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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

who was being unreasonable - driving related

69 replies

whoneedssleepanyway · 12/02/2015 13:18

Last night I was driving down a fairly busy road and turned left down a side road. This road has lots of cars parked on the left hand side (my side) which means there is only room for one car to pass along the road at the place I turn in. I can see a car coming towards me from other end of road where there are no cars parked so room for 2 cars to pass. I keep driving forwards assuming this driver will stop and wait for me to pass but he doesn't so we end up face to face.

Given there is nowhere for me to go I wait there for him to back up, which he doesn't. Eventually he mounts the pavement to drive round me pulling up alongside shouting that it was his right of way, i was fucking rude and gesticulating at me.

Granted I was half on his side of the road necessitated by the parked cars on my side but seriously could he not have waited where it was easy for two cars to pass. It would probably have added 10 seconds to his journey.

Should I have not turned into the road and waited for him to come out my end and then turned in although this would have meant a load of traffic building up behind me?

OP posts:

Chocolatefudgebrownieicecream · 12/02/2015 13:21

It sounds like you had no where to go. You should not reverse back round the corner onto a busy road so I think he was BU.

cailindana · 12/02/2015 13:21

Technically you were in the wrong. The person who is obstructed by parked cars should wait.

But he was a twat.

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/02/2015 13:21

I'm. only leaving so id say he was Bu bit site ill be told otherwise. If there was no where fir you to go it would have been easier for him to wait.

you can't always see of there's a car coming towards you and you can't wait indefinitely at a corner just In case.

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/02/2015 13:22

Ffs typos.

only learning.
Sure

gingerbreadmam · 12/02/2015 13:22

I think it was his right of way so you should have waited if ive read it right. I would have waited. my dp would have gone. do think other driver was ott swearing etc though.

holidaysarenice · 12/02/2015 13:25

You were in the wrong.

We have a highway code for a reason, please read it. Being obtuse and sitting in the middle of the road is not on.

ShatnersBassoon · 12/02/2015 13:26

He did have right of way, and you should have waited. He didn't have to be a shouty dick about it, but you did put him in a tricky position.

mewkins · 12/02/2015 13:28

Yes his right of way but you weren't to know that there was no passing place before you turned into the road. Normally if you slow down a bit and make apologetic faces when you get near to them other drivers are more understanding. It aas probably the fact that you just carried on towards him that he felt aggrieved. You can't win in this situation though...

dexter73 · 12/02/2015 13:29

I agree you should have waited. If it was only 10 seconds until he came past you then you wouldn't have had much traffic building up behind you. He did act like a dick though.

Original poster

whoneedssleepanyway · 12/02/2015 13:31

Thanks all.

It felt like no win situation. I didn't see him till half turned in so yes could have stopped at that point but would have been half sticking out into main road and still wouldn't have been easy for him to pass as already at that point partly on his side of road.

I can just never understand why people get so bent out of shape about these things, maybe he had a bad day, maybe he was late for already for something urgent but it is just so unnerving when a complete stranger gets so angry and swears at you like that it really upset me.

OP posts:

TwinkieTwinkle · 12/02/2015 13:34

You were in the wrong. If your side of the road is blocked by parked cars and someone is driving on the other (unblocked) side, they have priority. I always thought this was common knowledge...

DrDre · 12/02/2015 13:36

Driving brings out the worst in some people. It's like they have a personality change when they get behind the wheel.

Topseyt · 12/02/2015 13:36

It is pretty hard to be sure of visualising it all properly via a description on the internet, but if you could already see that an oncoming car was already coming towards you then you should really have waited rather than assuming he would sacrifice his right of way and let you through.

It doesn't mean he wasn't being an arse, but I am rather a defensive driver and would have waited.

I think it is even more important to err on the side of caution at night because it is so much more difficult to judge speed and distance so accurately.

vdbfamily · 12/02/2015 13:36

Usually at the top of a road like that,where the main road and side road join,there should be restricted parking so that drivers can at least swing off the main road and then wait for the road ahead to be clear.Often inconsiderate motorists park there anyway and this can be dangerous. There should not be parked cars right up tgo a junction with a main road.

TarkaTheOtter · 12/02/2015 13:45

You saw a car coming whose right of way it was but you decided to go anyway because you felt he should stop and wait for you rather than you wait for him - YABU.

BreconBeBuggered · 12/02/2015 13:46

I live close to a very similar set-up, and it's really tricky to judge when you can go, so many local drivers adopt a pretty aggressive go-for-it attitude, regardless of oncoming traffic. I'd have waited for you, traffic behind me permitting; DH would not.

MQv2 · 12/02/2015 14:52

Yabu
Not sure he is being an arse either
If someone was in the wrong then just sat there in the middle of the road and waited for the other driver be the one to reverse then I'm not surprised they'd make rude gestures as it comes across as incredibly rude driving by the person in the wrong in the first plsce

muminhants · 12/02/2015 14:54

" If your side of the road is blocked by parked cars and someone is driving on the other (unblocked) side, they have priority. I always thought this was common knowledge...*

where I live it tends to be whoever gets there first

you are right though

However, I'm not sure it can be so clear-cut where someone turns into a road - you can't just disappear and you can't necessarily see if anyone is at the other end of a long line of parked cars. It's sensible to slow down and go into a gap if there is one, rather than acting all entitled.

Binkybix · 12/02/2015 14:58

But if you can't see that someone else is coming before you turn in then I don't understand what you can do? OP couldn't reverse back into the main road, and they couldn't pass each other without him backing up so why didn't he just back up?

TheWitTank · 12/02/2015 14:59

YWBU, but he was an arsehole about it. I would probably have inwardly rolled my eyes at you, but I would have never opened my window to give you a mouthful. It's hardly crime of the century, just a few minutes of annoyance. On another point, the cars in the side street should not be parked so close to a corner that a car couldn't pull in from the main road properly.

MojaveWanderer123 · 12/02/2015 15:05

He acted like a jerk but you well in the wrong, very much so. You could have waited for him to pass but you decided to mind read instead which was stupid. Men don't think like us so next time just wait.

Binkybix · 12/02/2015 15:15

I might be being daft here, but how could she have waited for him to pass if she had already turned in to the side road and cars were parked all along her side? She was already on his side and couldn't reverse back into a main road.

skylark2 · 12/02/2015 15:17

I failed my driving test for something very similar, even though I couldn't see before I turned whether there was a car there or not.

Eltonjohnsflorist · 12/02/2015 15:21

As others have said the person whose side is blocked should wait but he sounds horrid.

Eltonjohnsflorist · 12/02/2015 15:27

Binky I agree that usually there would be parking restrictions in a set up where truly there is no room to pass but if not the OP would have to reverse back into the main road- to be fair if you can drive out to join it, you must be able to reverse out to wait. Won't make you popular (and if busy you may have to wait a while for a gap) but there really wasn't any other option had the other driver refused to move.

I remember a time DH and I hired a transit van and got caught like this- only with cars parked both sides- and this little old lady parked up in the middle of the road and defiantly got a bag of boiler sweets out and settled in for the long haul, staring us out. She made a transit van do a 3 point turn on a narrow road rather than reverse

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