eg move anything on the dinner table that DH had carelessly left within range of DS. I don't bother any more - once he'd lost a few handfuls of his puddings, had his phone knocked to the floor and had some teaspoons dumped in his drinks, he started getting the idea...

MoanCollins · 13/02/2015 23:39

Is there a reason why he can't just put the baby on the floor for a moment?

Original poster

caeleth84 · 14/02/2015 03:08

Hmm, yes, I do all that too, getsober. Will stop immediately, it's an easy one to start with at least.

moancollins no, no reason other than he considers the changing table no risk at all, so it's easier than putting a towel or sth on the floor. There is a perfectly nice baby mat in the living room 5m away, could've put him there too with no effort..

OP posts:

Original poster

caeleth84 · 14/02/2015 03:09

kittymum unfortunately it's the only suitable place for the table :/

OP posts:

BOFster · 14/02/2015 03:14

It's a completely unacceptable risk. A family friend's baby rolled off the bed and sustained serious brain injuries.

I'm no helicopter parent, but some stuff you don't compromise on.

Jenny70 · 14/02/2015 03:29

I agree there are other issues at play, but perhaps deal with this one first.

Would he respond to a risk/consequence/prevention approach.... firstly agree with him what the consquence of baby falling would be - does he agree that it would cause baby serious injury to fall that distance onto tiles (let alone clipping corners or hitting other things on the way down)? Even if you were fortunate and baby was not injured, chances are you would need medical advice that all was OK as baby is too young to tell you what was bumped/hurts etc. So that means an emergency trip to dr, A&E etc which is necessary, but a PIA when we all have busy lives (and other children to juggle).

If he does agree on consequences, then say what are the chances of it happening? Is baby capable of rolling/wiggling off? (yes) Are you able to move 2m and catch a wriggling falling obect from across the room mid-pee? (no). Even if you can't agree on the liklihood of this, move on.

What things can be put in place to prevent it? Easy, no pee breaks, quick nappy change, no "going to get stuff" etc. Or changing on floor. Surely even if it was a one in a million chance of a serious injury, but you could prevent it easily - wouldn't you still do it? and chances are it is much higher than that, and serious consequences...

Then tackle the other risky things, or his general risk assessment.

AcrossthePond55 · 14/02/2015 03:37

Roll an egg off the table so it breaks? Maybe a cantaloupe so he can see it 'splat'? Kick him in the bollocks? Put him on a tall wall and push him off & see how he likes it?

There are none so blind than those who will not see. Is there anyone he will listen to? I mean, he should listen to you, of course, but he isn't. What about a brother, friend, or his dad?

Can't he just put the baby in his crib when he has to go to the loo?

If all else fails, you'll have to get rid of the table, unfortunately.

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