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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off with Valentine's bouquet

62 replies

OllyBJolly · 13/02/2015 13:37

First AIBU but angry!

Just got a bouquet of flowers delivered from DH despite me saying every year not to do anything. I hate all this manipulation by the media to make people spend money for what is often substandard products and service. By all means spend the money, but on different things and at a different time and get much better value.

Anyway, it's a big bouquet of roses and gerberas. The flowers are bit tired and droopy. The foliage is bruised - the uppermost frond of the fern is completely torn and damaged. I would guess the cost to be around £35 - £50 to included the delivery fee. If it's still displayable by the end of the weekend I'll be surprised. I currently have a £3 bunch of hyacinths and tulips from Lidl on my windowsill which looks much better (and has been there for a week!).

Am I just being a grumpy drawers? I can't bring myself to text a thank you.

(of course there's always the possibility he specified the worst bunch in the shop because I am a moody menopausal midden)

OP posts:

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 13/02/2015 13:56

Definitely complain to the florists.

name and shame

brightreddress · 13/02/2015 13:56

I know what you mean OP - nothing as bad as a droopy bouquet.

AliceLidl · 13/02/2015 13:57

Yes thank him.

And complain to the florist.

kitchentableagain · 13/02/2015 13:58

Every year I tell him not to spend 50 on flowers and every year he does :D I spent 45 on a spa voucher for him.

I always thank him and feel spoiled by such extravagance. I also always say he shouldn't of so if he ever couldn't/didn't he knows it wouldn't make me feel less loved/love him less.

YABU being annoyed at him. Before he gets in phone the flower company and complain that your battered offering is not really in the romantic spirit his gesture intended. Then phone DH and tell him thank you.

BumWad · 13/02/2015 13:58

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JoanHickson · 13/02/2015 13:59

Are you as annoyed at your DH ignoring your whishes, wasting money and all for a rubbish bunch of flowers?

Hypotenuse · 13/02/2015 13:59

Nah YANBU, expensive flowers aren't my thing either and if my DH got them I'd think wtf as he knows I'm a £1 bunch of daffodils kinda wife.

If it's the thought that counts, surely the thought should be about what you want or like rather than just spending money?

It's like me getting DH 'I love sports' socks just because he's a man. Or I could get him something he'd actually like because I've put some thought into it.

LadyLuck10 · 13/02/2015 14:00

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Stinkle · 13/02/2015 14:02

I do see your point.

DH sent me some for my birthday. Of course I rang and thanked him and gushed over them, but I was a bit

I'm not a huge fan of flowers, I'm perfectly happy with a bunch of daffodils and he knows this. We're not exactly flush with ££ at the moment so at £35 I thought they were a complete waste of money. I'd've rather had a takeaway or gone out with the kids for a pizza.

It just felt like a bit of a last minute, no thought "shit what shall I buy her?, flowers will do" sort of thing that he could do from his desk without much effort.

I'd never tell him any of that, I texted him, I was suitably grateful, but, you know...

Stinkle · 13/02/2015 14:03

And yes, definitely call the florist to complain.

JoanHickson · 13/02/2015 14:05

It is sad so many of you putting up with rubbish you don't want?

Optimist1 · 13/02/2015 14:06

Speaking as someone who had to have a baby to get flowers from my ex, I'm envious of you, OP !

As PPs have said, you do need to thank your DH and to complain to the florist. You know best whether to ask DH, as the purchaser, to do it - your most recent post seems to indicate he'd be annoyed that you'd been sent something less than perfect for his £. If it's better for you, as the recipient, to make the complaint then I think you should tell DH at some stage - you'll have the photo you've taken as proof that your actions are reasonable.

CocktailQueen · 13/02/2015 14:06

I can see your point, OP! I always tell dh I'd rather have small bunches of daffs or hyacinths at random times than an expensive florist bouquet just cos it's Valentines - he does listen to me, though!

