Aibu about baby on changing table?

[caeleth84]

I'm having issues with Dh and his sense of risk (or lack thereof). Ds2 is 3 months, and has just learnt to roll from back to front. It takes him a few seconds to go all the way over, he's quite quick.

We have a changing table that's quite high up, say 1.2m or so. There's a gap between it and the wall big enough for baby to fit, and a small gap (and 30 cm drop) to the sink and table thingie on the other side. Floor is tiled. Toilet is 2m away.

So Aibu to think it there is a risk, and an unacceptable one at that, to putting baby on changing table and going to the toilet (standing, with back to baby, albeit with head turned)?

I could describe what a baby who has broken their femur looks like? I looked after one recently who had rolled off a bed during a nappy change while their parent crossed the room to get something. Beds being considerably closer to the ground than 1.2m.

Your DH is an arse and one that makes me extremely angry. It's a pointless and unnecessary risk to take.

Unfortunately, the consequences of allowing him to realise what a stupid risk he's taking involve the possibility of pain and injury to your son. Can you somehow block off the gap at the sides so even if the baby does roll over he can't roll off?

How utterly annoying.
Does he actually not understand?
Or does he just not like being told?
What were the other examples?

Do you need to borrow my shovel?

I would get rid of changing table. It is easy to store mats in various rooms. I have spent years moving stuff that dp leaves in middle of floor where ds will trip, moving hot drinks out of the way and even turning pan handles out of the way. Some people just don't learn until something shit happens. Until your ds is a bit older you will need to minimise risk for him.

I'd like to think thatd work jenny70, but he just will not agree that there is a risk in the slightest, because he can catch the baby before he falls off. And he just doesn't get the whole reducing risk, so even if it takes absolutely no effort to reduce the risk he won't do it.

I think I'm going to ask my parents to talk to him, and if that doesn't work I'll see of the health station will have a chat (kind of like the hv service, but we go there). Clearly he doesn't want to listen to me, so hopefully once he realizes it's not just me he'll listen...

acrossthepond I wish there was someone in his family I could get to, but his dad hasn't changed a diaper ever, his brother I'm pretty sure is just as lax, and while id like to think his mother would agree I'm not entirely sure, she's pretty relaxed with safety too. I can see where he gets it from :/

I'll try my side first, if not maybe a friend he'll listen to. We don't have many friends with kids yet, but there might be one.

therealamandaclark I'm not actually sure. At a guess I think he thinks I'm ridiculously overprotective and therefore anytime i mention safety he stops listening. Other examples include securing furniture and tv to the wall, moving hazardous objects away from floor level, leaving small items (mostly screws and the like) around on the floor, not securing car seat properly, not securing the belt properly, not caring about twisted belts or big coats... Basically any and all things safety related.

Wait, so he thinks he can turn around in mid-wee and catch a baby as it falls off? The only way I can see that being even remotely possible is if there is a mirror where he can see the baby on the table behind him whilst he is weeing & stares at the baby the entire time. Even then there would be lag time unless he wees all over the floor as he whips around. And providing all he has to do is turn around, but not have to take any steps to reach the table.

Could you do an experiment (test it first to be sure it's not feasible as you want this to fail miserably)? Have him stand as if he were taking a wee with a small water bottle held like his dick. Hell, have him take a real wee. Have him start pouring the water/weeing. You then quietly roll that fucking cantaloupe (or better yet a 5-7 lb sack of rice or something) over the edge without saying a word and just see if he can stop pouring water/stop his wee mid-stream, turn around, and catch the dropped object.

OMG I would have a heart attack if DH even tried that. One hand always, always on the baby, even if you are standing right there. Babies can be incredibly quick and flip and fall in a split second.

What if you told him that god forbid, something happened.....you would never be able to forgive him and would leave him as the idea of living with you child's killer\maimer would be too much.

You have to kill him,

Nono, acrossthepond55, BEFORE the baby falls off of course. But yes, that's about the gist of it and I think I will try to recreate that scenario. Of course it won't be accepted because he'd catch the baby before it fell though. Hmm, will have to think this one through.

I'll take that shovel now, thanks.

If nothing else works, I think I might have to go there nunkspugget. There is no way in hell he'd ever be forgiven for anything happening

Your DH sounds like a dick.

The car seat stuff - seriously. Seriously?!

Be brutal - does he want his kid to die? Ask him.

I had twins and my back would have broken doing floor changing. We had a play table www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/sp+huge-play-table-in-storage-solutions+a6148 that you could sit on- loads of room and baby lower down and safe. It's used every day as they play on it now (6YO). Saved my back and baby goes in the middle so no edge

Maybe nhs Safety for babies and toddlers page to show him.
So easy to put baby in cot/floor/hold them while weeing or put them in another room.
They definitely can roll off there are posts about it if you google.

I am now trying to think of a scenario where he stops in the middle of changing a pooey nappy because he's so desperate for a wee that he can't wait the 40 seconds until the nappy is changed . In what world do you stop in the middle of that task??

I sympathise, as my DH is a bit clueless about risk as well - nowhere near this level though. The thing is, your DH may manage to catch a falling baby, but could he do it safely? He would need to catch by the shoulders or something and immediately support the head - very very tricky! Without supporting the head, the baby could still be hurt. Would be understand that if you explained it?

My kids are both grown, but it got me to thinking about the past. I can remember my DH 'taking it personally' if I suggested parenting things to him. As if I didn't think that HE thought things through and came to the wrong decision. I don't know why all some men do that.

Infant safety and care wasn't an issue, he was always willing to defer to me. It was as our two boys got to be around 4 or 5. He was much more likely to let them do things I deemed dangerous. Walking on walls, climbing things, LEAVING THEM IN THE CAR TO PAY FOR GAS. I'd point out that something was dangerous or 'not a good idea' and he'd give me an eye roll and a 'pooh pooh' and 'don't be so overprotective, they'll be fine' with a bit of self-defensiveness that I would think he'd put them in danger.

Men, can't live with 'em, can't rip their heads off!