At the weekend DD (2) became v poorly with a fever. She had a violent fit and then became limp, turned blue and stopped breathing. Her eyes went glassy. At that moment the paramedics arrived and cleared her airway and she stated vomited. She's now poorly, but fine and has been released from hospital tonight.
I am 9 months pregnant, due Friday.
In the midst of it all, god forgive me, but I thought take this baby not DD. I honestly thought she was dying, not that's any excuse. I can't believe I thought it.
I feel like a horrific human being and now I'm frightened I'm going to be punished and something will be wrong with the baby.
I don't feel able to talk to DH or anyone about what I thought. How can I tell them I chose between them like that?
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AIBU?
To think I'm horrific and feel terrified
47 replies
Rowanhart · 09/02/2015 19:28
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