I'd also ring the florist and complain.

Yes, I'd thank dh but ask him again - later - not to get you more flowers for V day!

Fudgeface123 · 13/02/2015 14:07

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JoanHickson · 13/02/2015 14:09

Op I would send him a limp bunch of flowers in return.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 13/02/2015 14:13

I'm totally on your side op. Valentine's day is a sad day for men to spend more on flowers than a weekly food shop, all in a vain attempt for a blow job. It's probably the most meaningless commercial holiday of the year. I don't need flowers, something that's already slowly dying, to make my day. Say thank you, they're lovely but then make very clear that no more vday flowers will be appreciated.

laughingmyarseoff · 13/02/2015 14:20

Complain to the florists, some are awful for this. We sent some flowers to a friend and when she sent us a thank you photo we realised that they'd charged us for a larger bouquet (our choice) ad actually sent one half the size!

I do prefer living plants then flowers.

dragdownthemoon · 13/02/2015 14:23

I'm with you, OP. I hate flowers. What a waste of money, I'd be really cross if my DH spent that particularly if I'd told him not to bother! DH knows my feelings about flowers so I don't ever get any from him. I'd rather have a nice bottle of wine!

You should probably thank him but yANBU to feel annoyed by it!!

juliej75 · 13/02/2015 14:24

How do you make it clear that you don't want flowers in the future without it sounding like the current bunch are unappreciated?

Seriously, I would love some guidance on this. DH is convinced that I enjoy various expensive items and hotels because on the special occasions he's organised them, I've politely expressed gushing gratitude. Actually, I haven't particularly liked them - in fact, I would actively prefer something simpler and am gutted to see the money go to waste.

He still thinks he's 'treating' me and won't believe otherwise but I can't bring myself to be blunt about him getting it wrong in the past...

Stinkle · 13/02/2015 14:35

How do you make it clear that you don't want flowers in the future without it sounding like the current bunch are unappreciated?

Not flowers with as such, but DH has been planning on surprising me with a spa weekend - nothing reason, just a nice surprise

I bloody hate spa weekends and anything like that, my idea of hell. I thought I'd been pretty clear about that over the years, but apparently not. Fortunately one of my friends warned me after he'd been speaking to her about it.

I just said I really appreciated the thought, but I really didn't want to go on a spa weekend. It's a waste of money for something I won't enjoy. He was quite upset, but I just couldn't let him waste that sort of money, and suggested we ask my Mum to have the kids and go away for a weekend together instead.

Letmeeatcakecakecake · 13/02/2015 14:37

Thank your poor DH! Not his fault the bunch are shit and he's been mugged off!

ginmakesitallok · 13/02/2015 14:40

Dp sent me flowers a few weeks ago, lovely thought and much appreciated, but they only lasted a couple of days. I couldn't call the florists and complain without him knowing, but he saw the wilted mess they turned into, so hopefully won't order from there again. I think some florists must take the piss round valentine's day, knowing they can get away with any old shite and charge a fortune, because people don't like to complain.

Thank your dp and complain to florist.

YouMeddlingKids · 13/02/2015 14:45

I would be pissed off about this too... once you're living together/ married then as far as I'm concerned all money is family money, and wasting £50 on flowers that will die within days isn't thoughtful as far as I'm concerned. Luckily DH knows exactly how I feel about this and so wouldnt waste our money like this - if he did I wouldn't feel grateful any more than he would if I spent £50 on fancy bubblebath or anything else that he wouldnt want as a gift!

laughingmyarseoff · 13/02/2015 14:57

juliej75 If they want to buy you something, maybe make clear what you would like? I always say: If you want to get me anything, I'd love a plant from the nursery or a bunch of cadbury creme eggs. He used to have a fixation but the a pointed out to him that I have enough to open a small shop and would prefer something else- which i named.

BreakingDad77 · 13/02/2015 15:01

YANBU please can you talk to my DW.

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