To think that DD will not be kidnapped and sold into white slavery when we go to Marrakech?

[Taz1212]

We're off to Marrakech later this year- DH, DS(12), DD(9) and me. I know Marrakech isn't everyone's cup of tea, but the ILs and now DH are starting to drive me up the wall! The ILs don't generally approve of how we are raising our DC (too much independence, too many activities etc) but DH usually rolls his eyes and says, "see how it was when I was growing up?" However, they have been going on and on and on about how they would never take children to Marrakech (not that they would ever go themselves...) and how DH is going to have to never let DD out of sight- and preferably never let go of her hand- so that "nothing bad" happens to her.

DH is now paranoid and is saying he is doing this holiday under duress. It all seems full of histrionics to me. I get that ILs like their holidays to be all sanitised - resort holidays and cruises where they never have to leave their little bubble. I like the odd sanitised holiday myself, but I also like a bit of adventure and that's what this is going to be.

Surely if kidnapping little British girls were a rampant problem, I would have heard about it, no?

I don't know about Marrakech but I wouldn't take my DD to Tunisia as two men attempted to drag me into the back of a shop when I was there with my parents. And when I say with my parents, we were walking together. They turned round and saw me and grabbed me back.

I am kind of with your ILs as I would not be able to relax but that is purely based on my experience in Tunisia as a child. Obviously it's not a regular occurrence or, as you say, it would be more "newsworthy"

Took two year old blonde DD there last year. We travelled around Morocco independently and stayed several days in a small Riad in Marrakech where the owner wasn't there at night and we had it to ourselves.

We are sensible, had a mobile phone with the owners number, kept DD on her reins and had a fantastic holiday. Very hot though!

Anywhere in the world has the potential for danger. You just need to be sensible and take care - which doesn't mean never travelling!

We went with our (then) 9 yr old and 8 yr old three years agao and had a great time. Loved staying in the medina and didn't feel in any danger of being kidnapped. As someone else said, the main danger seemed to be the motorbikes/scooters!

The hassle level was greater, or at least harder to handle, out in the villages as there weren't so many tourists. In Marrakech if you just keep walking, they move onto the next person. Outside Marrakech they are more likely to stick with you.

Not threatening, just awkward.

The US government doesn't warn against going to Morocco because of kidnappings, either. Nor does the government of Canada. Unless there are a huge number of tourist kidnappings going unreported so it doesn't show up on Google (unlikely to say the least), kidnapping is not likely to be a problem.

Your ILs are being unreasonable and possibly racist, xenophobic, or anti-Muslim. If you want, you could try asking them why, exactly, they think that DD will be in danger of being kidnapped in Marrakech. Keep pressing for details till they say something obviously racist, xenophobic, or anti-Muslim. Hopefully they get uncomfortable saying that stuff out loud, maybe even re-think their ideas. If not... well, at least now you know.

Yanbu. This country is an island but it shouldnt be a bubble. Go and have fun.

Your ILs need to relax and get on the Foreign Office website for info.

Don't forget to go to the Jardin Majorelle.

I love Marrakech, I think everyone should go. Have been twice and cant wait to go back, Love it. ( with DC)

Your ILs are being unreasonable and possibly racist, xenophobic, or anti-Muslim

I think some of the older generation has this idea its full of un savery men looking out for little morocan boys...thats what my in laws said anyway

Friends went there last year with their pretty blonde 4 year old DD and said they would never go back. People were obsessed by the DD, the husband got offered coke for sale when they were walking down the street. Said they felt uncomfortable a lot of the time.

This makes me sad. I live in the Middle East in a country where there is a real mishmash of Arab cultures. There is a BIG culture clash between Brits and people from these cultures when it comes to kids and it basically boils down to the Brits being a bit more protective/individualistic over their kids, whereas the Arab cultures think nothing of whisking kids off you, showering them with kisses and a fuss and showing them things.

Once you learn to roll with it, it's truly wonderful and makes eating out very easy. I'll admit there are frequent times when my boundaries get crossed (for instance last week a perfume seller sprayed my toddler in perfume, I went ape shit) so have your wits about you. But kidnappings? No. That must be a cultural misunderstanding that has arisen as a result of this huge cultural gulf.

If it's any consolation, there are probably lots of Moroccan mother in laws with similar probably more legitimate worries about their grandkids being taken to big bad London ;)

Keep your knees and shoulders covered (even if you don't have to) and things may be a little easier.

Went to Marrakech in October. Hated it. The riad we booked wasn't what was advertised and we ended up shelling out to move to a hotel as it was in such a dodgy area. It was exceptionally dirty. As in it seemed that rubbish was never collected but just piled up everywhere.
But mostly, it was the first time in my life I felt awkward being ginger!
It made me sad to see so much history being neglected but there we go.
I might have had a better time if I wasn't in a moon boot because of a broken foot! Meant I didn't get to enjoy a trip out to a waterfall that we did.
However, I loved our holiday in South Africa and Swaziland the year before.

