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AIBU?

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Original poster

to bring my baby in the shower with me?

181 replies

Flingmoo · 09/02/2015 22:02

He's 8 months old and I am fed up with being stinky and greasy where I seem to have no time for baths and showers these days, he sits, crawls and climbs things so can't just stick him in a bouncy chair for the duration. He's a light sleeper so can't make noise showering or bathing while he's asleep.

DH and I usually bring him into our bath but won't be practical if I'm home alone. Wondered if shower would be possible though as it's an enclosed en suite shower so maybe he'll just sit down while I shower? I could sit down with him... Anyone else done it? Or am I being completely crazy?

OP posts:
Zebrasinpyjamas · 10/02/2015 10:41

My DS is a similar age. If I can't shower before my dh leaves in the morning, I put thick towels on the floor of the bathroom so he has a soft base, and give him some toys to play with. He actually normally likes to watch the water run down the screen out of the time. He doesn't pull himself up yet though which helps. More relaxing to shower without an audience though! Smile

ifitsnotanarse · 10/02/2015 10:47

I feel your pain, OP. My 2 were and still are demons and couldn't be left alone for 2 mins in a cot, seat, whatever, without screaming, shouting, and getting into mischief. Even now, at 9 & 4, I can't shower or go to the loo without them coming to look for me because they need a snack, they've won at Mario Karts/FIFA/Lego Marvels and I need to come & see, they need batteries for the remote, look at the cut on my foot (no cut whatsoever), can I eat this apple (get it out of the toilet now!!!!!). Hmm
And people tell me that I'll miss all this when they are grown up. Not bloody likely!

NeedABumChange · 10/02/2015 10:49

If he goes to bed at 6:30pm, why can't you shower anytime after that???

AnotherMonkey · 10/02/2015 10:49

Of course - do whatever works!

DD (DC2) hated being left alone. She loved LOVED it in the shower, it used to make her go all blissed out and floppy. Sometimes she'd even fall asleep - result :)

Shower with your baby. Or bath. Or wait til the eve so DH can hold little one if you want to wash your hair. Or put them in their chair in the bathroom. Or grab a shower at naptime. Whatever you feel like. It's hard sometimes just to find space in the day to get dressed - I remember that stage well.

But yes, technically baby is fine in the shower. And all the judgemental shit - wtf?

SweetsForMySweet · 10/02/2015 10:50

Put him in his cot with some toys (nothing too big) or get a playpen with bars (great for keeping them safe and encouraging them to pull themselves up/learning to stand/walk in safe environment(put some blankets on base tour prevent him hurting himself if he tumbles over). The shower is too dangerous, you could slip/drop him and I wouldn't leave him loose on his own if crawling whilst you are in the shower incase he hurts himself, bring the baby monitor if he is in a separate room

Minisoksmakehardwork · 10/02/2015 10:53

I've plonked dts in bath while I've showered before. Pop plug in so the bath fills up while you shower, get dried and dressed then washed baby. They were quite happy with some bath toys/empty bottles and obviously I could supervise while I dried and dressed.

Alternatively, pop baby in cot/bedroom with stairgate while you shower. Save the complicated bits for when dh is home and you need a longer shower.

dreamingaboutcheese · 10/02/2015 10:53

It would be really tricky to clean you/him as he's be really slippery - I found the jumperoo my best friend when I needed to run for the shower... or I would put DD in the cot with the mobile on and that bought me 15 mins. They may shout for a few minutes, but will probably calm after that... and you HAVE to have 5 minutes to look after yourself so don't beat yourself up. Plus it teaches them to be ok in their own company - not a bad lesson!

Passmethecrisps · 10/02/2015 11:01

Glad he enjoyed the shower! My 2yo eyes the shower with deep suspicion.

It sounds like she was very similar to your DS - early crawler, walker and all things higher than her are a climbing challenge.

Once we got a stair gate when she was maybe 5mo I used to shut all the hall doors and just let her roll about and explore. It was completely safe and she used to love 'escaping' the bathroom. Her little face as she rolled, flopped and commando crawled away was a picture

AnotherMonkey · 10/02/2015 11:01

I wouldn't say that the shower is too dangerous. No more than swimming. Or getting in and out of the bath.

You're obviously not going to be able to wash hair or do anything more than freshen up...

But I used to take DD in at the same age, my body meant she wasn't blasted by water, she loved the warmth and what I assumed was the sparkle in the water, lovely memories!

I remember so well what it's like to try to get ready with a baby who is forcefully protesting. For me, it was another option which meant that a) it was less time for her to be expected to entertain herself and b) she was either a bit more chilled or asleep when it came to getting dressed etc.

