To be annoyed at people asking whether my pregnancy is planned

[happygojo]

Now.... prior to being pregnant I would have NEVER asked someone this. I mean if they are telling you they are pregnant then they are obviously planning to continue the pregnancy so whether the baby was planned or not is completely irrelevant.

I feel that I am being asked A LOT, possibly because I am unmarried. I mean that is a conscious choice, me and my bf have a house together and are totally committed. We are in our late 20s and it is me that can't think of anything worse than spending a load of money, time and stress on a wedding when I am ready for a family now.

I just don't think it is anybodies business whether my child is planned... or anyone else's child for that matter.

I might just be hormonal and sensitive

I was asked by some catty colleague when someone answered for me, he was a very funny chap who was a visiting consultant to our company.

The consultant chap and I had worked together for a while and so he knew I had endometriosis and was trying for a baby. He was gay and he and his partner were looking to adopt so we had talked a lot about babies.

His response to her was "no, oh my god, she woke up one morning with a sticky nightie, imagine the horror!" my catty colleague had a sucked lemon face. It was priceless.

If it helps, I was asked that too - in my 30s and married. I was also asked "how?" - I wasn't sure how to take that - was it meant like "how, you are so old surely you are unable!" or "how did you manage to convince someone to shag you? You munter!" - I answered that one with "erm, I had sex..." and a face....

As a tip, don't answer the 'married question' with saying you've got a mortgage and child so that's a commitment, it just raised an opening for people to tell you that the father has a legal commitment to the bank and a commitment to the child, but not you and talk about the various legal benefits from being married. Just say something vage like "maybe one day" or 'not a priority now' if you think you might one day. Don't do as other friends have and said "we're not going to" then got family members being really smug that "they'd come to their senses" and "we knew you'd end up married even when you kept saying you wouldn't!" later on when they announced they had quietly eloped - don't back yourself into a corner!

oh and even better, when I was pregnant with DC2 I said I was pregnant at work, one of the partners looked a little concerned and said "and are you pleased ?" - in her defence, she'd found having 1DC really hard, had bad PND - made worse by having to return to work FT at under 5 months to keep on track for partnership, while having to pump breast milk between meetings as her DC was allergic to formula milk. And her DC didn't sleep. She didn't have anymore and found it hard to believe other people who said they enjoyed the baby stage!

'Was it an accident?'

'Yes, I tripped over and landed on a dick'

Just love it - I would so love to use this next time I am asked - but people asking me tend to be people I hardly know at the moment - actually it would make it funnier..... I'm SO going to say it next time

'Was it planned?'

'No...but I did get in the bath after DH/DP without changing the water a couple of months ago, that's all we can think of for how it could have happened'

Yep people become annoying and stupid around pregnancy.
ILs asked me when it was conceived. I said "TMI!!!! Not saying". I mean, FIL asking too! Grim.

When I announced my pregnancy at work someone asked if my partner had agreed to it??!!!

It's just people trying to sound interested. Not much different from asking if you moved flat because you had to or you landlord wanted to sell up or did you get a new car because you wanted one or your old one broke. It's just a question on the subject to continue conversation.