Kitsmummy the Arab adoration of children (they are a gift from God) can feel a bit overwhelming at first, if you're not used to it, and blonde kids do get more attention, but there is no malice behind it. It's just incredibly different from what we are used to in the UK. It's sad that your friends used the word 'obsession' and came away with such a negative view of it. I'll admit it can be quite tiring to get so much attention, but they don't mind and even respect you if you're not in the mood for it and tell them directly to leave you alone, because again that is a big cultural difference that people expect to be told directly if they're pissing you off

"Being treated like a little naive child who just doesn't understand the dangers annoys me."

Perhaps you could just tell them that you plan to cut out the middleman and will be selling her directly yourselves? And are trying to work out a reserve price.

Or would they explode?

Dd2 just back from holiday in Marrakech. Said it was ok but found a week too long in they town. Loved the trip to the coast which she said was fab. Got a fair amount of hassle from men though.

I was groped by a man in a shop in marrakesh. I was trying to purchase something at the time . I was also with "my husband" who was a bit of a nob tbh and just wandered off.

I did try and make it clear it wasn't an acceptable thing to do but looking back I hours have been more forceful. I was trying to give benefit of doubt due to different culture etc which obviously is bollocks but I was only young then.

That can happen anywhere though. But do be careful/wary I think the attitude to women, especially western women there can be at bit .

I've worked there a bit - like the other North East African countries it can be incredibly hard work as a light skinned westerner, especially if you're not used to the constant attention.
Not many kidnappings though

YANBU. People have funny ideas. I lost track of the number of times I was told we were brave or stupid for going to Vietnam, as we would surely be blown up.

You would think people from Belfast would be less likely to judge currently peaceful places by the standards of a 1970s conflict. But anyway...

We went one July. It's a swear word in our house now too. Dp has traveled the world, speaks fluent french but bloody hated it. He couldn't bear the hassle. We are quite streetwise generally but I didn't always feel safe, tbh.

We had no end of hassle but I think we were just unlucky, it was unbelievably hot and the start of Ramadan so I think tempers were frayed amongst the locals.

I would go back, I loved the architecture, the food, drink and markets in winter. And not with dp.

We loved it and would happily take the DCs now. I would ve prepared for random women fawning all over them because they do! It's not a problem really.

Definitely learn "La Shukran" (no thank you) and get over your natural British politeness or you'll be dragged into every shop. Learn that then just "La!" With a glare (no!) Then ignoring then insulting.

I remember butter wouldn't melt Asian MIL wedding fabric shopping. Spitting out "This is useless, rubbish work! I wouldn't pay you more than x for this! " I was

We took our 6 year old and 3 year old to Marrakech- they loved it. They found it a bit full-on at first but soon settled in.

As for adult women, you get much less hassle if you dress appropriately for the Moroccan culture, which is pretty conservative. I wore loose long sleeved tops and below-knee trousers. I saw lots of western women in shorts and vest tops and they were getting openly stared at and cat called.

I've been a few times. Very safe, no problem. Tell your DH not to worry.

My mother nearly ruined my first trip to Thailand with worries about kidnapping and being murdered. She went on so much about it I was in a bit of a state before I went and considered cancelling. I had a wonderful time and have been back several times since. After I came home I was really annoyed that I had let my mother get to me and let her ruin the anticipation of my holiday. So from then on I have had a policy that I tell her where I am going, and no comments that are not curious about the destination or positive about potential experiences are allowed. I am a sensible person who can find out travel safety information myself.

I'd never go back to Turkey or Tunisia
dirty stinking places, food poisoning, un fenced shear drops round stairwells, we got harassed constantly and spoken to inappropriately when in the market and town
3 women and 3.kids
I know.loads of.families who go.and.love it. But they go with their dh s and groups of men and women

Can't say as I agree you don't get hassle if you dress appropriately.

I was in full trousers and a loose top most of the time I was there and was hassled so much I made one of my males friends pretend to be my husband.

Turkey and Tunisia are different countries to Morocco. That's like saying you wouldn't visit the UK because you didn't like France and Germany.

I loved Istanbul. Never been to Tunisia. The Arabic country I am least keen on is Egypt. I find the hassling in the soul persistant to the point of extreme irritation. In Morocco I found that the sellers backer off when you said no thanks. I prefered Fes to Marakkesh, but it is a long train journey from Marakkesh.

The Arabic country I would most like to visit currently is Oman. I think it looks more cultural interesting than the other Gulf States I've visited.

I'm assuming you've never taken DD to that there London town then, have you? It's DEADLY...

I know what you mean about the patronising bit...we constantly get comments from the ILs along the lines of "you better take jumpers for the kids" or "we're amazed you can relax with a pond in your garden" (which has a grille over, and, guess what, they're toddlers so I PLAY WITH THEM IN THE GARDEN, rather than release them with the hounds...Makes me think they think I'm a crap Mum who doesn't love her children properly.

The only way of coping is a) to laugh at the hypocrisy (DP once fell in on a canalboat holiday when he was little and they didn't even notice till another boater fished him out and yelled at them) b) to realise it comes from a place of love and c) just smile...

Have a fab holiday.