To feel we are all a little bit too obsessed with education and school?

[TheOddity]

I've seen threads recently about people remortgaging their house for private education, teachers publicly shamed in front of their peers for results beyond their control, people moving house to be nearer a good nursery, and on and on.
I recently moved to another country in Europe. I asked my new neighbour what the local nursery was like as that's where we intended to send our son. They said "it's very close and convenient". My spidey senses were tingling, did this mean it was a failing nursery? Next I go to the first parents' meeting. Not a word was spoken about targets, the curriculum etc. it was all about food and naps. In the end section for questions, the questions parents asked were about.....food and naps! He is there now for half a year, it's fine, And hopefully sometimes he is learning. There is one secondary school nearby so everyone goes there and again, it's fine. I am not overly worried my son will fail, because he is bright and I will help him.
I just think, are we all insane in the UK? Is it worth the stress? At the end of the day, if you are worried enough about them to remortgage your house, surely you could just do a bit of homework with them each night and it will all turn out ok? AIBU to think that school is all a bit out of proportion and life is pretty unpredictable unless your parents already own a fortune?

"Have you read that sutton report link because its about this very issue."

Yes. I agree that primary schools could encourage more pupils to apply, and support parents with their application.

But the bottom line is that even with the support of the primary school, it's hard for state educated children to compete with other children of similar ability who've had vastly more invested in their education up to the age of 11.

The best achieving comp in my town in a RC one and basically, you have to prove your faith regardless of whether you lived on its doorstep in order to get in! RC children commute in from 20+ miles away! It's a crap system!

"Mini I am not talking about a whole extra level of education and teaching just a few extra sessions for brighter pupils."

So, if we take that really bright state school pupil who's had maybe 10 additional tutoring sessions, and put them in competition with a similarly bright prep-school 11+ entrant, who's not only had two years of tutoring, but has also spent the last 5 years of primary being taught in classes of 14 high ability children, who do you think is going to have the edge? If they were both had the same IQ? Who would you put your money on to win the place?

The system of selection is fundamentally flawed, and no amount of fiddling will put it right.

But the bottom line is that even with the support of the primary school, it's hard for state educated children to compete with other children of similar ability who've had vastly more invested in their education up to the age of 11.

The Bottom line is - without it - its impossible for state pupils compete.

At least this gives them a chance. They have no chance at present.

But so is selection by income.

And actually my dc who were at a school that was RI rocked their 1+ and beat a lot of privately educated kids. Just sayin.

11+

It's hard to beat invested parents, rich or poor.

I've gone through the torture of the 11+ with DC1. I decided to DIY, 6 mths in advance - I mean, how hard can it be with 2 degrees and professional qualifications under my belt?

The volume of work not yet covered/not covered at all by our average state primary let alone having to complete x NVR questions in y time. Let's just say, I fast became DC1's less favoured parent and our relationship has definitely suffered some shouty matches along the way.

I wouldn't have felt the need if our catchment comp had more than a 48% pass at 5 GCSE's A-C which is pretty dire. Now, I grew up in affluent Solihull, where the local comp had twice that % pass rate - well, I would have been more than happy with that!

Its not impossible for bright state kids to compete with prep school Kids.Two of mine have done and both won scholarships.There's a huge number of children with professional parents in state schools nowadays ( likes of Gp's and solicitors) .These come from bright and motivated families and will do well.Parental expectations will be high.The bright kids from nonprofessional families most probably won't.
My local Comprehensive is failing vast numbers of kids.I just feel sad at the number of kids being consigned to the scrapheap because the school doesn't care or the parents just want their child to be 'happy' ( a particularly British viewpoint).

"My local Comprehensive is failing vast numbers of kids"

It'll continue to do so while people like you refuse to use it.

Schools which take in disproportionate numbers of difficult to teach children are very hard places to teach and to learn, regardless of how well they're run.

Schools are communities. Communities which become 'ghettoes' for low achieving children and their uninvolved parents, they do tend to be depressed and depressing places to be.

canny sending her child to the local comp won't change it.

"I wouldn't have felt the need if our catchment comp had more than a 48% pass at 5 GCSE's A-C which is pretty dire"

Probably reflects the intake.

It usually does.

"canny sending her child to the local comp won't change it."

What - like recycling my rubbish won't solve global warming?

Is that your argument for us all going out for a dog-eat-dog educational culture which entrenches privilege and inequality?

Grammar schools do not exist in my area.
Faith schools are not in the least bit picky about faith.
Catchment boundaries are miles across.

Now if only we could get rid of the sponsored academies I'd have saved a fortune on bus fares.

Affluent Solihull has schools with a higher pass rate than less affluent areas? Well I never...

The school's pass rate is not your child's odds. The school's pass rate is hugely influenced by who the school allows through its doors in the first place.

I do agree with the principle that we should all utilise our nearest local school. However, giving people a choice, however limited, still results in the scrabble for the 'perceived' better school in the area. Even politicians, who want to be seen to be politically correct - will only gamble their childrens' education to an extent. I mean, how easy is it to gain entry to the Oratory?

"because the school doesn't care"

And it's insulting to suggest that schools 'don't care'.

Schools consist of teachers who on the whole, are desperate for their pupils to succeed, and parents who want their children to do well. They may not know how to help them, but there are very, very few parents who don't care how their child does at school.

My local Comprehensive is failing vast numbers of kids in what way?

arna - I agree that admissions systems for faith schools are often hideously unfair and discriminatory.

Most the country has no grammar schools. They were abolished where I am from in about 1970. So that's a none issue.

As for private schools some are very non selective except as long as you can pay and take some not very bright children at all. Others are very competitive with ten applicants per place like my daughter's old school.

Clearly parents who do not care about a child's education at home or at school make life a bit tougher for those parents. It will always be morally right to invest time and where you have it money in a child's education out and in school.

One of my children goes to the local comp. We have zero influence on the school. They have refused to engage with parents in a meaningful way.

As parents yes we can help our own child out of school, but the attainment of the other pupils will not be changed by us.

Yes, that's the point! Selection by postcode exists - state school catchments
will always favour those who are richer or those who are more invested.

I'm willing to bet no one will be happy to send their DC to their nearest school if it happened to be crap and I mean, by quite a margin!

But JillyR, no man is a private Island, intire of itself....

Winterbranches - schools are shaped by their pupils as much as they are by the teaching staff and the management.

If you changed the intake you would change the character of the school, and that would impact on the educational experience of all the children in it.

Children learn from each other, and they arrive at their expectations of what their lives can be like from their peer group as much as from other influences.

Schools are shaped by their teaching too.

The trouble is I did use it.I was sucked in by the all inclusive ethos,trendiness and good PR for some years.Child 1 was then removed and transferred to traditional stuffy ( bad PR) local independent school and is now expecting 10-11 A* whereas old equally bright friends are aiming for B's.Higher expectations from both the school and her friends have contributed to this.As a bright quiet well behaved child,child 1 was completely overlooked in a 'equal opportunities' Comp.