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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

who was being unreasonable - driving related

69 replies

whoneedssleepanyway · 12/02/2015 13:18

Last night I was driving down a fairly busy road and turned left down a side road. This road has lots of cars parked on the left hand side (my side) which means there is only room for one car to pass along the road at the place I turn in. I can see a car coming towards me from other end of road where there are no cars parked so room for 2 cars to pass. I keep driving forwards assuming this driver will stop and wait for me to pass but he doesn't so we end up face to face.

Given there is nowhere for me to go I wait there for him to back up, which he doesn't. Eventually he mounts the pavement to drive round me pulling up alongside shouting that it was his right of way, i was fucking rude and gesticulating at me.

Granted I was half on his side of the road necessitated by the parked cars on my side but seriously could he not have waited where it was easy for two cars to pass. It would probably have added 10 seconds to his journey.

Should I have not turned into the road and waited for him to come out my end and then turned in although this would have meant a load of traffic building up behind me?

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 12/02/2015 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Behindthepaintedgarden · 12/02/2015 15:43

I think technically you were in the wrong, but by all normal rules of reasonable, balanced behaviour he was being a complete and utter knob.

SauvignonBlanche · 12/02/2015 15:50

Granted I was half on his side of the road so you were in the wrong.
He sounds like a twat though.

Pinkje · 12/02/2015 15:55

i'd say he was unreasonable for losing his temper but if this is the usual set up he probably meets drivers like you all the time - however you were in the wrong this time.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 12/02/2015 15:57

It's difficult to comment on these sort of things because so much is dependent on the nuances of the exact circumstances.

In general though, the principle is that people drive in such a way that you avoid a hazard. So once you have committed to the manoeuvre (i.e. overtaking a line of parked cars) the other driver shouldn't make it worse. As a result he has had to drive over the pavement which is expressly not allowed. The alternative is that you reversed out of a side road which again is not allowed, and is far more hazardous than if he had waited. So, in principle based on what you have said I think he was BU.

Are you sure though that there wasn't space at the start of the road to stop before you started overtaking? If there wasn't then it sounds like people are parked too close to the junction as well.

KirstyJC · 12/02/2015 16:00

So you were already driving on the other side of the road to overtake the parked cars when he drove past the only space to pull in for either of you?

If he saw you were on his side and already driving past the parked cars, then he should have pulled over when he got alongside the space. If the only place for 2 cars to pass each other is coming up on your side, you pull into it. If you carry on when you can see there isn't space for you and there isn't any way the other car can pull over, then you are a twat. More so if you then complain about it and swear and make gestures.

Rules of the road, rights of way etc are all very well but do not take the place of common sense. If he continued to drive on past the only space, seeing full well that there was no other safe option for either of you to proceed, then he was in the wrong.

We have a village near us which drives me mad. It has alternate 'give way' and 'priority over oncoming traffic' parts as the road isn't very wide. When there is a long queue, people driving the other way continue to drive on as its their 'right of way' - despite seeing quite clearly that by doing so, the next junction is blocked so the cars cannot then move on. So everyone sits there glaring at each other because they blindly followed the signs without actually looking ahead and seeing what was on the road in front of them.

Since when did driving mean leaving your brains behind?

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 12/02/2015 16:01

Exactly, right of way does not take precedence over causing unnecessary hazards.

Behindthepaintedgarden · 12/02/2015 16:04

Unfortunately nowadays some people are so fixated on their 'rights', or their kids' 'rights', that things like common sense, consideration and manners have been written out of the equation.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 12/02/2015 16:04

Yeah, you were in the wrong. But, to be fair, the man also acted like a knob and no vehicle should have been parked so close to the junction that you had nowhere to pull in and wait, and an obscured view.

ineedabodytransplant · 12/02/2015 16:25

I get really hacked off with drivers who just turn into a road without making sure it's safe to do so and expect everyone else to give way.

The other driver was a prat but I think you were in the wrong. If you can't see then you don't progress. You wait until you CAN see. You slow down until you can see and move slowly so you are in control of the car. Don't worry about traffic hold ups behind you. People can understand if you can't move.