DisappointedOne · 10/02/2015 11:05

I did switch to no nasties, no silicone products when bathing/showering with DD. Didn't want stuff landing on her/her sitting in it.

DisappointedOne · 10/02/2015 11:06

"You're obviously not going to be able to wash hair or do anything more than freshen up..."

Why not?

Passmethecrisps · 10/02/2015 11:08

I presume this means if she is holding the baby

PurpleStripedSock · 10/02/2015 11:09

I took mine in the shower or brought her into the bathroom to potter around while I washed. There is no way she'd have stayed in a cot with some toys if I was out of sight.

You are not being unreasonable to do whatever works for you.

iwantgin · 10/02/2015 11:10

When DS was that age I would set up the travel cot as a playpen and pop him in that if I wanted to go and get a shower/go to the toilet/clean/cook. He was perfectly happy in there, and could not climb out as it had high sides.

It is good for them to learn to spend a little time alone -not to have you in sight at all times.

AnotherMonkey · 10/02/2015 11:12

disappointed yes, maybe that's just me Grin

I couldn't when she was small enough to need carrying, I'd have a bath or evening shower on those days instead. I can't remember when she started to sit safely, but then I did what mini suggested and let her sit and play in the bath.

Could you carry and hair wash? [impressed]

DisappointedOne · 10/02/2015 11:12

"It is good for them to learn to spend a little time alone -not to have you in sight at all times."

Interested in the scientific basis of this. Any research to support that?!

AnotherMonkey · 10/02/2015 11:20

That's just reminded me - we had something like this

When she was a bit sturdier she could sit in this and we used it for baths with her brother. I can't remember using it much in the shower but it might be useful?

PurpleStripedSock · 10/02/2015 11:23

"It is good for them to learn to spend a little time alone -not to have you in sight at all times."

Mmm, at 8 months, prime separation anxiety age, I disagree with that but again, we all get through it however we can hey.

ilikepie · 10/02/2015 11:34

I'd make his room/a room safe for him and get a gate on it. Then he can roll and crawl and mess about on the floor with toys while you have quick shower with the door open so you can hear him. You'll be able to tell if any crying is just grumbling about being left alone or if he really needs you. And a shower really only need take a few minutes. It's what I've been doing, DD is now 14 months old, and as i have 2 other children it's vital i can leave her for a few minutes in a safe place if i am dealing with bottom wiping, bathing others etc. It's good to have a safe place to put her and i like that she is able to potter happily on her own for a little while if needs be. FWIW with my PFB I felt that I couldn't leave him for a moment, and felt that there wasn't time in the day to shower, cook or do anything not directly related to him. Now I have 3 small kids, I think I've got better at it and seem to be able to get more done, counter to expectations!

rallytog1 · 10/02/2015 12:01

Purple are you seriously saying a mum shouldn't have a shower on her own in case her child feels a bit of separation anxiety?!

MrsBojingles · 10/02/2015 12:10

I've been sitting DD in her bouncy chair in the bathroom and giving her a couple of toys for the last couple of weeks (she's had a stinking cold and I hoped the steam might ease it) she loves it. You could do something like that, or sit him in the tub maybe?

I can't leave DD to play in her cot as she rolls over and gets her legs stuck between the bars, managed to give herself a bruise from it last week, so I've got the travel cot out as there's nothing she can hurt herself on in there!

squoosh · 10/02/2015 12:13

He'll develop separation anxiety if his mother has a shower by herself? Okaaaaaaaay then.

purplewoofer · 10/02/2015 12:23

I shower with my son who is 20 months. We don't have a bath but have a large shower. I put down the non slip mat and a washing up bowl with some plastic cups and he is happy as anything. The only issue is dragging him out! Newly pregnant with no 2 but not sure how that will work with a newborn but have a while to worry about that!

PurpleStripedSock · 10/02/2015 12:28

That's an interesting interpretation of what I said rallytog1 but lol it's not what I'm seriously saying, no.

What I'm seriously saying is that when my daughter was that age, I chose to bring her into the bathroom or shower with me rather than having her scream in another room/cot in distress as she was going through the traditional separation anxiety for that age.

I'm a single mother by choice so have no other alternative if I wanted a shower while on mat leave and it was never a stress or a chore to shower around a baby in the bathroom.

slithytove · 10/02/2015 12:30

I bath and shower with my kids on my own, don't see that it's unsafe? I think you can do this easily if you can't find another solution.

Does he not nap or sleep at night? Not read thread so sorry if this has been mentioned.