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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

To be horrified at the thought of ......

76 replies

Jessicahyde85 · 13/02/2015 21:08

Two 12 year old girls being left home alone over night to look after a 3 yo a 4 yo and a 7 year old
Seriously what the actual feck??

OP posts:

Only1scoop · 13/02/2015 22:09

I think everyone probably agrees Op that is is wrong....

Is it a relative?

MrsTawdry · 13/02/2015 22:10

ssd really? I grew up on a council estate in the NW and it was so normal...in my community. We all babysat for money. From about 11 in reality but at that age it was more "Here's a pound, take the baby up to the shops and park for me for an hour" and then once you'd done a bit of that, you'd be about 12-13 and get paid for sitting in the night...whilst the Mum went out. It was totally normal. Not overnight though and it was a small community.

MsVestibule · 13/02/2015 22:10

I'm not sure I understand you ssd. I babysat from the age of 13. Why would anybody lie about something like that?

CrapBag · 13/02/2015 22:15

Firstly, calm down because your irate attitude will get you no where when you are being so attacking.

Secondly, no I don't think it's right. I was 13 and looked after an 8, 3 and 4 year olds until the early hours of the morning and when I look back I think it's very irresponsible because it was all so my step mum could get pissed. I was very responsible for my age but I wouldn't have coped in an emergency and this was way before mobile phones and I had no idea where they actually were.

I am under the impression that this has already happened so there isn't anything you can do now. If it happens again you could phone 101 at the time and get their advice.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/02/2015 22:17

We had a 13 yr old sitter once, a few years ago, for our then 1 yr old, once she was already asleep. But her mum was next door and on call. I was happy with this.

Rowanhart · 13/02/2015 22:22

Got to be honest if I knew a 3 yr old was alone with 12 year old overnight, I'd ring police.

So YNBU to be horrified. YABU to kick off at people offering their opinion though.

RabbitSaysWoof · 13/02/2015 22:27

I was a 13 year old baby sitter for a taxi controller who worked until the small hours.

TheFairyCaravan · 13/02/2015 22:30

What did the police say? Did they say they were reporting it to the duty social worker, or have you just gossiped on here and not reported it?

fattymcfatfat · 13/02/2015 22:40

yanbu to be upset by this. my dm was horrified when she found out that the babysitter she paid (16) was going out and leaving me in charge of my nine yr old bro and 15 minth old bro. I was 12 and said babysitter threatened me....I was too scared to tell my mum for ages and said babysitter had quit before I had the courage to say what had been happening.

yabu for your reaction to people trying to explain that we need context. without context my experience is as bad and people would expect ss involvement. but with context it is clear that this was never meant to happen and that if my dm had known it would have ended immediately.

WineWineWine · 13/02/2015 22:41

It is unacceptable and does need reporting to ensure that she doesn't do it again.
The NSPCC guidelines say that children under 12 should not be left overnight without an adult.

Madagascanparadise · 13/02/2015 22:45

It is awful yes and I don't even leave my 12 year olds on their own let alone them caring for younger children but please stop getting so angry with everyone on here, we are the wrong people to get cross with.

When did it happen?

MrsTawdry · 13/02/2015 22:48

Madagascan well I think that's just odd! Why would you not leave a 12 year old in the house alone? in a few years they'll be old enough to marry! Fight in a war! Start a company and have children....mine is ten and is fine alone for an hour or so.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 13/02/2015 22:50

I don't think anyone is going to say leaving a 12 year old overnight in sole charge of two preschoolers is right. If they were babysitting next door's children with easy access to a responsible adult then I wouldn't do it but could understand someone doing it for an hour while the children were asleep.
But overnight with no adult to hand then no. Perhaps a chat to the NSPCC?

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/02/2015 22:50

Are you sure there wasn't an arrangement with a neighbour?

The 12 year olds free to knock if there was an issue.

at a push the two 12 yr olds and 7 ur old would be ok of it was an emergency and there were neigh ours they could call on. But the 4 yr old in the mix definitely not.

and not over night for any of it unless there were people kids could call on.

emergency at a push bit not for a sex session

Madagascanparadise · 13/02/2015 22:51

Sorry MrsTawdry I meant overnight, yes I leave them during the day.

fizzycolagurlie · 13/02/2015 22:57

Is the op gone now? Is she a 12 year old?

MrsTawdry · 13/02/2015 22:58

Fizzy tis highly possible!

arethereanyleftatall · 13/02/2015 23:00

Oh goodness yes, is op the 12 year old left in charge? That would explain a lot.

Madagascanparadise · 13/02/2015 23:01

She did sound about 12

GoofyIsACow · 13/02/2015 23:03

Wow... Perhaps a DM sadface would help?

MmeMorrible · 13/02/2015 23:07

My DD is a sensible level headed girl for a 12 yo but no way would she cope left in sole charge of 3 young DC overnight. It's not safe for the little ones and totally unfair to force such responsibility on the 12yo.

Don't understand why so many snarky comments are being made to the OP. It's a fair question to ask if this is acceptable especially if others around you are condoning this behaviour but it seems 'off' to you.

MNHQ

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 13/02/2015 23:34

Peace and love MNers

BubbleGirl01 · 14/02/2015 00:01

OP I take it this is a family member, that is why you are upset?

You are right to be pissed off with some of the harridans on this thread. No context was needed. It is an unacceptable scenario on every level.

Neglect is what the mother would get charged with if the police had knocked at the door and found the DC without an adult and she had not come back during the night.

I can't imagine the mindset of people who would do something like this or who would think this was reasonable in any circumstance. I was gobsmacked when relatives expected their 11 yr old to come home from school and take over from the childminder in babysitting his baby brother (crawling/toddling: could put something in mouth etc) for several hours in the evening so they could pay less even though they are in so called professional jobs.

I wouldn't leave my 12 yr olds alone overnight themselves let alone to care for younger DCs!

fizzycolagurlie · 14/02/2015 00:21

I think MmeMorrible that we are mocking, not snarking. The OP was outraged but she was furious with all her responses, which indicates either someone who is very unfamiliar with the responses of Mnet or perhaps someone immature who is wanting to kick off a ruck in some way. i don't know, I was making light of it (her ranting, not the core situation cited) personally and I think others were too.

MrsCakesPrecognition · 14/02/2015 13:12

The problem with this thread is that the OP implied that there was a group of children potentially at risk. The OP gave no information about when this was happening or if the children were safe. The OP ignored all the questions about the children's safety and if the situation had been reported.
Other posters mistakenly assumed the thread was about the children. It wasn't, it was about the OPs feelings.

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