Also, there seems to be a fad lately where drivers turning right off of a road will 'cut' the corner. I had one the other day who ended up at right angles to me. No way was I giving them space. I know that may sound antagonistic but I had that happen to me a few years ago and because she didn't slow down she peeled the side of my car open like a tin opener.

BrianButterfield · 12/02/2015 16:30

I know a couple of road like this near me. You can't see the end of the parked cars as its round a bend so you have to go ahead if it seems clear. Anyone coming the other way has to stop even if it's their right of way. It's pretty obvious and everyone does it, as well as driving slowly though this bit of road. I have been beeped at once there but seeing as I've also given way plenty of times when technically I Had right of way, I put that down to the other driver being a twunt.

SoupDragon · 12/02/2015 16:31

It's one of those cases where the legalities and reality don't match up. Yes, he had right of way but you had nowhere to go whilst he had space to pull in to.

PetraDelphiki · 12/02/2015 16:31

We have a turn like this near us... People park so close to the end of the road that it is physically impossible to see if there is anything coming until you have actually turned (they are parked on double yellows so that their little darlings don't have to walk too far too school...)... I'm waiting for a head on collision one day.

SoupDragon · 12/02/2015 16:35

If you can't see then you don't progress. You wait until you CAN see

Often, waiting won't miraculously create visibility. You need to be in a certain position before you can see.

tiggytape · 12/02/2015 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/02/2015 16:36

We have roads like this too. You can't see all the way and cars park to close to the junction so you cant wait behind, It's all very well going g by rights of way but you can only see so far if its packed witg cara and goes round, and if it's obvious there's no where to pull in then the person who has a space they can wait in surely should be the one to do so? regardless of where the obstruction is.

We get this alot round here. People would rather the bus had to reverse than pull into a gap their side even if there's nowhere for the bus to go

TheWitTank · 12/02/2015 16:37

I think the op needs to clarify a few points. I read it as op pulled in around the bend where there was a car space (were cars parked all the way up to the corner of the main road?). Op saw a car coming, but decided to go as she presumed he would wait - did you see him as you were moving past cars or as you pulled around the bend? I have given way to other drivers technically in the wrong on occasions as one has to use common sense, but some drivers are very bloody minded over rules and regulations and will plow on anyway regardless of it causing a issue for other road users.

PtolemysNeedle · 12/02/2015 16:41

YWBU. The obstruction was on your side of the road, so you should have waited. Of course he could have waited too, but it was rude of you to assume that he should.

He over reacted.

tiggytape · 12/02/2015 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weeblueberry · 12/02/2015 16:44

So did you pull round the corner onto the wrong side of the road with no visibility as to what was on that side of the road already? Technically you should have come around so slowly that when you did see him approach you should stop, whether it means you're half in/half out or not. Because if he's been further along or there was no where to pull in that's what you'd have had to do I suppose.

We have a corner like this in our village - people park literally right around the blind corner so I've taken to approaching that corner at an absolute crawl until I know there's nothing coming in the other direction. When coming in the other direction I also slow right down if there's a car on the corner, even though I legally have right of way because new people don't know to anticipate it. It honestly surprises me that no one has smashed into the car that seems to constantly park there or that his inept parking hasn't caused a head on collision yet...

Georgethesecond · 12/02/2015 16:47

You should have stopped once you were round the corner, before the first parked car. If there wasn't room to do that then the driver of that parked car was in the wrong as parked too close to the junction. The other guy wasn't in the wrong, until he behaved like a total arse. Then he was.

FindoGask · 12/02/2015 16:57

If you were already committed to overtaking the parked cars before his car came into view, he was in the wrong. If you saw him and then pulled out to overtake the parked cars, you were in the wrong.

Toughasoldboots · 12/02/2015 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PetraDelphiki · 12/02/2015 17:08

Certainly with our junction the road is only one car wide even at the junction because of the parking... By the time you can see if there is a car coming you are totally on the road and reversing back out onto the main road would be impossible!!

PetraDelphiki · 12/02/2015 17:09

And yes... An accident would be completely the fault of the selfish parking on the double yellows... But no one seems to be bothered enough to ticket them!!