AIBU to say that we can't move house as I can't face the upheaval?

[stoopstofolly]

We currenty live in West London, in a nice but smallish house. 2 children, and DH and I both work FT. I am fortunate in that I work 20 mins away from home, and have flexible employers, whcih means I can be home for about 5-5.30- see the children, make dinner etc. However, my job is still stressful and I often have to work in the evenings to make up time. DH works very long hours in town. Given that my location/ hours make me the default parent, I have said that I'm not prepared to move more than 30-40 mins away from work so that one of us gets to see the children in the evenings.

DD (9) goes to a good local school, enjoys it and has a lot of friends. DS is due to go there in September, and we've obviously missed the cut off for applications for reception places elsewhere. We're also in the catchment for a good secondary school.

We'd like to move to get more space and perhaps a choice of good secondary schools. Given my need to stay close to work, we're looking at areas like Teddington, Hampton, Twickenham etc. Lovely areas and we could get a nice house. However, looking online on the council websites the good primary schools are full/ massively oversubscribed. Realistically we'd have to find a house, move, THEN apply for schools- DD likely to be initially offered a place at a school a long way away while we wait for a place to come up at a nearby school, and DS not likley to get a local reception place either- again, he'd probably have to go to a interim school a long way away and wait for a place to come up closer. It would be disruprive for DD in her last few years of primary, and hard for DS settling into school.

I'd have a longer commute to work. We'd have to have a much bigger mortgage which would be more stressful. All my current carefully arranged after school care/ DS's nursery would have to be rearranged in a new place.

After 3 sleepless nights worrying about all the ramifications I've just said that I don't think I can face it. DH wants to move for more space and a less urban environment, however he understands that his long hours and lack of flexibility mean that the burden/ hassle/ worry of this is likely to fall on my shoulders. We're both being very understanding about the other's position, but obviously don't agree. As DH pointed out- people move house all the time and make it work. However, I think that our specific location and school pressure just makes it impossible.
(Telling DH to step up and do more isn't really an option- he works 70+ hours a week with a long commute which is one of the reasons we can afford to move. He's a great husband and father at weekends and I'm OK with this- him pursuing this career is a decision we made together.)
Am I being a wimp? Any good stories of people doing this and making it work? Give it to me straight.

Stoops - I definitely feel the same way as you as we would have loved to settle in that area with our family. The reality is that there has been year after year of inadequate investment in schools and the whole thing is a ticking time bomb. New housing developments have popped up, some sizeable, but no extra provision has been made in terms of schools/GPs etc. No one official can deny knowing about the problem - there has been talk locally for years. You can't get a place at Teddington High School unless you live on approx four of the so-called 'river roads'. Other areas of the country, and especially other areas of greater London, have similar issues but it's a crying shame that more hasn't been done sooner. The other thing I've seen happen is parents who wouldn't have opted for private, going private due to lack of space. It's a relatively wealthy area and the cynical side of me can't help wondering if the planners rely on a certain number of parents doing this out of desperation each year... I wish you luck with staying local to where you are!