We currenty live in West London, in a nice but smallish house. 2 children, and DH and I both work FT. I am fortunate in that I work 20 mins away from home, and have flexible employers, whcih means I can be home for about 5-5.30- see the children, make dinner etc. However, my job is still stressful and I often have to work in the evenings to make up time. DH works very long hours in town. Given that my location/ hours make me the default parent, I have said that I'm not prepared to move more than 30-40 mins away from work so that one of us gets to see the children in the evenings.
DD (9) goes to a good local school, enjoys it and has a lot of friends. DS is due to go there in September, and we've obviously missed the cut off for applications for reception places elsewhere. We're also in the catchment for a good secondary school.
We'd like to move to get more space and perhaps a choice of good secondary schools. Given my need to stay close to work, we're looking at areas like Teddington, Hampton, Twickenham etc. Lovely areas and we could get a nice house. However, looking online on the council websites the good primary schools are full/ massively oversubscribed. Realistically we'd have to find a house, move, THEN apply for schools- DD likely to be initially offered a place at a school a long way away while we wait for a place to come up at a nearby school, and DS not likley to get a local reception place either- again, he'd probably have to go to a interim school a long way away and wait for a place to come up closer. It would be disruprive for DD in her last few years of primary, and hard for DS settling into school.
I'd have a longer commute to work. We'd have to have a much bigger mortgage which would be more stressful. All my current carefully arranged after school care/ DS's nursery would have to be rearranged in a new place.
After 3 sleepless nights worrying about all the ramifications I've just said that I don't think I can face it. DH wants to move for more space and a less urban environment, however he understands that his long hours and lack of flexibility mean that the burden/ hassle/ worry of this is likely to fall on my shoulders. We're both being very understanding about the other's position, but obviously don't agree. As DH pointed out- people move house all the time and make it work. However, I think that our specific location and school pressure just makes it impossible.
(Telling DH to step up and do more isn't really an option- he works 70+ hours a week with a long commute which is one of the reasons we can afford to move. He's a great husband and father at weekends and I'm OK with this- him pursuing this career is a decision we made together.)
Am I being a wimp? Any good stories of people doing this and making it work? Give it to me straight.